EP.1 Highly Sensitive 
When should I be honest with myself? 
Now. Just now.

"I am too sensitive. I am highly sensitive. I get hurt easily, every second I feel hurt.“

Once every month, I become weak, my body aches, and I am bleeding. A week before the bloodshed, or three days before, I feel terrible, I feel bad. Come on! The blood hasn't come out at all. Then my blood flows, like a torrent, like a rush river. Extremely tired I am that I even skip work, because it is too painful. „Kill me!“ I shout. No kidding. It was at the fifth grade in elementary school, when my period come for the first time. My blood stained all over the desk and chair. Boys were curious and yelled „Look! It’s blood!“. „What a shame!“ I cried inside. 

„Hey! No entry. Don’t go to the temple! No way.“
When the blood bleeds, I become super sensitive.

Sensitive, only for females having period? Of course not. People are all sensitive. People all have periods.

I feel the pain.

I lie on the bed, someone is beating, pinching, and punching me. I sit on the ground, I am watching him being kicked and caught, a group of others are playing the happy corner. I stand behind the pillar, and someone is grabbing her hair, splashing water and slapping her. I walk on the road, he drags me to the dark corner. I threaten a 3-year-old child with a knife. I grab my junior in the school and throw him away. I have no friends, and no one will talk to me after class. 

I am beating the wall and cursing wildly in my bedroom. 

I am useless.

When I am down, I stand on the edge of the roof. It’s unsafe, it’s awful, it’s dark. „Don’t jump!“

I jump.

I let go, I turn to the darkness. 
„Let it be.“ I can do, nothing.

It is so cloudy, so blind, so quiet. No! So noisy! So loud! So bright! What’s going on here? 

There is this dim light breaking free, free from our hour of trouble. „Too shining!“ „My eyes are aching“. I keep seeing these lights flickering, just like crystals. Why? Because I am super sensitive.

In my night, my painful night, with severe heartache… in which I wonder if I am dying, I am always attacked by these bright spots. At the moment, I listen to music, I drink coffee, or I just…have some sweets!

Guess what?
I connect all my feelings with the music I enjoy, the coffee I favor, the food I like, and those colorful light spots! Ah-ha!

It's really suitable for our beings. Hey, those plots also make me moved.

Why am I moved?
Too sexy? Too much.

There is an old Chinese saying that goes: 
„Am I the only sober mind in the drunk world?“
Nope, now we should say:
"The more secret the world is, the more frank we are.“

Sexy Umy Season 2, I’ve got more things. Gentle but direct. Keep following.

#sexy_umy #sensitive #umychang #psyche #highly_sensitive #synesthesia #empath #empathy #synesthete #relationship #sexeducation #female_period #male_period

Powered by Firstory Hosting