Most of us have the experience of having had parents, teachers, coaches and others use the tactics of guilt, shame and isolation to teach us life lessons. When we deploy such tactics we may solve the problem at hand, but we teach our children other lessons about who they are and how they should feel about themselves. Typically these tactics solve OUR problem (we no longer have to deal with the issue as a parent) at the expense of the confidence, self worth and soul of our kids.  There is another way.