Faith & Feels

Ep.23 Real Talk with Pastor Deborah Flanagan


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In this episode, I sit down with Pastor Deborah Flanagan for a deeply honest and grace-filled conversation about love and sex addiction, compulsive masturbation, and the hope we can find in recovery. We explore the powerful role that childhood wounds, trauma, and shame play in shaping our sexuality—and how compassion, vulnerability, and spiritual tools can guide us toward healing.

Deborah brings both pastoral wisdom and lived experience to this conversation. She’s a leader at Pure Desire Ministries, an organization that walks with individuals and churches through the journey of healing from sexual brokenness. As someone who’s walked the path of recovery herself, Deborah offers insight on how the FASTER Scale helps identify emotional states that precede relapse, and how true healing requires presence, community, and grace.

We also talk about the tension between love addiction and love avoidance, parenting with acceptance, the holiness of sex and marriage, and what it means to be fully known without shame.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of fantasy, secrecy, or emotional disconnection—or you’re supporting someone who is—this episode offers encouragement, practical tools, and the reminder that you’re not alone.

Topics include:

  • Childhood experiences and their impact on sexuality
  • The role of trauma, shame, and conviction
  • Navigating gray areas of sin and personal beliefs
  • The holiness of sex and marriage
  • Love addiction, intimacy disorders, and relational dynamics
  • Conflict resolution, emotional awareness, and vulnerability
  • The FASTER Scale and breaking the addiction cycle

Recommended Resources:

www.puredesire.org

www.youtube.com/@PureDesireMinistries

"Unraveled Kit" by Pure Desire Ministries, a curriculum online to help manage love, sex, and relationship addiction.

www.iitap.com

www.sexhelp.com

PIxabay Music: "Exciting Day" and "Team Positive Day"

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Faith & FeelsBy Rika Lopez