Hey! Stop scrolling 📱. Take the bag and just go out. For what?

Answer all questions. 
Question my answers.
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EP.3 Too Humane 

I know myself too well.
When I am silent, I am going to leave. Why? I can't stand it anymore, let me go.

I don't understand myself .
I don’t know what I want to do the most. Why? Because I haven't found it yet.

I have too many aspects. I can't realize each of them at every moment, I'm so scared. I can't predict my looks or behaviors just seconds before I do them.

That’s not true. It is just an excuse. What I really mean is that…I'm afraid of being gossip. I put up a façade, so I am always nervous and getting tired easily. I shouldn’t show myself at first.

Since the connections between people are complicated, so are all social networks, there are rumors, verbal attacks, vicious messages all over the place. This world is very dangerous!

I'm enough: there are too many chat rooms to reply...every day there are stories about human sex and sexuality...that who is with whom...someone takes advantage of others...

I want to fight back.

But me, “I want to be nice to everyone.” If you slander me directly, I won't fight back. I am truly kind.

No. It is not my kindness. 
This is my stubbornness.

I utter inside my heart:
Since I will get hurt, don't go out! Stay here and protect myself.

However, I am very selfish. I ask selfish questions within my mind:
If I am old, who will protect me? If I am sick, who can take care of me? If I am gone, who will bury me?

Can I solve these problems? Oh, no! I am not sure…let me Google it on my phone…

Hey! Stop scrolling 📱. Take the bag and just go out. For what?

Answer all questions. 
Question my answers.

"Just do what you want." That sounds simple. But as I sitting quietly at the MRT platform, watching people passing by, 
this sentence seems more than its literal meaning. 

It means more, in my mind: Why didn’t I say “Just do what you want “ to you? 

Because when I am going to order you, I felt that you were not doing anything right; when I am not going to restrict you, I'm afraid that you will do nothing right.

The essence behind this saying is common: Doing what I want to do is always a challenge. Because I follow peoples’ ideas, I forget my own words.

What do I want? 

“To get up early? Or to sleep in?" I need to get enough sleep.

"Do I want to live in a family? Or do I just want to live single?"
I should consider beforehand: 

What I want to do are "those”, and what I need the most are "these". But then, they have to be done in "this way", so I can keep my comfortable living.

"Do I want to continue creating my artworks? Or do I want to live a steady life?" I know how to keep both steady.

This is my resilience.
In a tamely tough way, I am going to tell the facts.

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