Isolation: the complete or near-complete separation of an individual from society, a social group, or outside contact

As I write…well type this, I don’t remember what the audio is about and I’ll check after I am done typing this up. That is how isolation begins. It begins with an innocent I’ll get to it later then grows into a projected lack of care.

Projected onto friends, family, coworkers, associates… etcetera.

Isolation isn’t always intentional or at least doesn’t start out that way. I found myself isolated after getting married and again after getting a divorce. Neither isolation was the same; I still struggle with thoughts from that time of why?

Why did I need to be isolated? This should have been a time of people coming together or gaining a new sense of community but it wasn’t. In one sense I was expected and assumed that I would not go out again and while the spouse could. Believe me I attempted on a couple of occasions and both were different in a sense.

Almost as if I was attempting an experiment to see which was worse.

After my divorce I was left out of gatherings by my married friend intentionally. She didn’t feel I would fit in with her friends that were married. I was soon put on a schedule.

I didn’t have other friends in the area and it was difficult making adult friends when you have kids, emotional baggage, and being drained - at least it was for me.

Without wanting to repeat myself as to why I don’t have friends, I stayed in the house or ventured out solo in another city collecting interim friendships in strangers. It worked out but it wasn’t what I wanted.

I was accustomed to visiting friends home or them coming to my place or maybe a outing. Everything changed so fast for me that it was hard to adjust. And having to readjust so much left me feeling that sitting alone was better. It was less emotionally and physically consuming. There are no strange looks wondering was there something wrong with me because I suddenly became tearful from grief.

I don’t know. In way being more communal would help deter most of this. Just requires us to be more nosey but in a helpful way.

Take care.

- Mookie💜

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