You know that moment when the room’s too bright, your shirt feels wrong, and someone dares to talk to you before caffeine? Yeah, that’s not a personality flaw—that’s stress.

This week, we’re diving into what’s really draining us (spoiler: it’s not always what you think) with help from the Self-Reg framework by Dr. Stuart Shanker.

Timestamps:00:00 – Intro silliness and fake-out ending

00:34 – Real intro: Welcome back to Safely Divergent!

01:12 – Who is Dr. Stuart Shanker and what is Self-Reg?

02:40 – What is stress actually? It’s not just “feeling overwhelmed.”
05:00 – Explaining the 5 domains of stress
06:55 – Biological domain: sensory, nutrition, sleep, and movement
09:45 – Emotional domain: recognizing and recovering from emotions
12:20 – Cognitive domain: mental load, executive functioning
15:05 – Social domain: the pressure of people-ing
18:10 – Prosocial domain: empathy fatigue and “being the helper” stress
20:35 – Real-life examples of subtle stress
24:50 – Why naming stressors changes everything
27:00 – How Self-Reg helps us pause judgment and get curious
30:15 – Wrap-up, quotes, and one last shoutout to Dr. Shanker

Resources & Mentions:

• Stuart Shanker’s Self-Reg website

• Dr. Shanker’s book: Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

• Follow us on Instagram @safelydivergent