Epic Exchanges

In some way, we have all experienced something that has left us broken.  Nobody is immune. Many of the people you come across each day could very well have walked through something just as challenging.  Or are doing so right now. 

While your experiences may be different from anyone else you might know, that doesn’t necessarily make them worse – or better.  Just different.  But it’s because of these difficulties and experiences that we learn something about ourselves and we generally come out stronger, wiser and, ultimately, better than before.

Exchange Quotes:

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” – Ernest Hemingway

“We are all wonderful, beautiful wrecks.  That’s what connects us – that we’re all broken, all beautifully imperfect.” – Emilio Estevez

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Bruises recorded by Train

Broken and Beautiful recorded by Kelly Clarkson

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Sometimes, the smallest, unrelated things can crack open up a piece of us that we didn’t know needed healing – a piece that is integral to our story – to our ultimate healing and ability to move forward. 

These things can show up unexpectedly and be triggered my all kinds of experiences.  Perhaps someone else’s story, perhaps a book or a television show or a movie.  Sometimes a passing comment by a friend or even an overheard conversation between strangers.

Exchange Quotes:

“There is a crack in everything.  That’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen

“Bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open because the world needs you open.” – Rebecca Campbell

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Stress as we know it today is actually derived from the word distress and refers to great pain, anxiety, sorry, bother, worry or trouble – either physical or mental in nature and our body’s response to these charged situations.

In most of the westernized world today stress has become an epidemic with approximately 75% of adults between the ages of 20 and 64 reporting some level of stress – and somewhere between 25 and 35% reporting extreme stress on a regular basis.  This is so prevalent that the World Health Organization has declared stress as THE health epidemic of the 21st century. 

Exchange Quotes:

“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” – Fred Rogers

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” – Fred Rogers

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” – William James

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When we hear the word reunion, we think about school reunions – either high school or college/university; we think about family reunions, maybe even reunions of the casts of our favourite television shows.  Some we think of more fondly than others – and some maybe come with a level of anxiety or tension because of difficult memories or relationships or maybe feeling as though we haven’t accomplished quite what we wanted or we don’t look the same as we did. So why do we even go? 

Exchange Quotes:

“But every memory of friendship shared, even for a short time, is a treasure, like sunshine and warmth in our lives, like a cool breeze on a humid day, like a shower of rain refreshing the earth.” - Unknown

“When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me.” - Frederick Buechner 

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What does it mean to be present?  At its most basic, it means that your awareness is completely centered on the here and now.  You are not worrying about the future, or thinking about the past.  It means you have your focus, your attention, your thoughts and your feelings – all your energy – on what is happening in the here and now.  If you are having a conversation, then your focus is on the person you are with and what they are saying.  If you are at work, you are completely dedicated to the task in front of you in that moment.  

Exchange Quotes:

“The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

“If you must look back, do so forgivingly.  If you must look forward, do so prayerfully.  However, the wisest things you can do is be present in the present.  Gratefully.”  Maya Angelou

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We all have expectations – both for ourselves and our future and also for others and their behaviour or reactions towards us.  And when we place expectations around wanting our own stories to ‘measure up’ to one someone else shared or be as impactful or whatever we tell ourselves it NEEDS to be – then we set ourselves up for either never being ready to share or always feeling that our story – or stories aren’t good enough to share. That’s the problem with having expectations – we set ourselves up for a fall or for disappointment.

Exchange Quotes:

“When one’s expectations are reduced to zero, one really appreciates everything one does have.” Stephen Hawking

“Turn your expectations into appreciation and your whole life will change.” – Tony Robbins

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One of the biggest stumbling blocks we face when coming to terms with our own stories is a pervasive undercurrent of guilt.  Many of the events in our lives – particularly the difficult ones – come with a lot of self-judgment.  Of the things we could or should have done or said to ensure a different outcome.  Of the words we left unsaid before a loved ones passing.  Of the calls we didn’t make to mend a broken relationship with a friend.  When the guilt is there under the surface, it makes finding and claiming the lesson in our story more difficult.  And we get stuck in a never-ending circle.

Exchange Quotes:

“True guilt is guilt at the obligation one owes to oneself to be oneself.  False guilt is guilt felt at not being what other people feel one ought to be or assume that one is.” R.D. Laing

“Guilt arises out of your past beliefs.  But beliefs are merely acquired ideas.  There is not ultimate truth to a belief.  This simple understanding liberates you of guilt.” - Sen

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The desire to be perfect not only traps and burdens us with stress, it can often keep us from moving forward with our goals and dreams.  And often we get ‘stuck’ in finding and telling our own stories because we want to find the perfect words or the perfect way to tell it. Then we keep putting it off – procrastinating – or even continually comparing our stories to those of others and feeling that we’re just not good enough.  Well that’s just not true.  Let’s talk about this idea of perfection.

Exchange Quotes:

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best.  Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it’s a shield.” – Brené Brown

“Don’t let perfectionism become an excuse for never getting started.” – Marilu Henner

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Exchange #10 – The Authentic You

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There are all kinds of struggles in life – emotional, physical, financial, relational – add your own to the list.  But there are also lessons in these struggles.  Lessons that we can take from our own difficulties to help others so they don’t have to flounder the same way we did – or even to give them the added encouragement to keep going through the hard times.

Today’s guest, Cara Czarnecki, was a single mom, struggling to make ends meet while trying to keep any financial worry or fear from having an effect on her children. She shares her own story with us and how it inspired her to help others.

Exchange Quotes:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” – Bill Gates

Exchange Links:

Cara’s Website

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We all go through difficult times in our lives.  Times where we struggle to see anything positive in our situation, where even sometimes that proverbial ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ is so faint we doubt that it is there. Times where all we want to do is find an answer to whatever our current problem might be – and sometimes, that answer takes us somewhere even more difficult.

Today’s guest, Jessica Pumple, faced a time like this in her life as well.  And when she made it out of that dark place, it helped her find her passion.

Exchange Quotes:

“Sometimes we fall down because there’s something we’re supposed to find.” - Unknown

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” – Bernice Johnson Reagon

Exchange Links:

 Jessica’s Website

Jessica on YouTube

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