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episode 051 - why 'putting yourself out there' isn't working (and what to do instead)
You've been doing everything right—the apps, the events, saying yes to every invite—and you're exhausted. What if the advice to "put yourself out there" is actually making things worse?
This week we're talking about the difference between being available and being magnetic, why effort and outcome aren't always correlated in relationships, and when strategic retreat might be the smarter move for your dating life and your friendships.
We're also covering: when you actually should be putting yourself out there, how to know if you're strategically retreating or just avoiding, and what it looks like to let yourself be found instead of constantly seeking.
In this episode:
- Why "putting yourself out there" has become a moral imperative (and why that's a problem)
- The difference between depletion disguised as action and genuine effort
- How to know when you're performing availability instead of cultivating magnetism
- A permission slip to pause the apps, the coffee dates, and the networking events
- What it means to exist fully in your actual life
--
want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue
want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]
have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority
💘
SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority
INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/
TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority
YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority
subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘
youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO
spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn
apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2
THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/
💘
catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel
instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/
tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau
youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline
OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau
OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau
💘
View all episodes
By Shantel RousseauYou've been doing everything right—the apps, the events, saying yes to every invite—and you're exhausted. What if the advice to "put yourself out there" is actually making things worse?
This week we're talking about the difference between being available and being magnetic, why effort and outcome aren't always correlated in relationships, and when strategic retreat might be the smarter move for your dating life and your friendships.
We're also covering: when you actually should be putting yourself out there, how to know if you're strategically retreating or just avoiding, and what it looks like to let yourself be found instead of constantly seeking.
In this episode:
- Why "putting yourself out there" has become a moral imperative (and why that's a problem)
- The difference between depletion disguised as action and genuine effort
- How to know when you're performing availability instead of cultivating magnetism
- A permission slip to pause the apps, the coffee dates, and the networking events
- What it means to exist fully in your actual life
--
want to book a coaching session? all the info is here - https://squ.re/45jq3ue
want to partner w/The Sage Sorority Podcast? let’s chat - [email protected]
have a question? send in an (anonymous) one for Q&A - https://tellonym.me/thesagesorority
💘
SUBSTACK// https://open.substack.com/pub/thesagesorority
INSTAGRAM// https://www.instagram.com/thesagesorority/
TIKTOK// https://www.tiktok.com/@thesagesorority
YOUTUBE// https://www.youtube.com/@TheSageSorority
subscribe to The Sage Sorority Podcast + leave a (cheeky) 5* rating 💘
youtube: http://bit.ly/45ei8wO
spotify: https://spoti.fi/4iVPAhn
apple: https://bit.ly/41ZNwO2
THE SAGE SORORITY PODCAST - https://feeds.captivate.fm/thesagesorority/
💘
catch up with, our founder + host, Shantel
instagram// https://www.instagram.com/shantelrousseau/
tiktok// https://www.tiktok.com/@shantelrousseau
youtube// https://www.youtube.com/@shantelrousseauonline
OUTFITS - ShopMy// https://shopmy.us/shantelrousseau
OUTFITS - LTK// https://www.shopltk.com/explore/shantelrousseau
💘