I want my children to know that I love my wife selfishly, and I believe this is only appropriate way to love anything or anyone.

I know that might sound weird but let me explain. I’m not a fan of the modern day idea of love. Love cannot be unconditional, and I believe it has to be earned. Do not make the mistake, as I did, and think that overall benevolence is the same as love. Treating someone kindly or respectfully doesn’t mean that you love them, it means that you have self-esteem and you value other human life.

Love, to me, means the spiritual payment in responses to the values I love. Meaning I love my wife because she embodies those values and sense of life that I value. I love her selfishly, meaning being with her brings me immense joy.

I don’t love her for the things that she does for me (of which she does a lot) and I don’t love her because she needs me - I love her for who she is, her sense of life and her values.

-Dr. K