Today's guest is Corinne Fay from Substack newsletter, Big Undies. Corinne is also the co-host of the Indulgence Gospel with Virginia Sole-Smith, and the creator of SellTradePlus. We have a chat about her love of denim shirts, creating community online, and the importance of letting go of perfectionism so we can have fun with clothing.

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

You're listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe everyone has style. Through conversations with inspiring guests, we explore how to tune into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully.

Today's guest is Corinne Fay from Substack newsletter, Big Undies. Corinne is also the co-host of the Indulgence Gospel with Virginia Sole-Smith, and the creator of SellTradePlus. Corinne, welcome to the show.

Corinne: Thanks, I'm really excited to be here.

Maureen: Can you tell us a little bit about SellTrade Plus specifically and the gap that you are hoping to address by starting that platform?

Corinne: Yeah, so I started SellTradePlus in, I think it was 2018, a long time ago now. And I was really addicted to a few different resale accounts on Instagram. But I was like, I was feeling like I was seeing... Dozens if not hundreds of posts for stuff that wasn't in my size for every one that was in my size. And I also felt like there were certain things that like I needed to be able to buy clothes in that way, such as like garment measurements that weren't always there. And I was also thinking, like, if I went to a thrift store and I were shopping for myself, I would just go, I would walk in the door, I would go straight to the section that was my size. So I was just like, why not have a resale account that's just plus size? So we can kind of narrow in a little bit.

Maureen: And the accounts that you were talking about, were those on social media?

Corinne: Yeah, I was looking at Noihsaf, which used to be strictly Instagram. And, um, there was also, I think there were actually a couple, like, sell/trade slow fashion accounts. Like, I know there was one specifically for Elizabeth Suzanne and maybe a couple others. I was just going to say I was like. I really liked those spaces and I liked the community, but I just kind of felt like I could maybe narrow down a little bit.

Maureen: I wanted to start our conversation today with that topic because I think it can be really hard to understand or explain for someone who isn't familiar with being excluded by secondhand shopping or availability of your size. I think it can be really hard to understand like just how real that issue is and I just wanted to really set the stage. Anyone can struggle with their body image and there's like no hierarchy of who can experience that. But when it comes to actually being able to find the clothing that you want to wear, there are some very real challenges if you live in a larger body. And I was just wondering if you could like share any of your experience with that and, and maybe on the optimistic side, you know, have you been able to set out or have you been able to accomplish any of the goals that you set out to with that platform, being able to, uh, create more of that community that you're looking for?

Corinne: Yeah, I mean, I think the biggest and best part of SellTradePlus for me has been the community aspect. Like, I feel like there are so many people that I'm just, like, friends with now, you know? I mean, as... As much as you can be with people from the internet, but um, yeah, and I have, I've also, like, met people in real life through SellTradePlus. Like, I have a little group of friends here that, uh, We'll meet up, like, a couple times a year to do, like, in-person plus size clothing swaps. And a lot of those people I found through SellTradePlus. Um, but yeah, it is, like, a huge challenge. Um... Yeah, it's definitely not over. And I also... This is maybe not exactly what you're asking, but I think there can be so much sort of, like, perfectionism and moralism around, like, shopping in the correct way, like, only buying... Yeah, only buying secondhand or only buying from, like, small ethical businesses. And, like, for me, in my body, like, it's just not always realistic.

Especially because, like, so many of... Those brands, like, you also can't try on, and even if they do offer expanded sizes, sometimes, like, they don't have the budgets to, like, test them on a whole variety of plus-size bodies, so it's just, like... It's a real challenge, and I think the sort of perfectionism aspect, like, doesn't really do us any favors.

Maureen: With that in mind, how, how have you handled that perfectionist mindset? I mean, I know we're all work in progress, but is there anything that you do to navigate that, that perfectionism?

Corinne: I mean, it's a constant challenge. I just try to like give myself grace in the same way that I would like someone, you know, a friend, someone I like and care about. I think we're all just doing the best we can out here. And just knowing, like, we're just doing what we can.

Maureen: Yeah, I feel the exact same way. I mean, I think what I'm trying to do with Intuitive Style is really highlight that there's no right way to dress or participate in slow fashion. There's no right or wrong way to dress, period. I think, yeah, just trying to move away from that perfectionism and I think a lot of that comes from this place of, like, self-compassion, like what you were just saying about, you know, treating yourself like how you might treat a friend totally resonates with me. I think it's a really good way to go.

Corinne: I feel like similar to dieting and diet culture, the thing that that kind of removes from eating and food is the joy element. A lot of we can get from style and fashion and clothes is joy and pleasure and like, fun and novelty. And so if we restrict ourselves in this way of only shopping from the right places or in the right ways….I think we have to leave room for the ability to have fun with it.

Maureen: I'd love to hear more about that because I've listened to quite a few episodes of Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith. There seems to be a real strong theme of seeing diet culture in so many different aspects of popular culture and I was just wondering if you could share a little bit about kind of how that theme arose, and what, what you think about that?

Corinne: So I also host the Burnt Toast podcast with Virginia Sole-Smith. And I think, I feel like she's really, you know, the expert and the person who has come up with the framing of, like... Is XYZ a diet in a lot of ways? I think it's just like we're talking about kind of like it's, it's the way that perfectionism can kind of like pervade all aspects of our lives. And I think, I sort of think of diet culture as like being under the perfectionism umbrella, like it's kind of like one part of that. And I think a lot of other people have sort of like identified that as being like under an even greater umbrella of like. White supremacy or like capitalism, you know, like all this stuff kind of goes hand in hand. But yeah, I, I, I think for me, it's complicated. It's like, how do you hold it? Multiple true things at the same time. Like, it's true, like, fast fashion is bad for the world. And, like, I do want to be able to, like, have fun with clothes sometimes.

Maureen: Yeah. Yeah. It's hard. I know, and it's so, it's so much easier to write, uh, you know, a post about fast fashion is bad, like, end of story. And I think it's so much easier to write that. And then it's so much more difficult to bring nuance to that. Going back to Substack a little bit, one of... my favorites of your posts on Big Undies, you touch on exclusion within fashion Substack and specifically how the most popular writers on the platform linked to high-end fashion with limited size offerings. So can you talk a little bit more about, you know, how you decided to write that post and, you know, how you feel about it today?

Corinne: Yeah, I kind of sat with that post for a while because I was really feeling like I wanted to like quantify what I was feeling in a way like I was feeling like I'm following all these people who are like talking about really cool clothes I love what they're talking about and like none of it is for me basically. But I was also like, am I just, like, do I just have a really narrow, like, am I just not finding the right people or, you know, like, am I missing the links where they're linking to something above a size 10? And, I don't think I was missing that for the most part. Um, but yeah, I don't know. It's a hard feeling.

Like, I feel like there's a part of me that, like, Just wants to know what cool people like. Like, I just wanna be in the know and like, know what- Other people are doing. And then there's part of me that's like, I want to completely block this out and ignore it. Because like, none of this is for me. So I, again, I think it's just a balance of like, figuring out what what you can take and what you need to sort of, like, ignore.

I don't feel like a ton has changed since I posted that, but I did, I did get like really nice responses for the most part. I’m curious how you feel about that?

Maureen: I mean, reading it was just incredible, and I guess I should clarify, I would say that I'm in like a mid-sized body, so I definitely am not on the extreme end, but they're... I also very much relate, like, if there are three sizes in something, it will not fit me, probably. Um, you know, like, I wear, like, an extra large, like, a sixteen kind of vibe. Yeah. And you know, especially the thing that like drives me absolutely insane, is some brands that I try are too big and then some brands that I try I wouldn't fit into the larger size. And I'm like, make it make sense, because, you know, human bodies, like we're on a spectrum and there's like this big gap between like straight sizing and then plus sizing. And I happen to be right in that gap.

And, you know, it's just trying to get back to with the high end stuff in particular, I really relate to loving that aesthetic. But so many of those brands specifically like the more high end they are, the more restricted their size options are and so. What maybe I would be able to fit into like a fourteen at Gap, for example, I would absolutely not be able to do at like a really high-end brand. All I know is that like my personal experience is that this is hard and and I can't really relate when people are like….the thing that drives me so insane is when I see someone say like, “thrifting: you can find anything you could ever possibly want thrifting.” And I'm like, just because you have found what you want thrifting does not mean that everyone can. And so I think that's one of the things that really drew me to your Substack and podcast is just this idea of like, okay, I might not be able to relate to every experience that you're having. And I would say that shopping for me is probably easier. And, I acknowledge that. But it's also like not as easy as some other people have it so, I don't know I just think it's, it's, it's so confusing and I hate that brands do this. They make us, like, fit ourselves into a box, into a size, and either we're standard or we're plus or we're not, and it's like, I'm not any of those things.

Corinne: What you're saying makes me think of also, like, I feel like now there's all these high-end brands that make, like, really oversized stuff. Like, I wrote about Toteme. I've seen some other ones where it's, like... There's occasionally would be a thing that could fit me, but I'm like, why can you not just make…. you're making huge clothes for really small people, like, why can you not just make huge clothes for huge people? Help me out here.

I do sometimes feel like I am like, In an extreme place because like I'm sort of like a 4X-ish so like often even if a brand stops at like size twenty-four it might not be big enough for me. And then I recommend a lot of stuff that like goes up to 4X and then like I recently got a message from someone who was like, yeah, I'm a 5x and a ton of the stuff you recommend doesn't work and it's just like, oh, there's like so many layers and like. There's always someone that it's harder for and someone that it's, like, a little bit easier for.

Maureen: It's so crazy, too, because ultimately, like, I don't want to be... Like jealous of or in competition with anybody else right and yeah because these sizes are are set up the way they are and they have these. Arbitrary cutoffs. It just feels like so complicated. Yeah. Just so complicated. And then. And I think, um, so Sushmita of Ethical Fat Fashion, she's also talked about wanting to wear things that fit her body, but then also, are we comfortable with wearing something that technically fits us but isn't for us? And I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to that question. And I think it just kind of depends on how you might feel about a particular garment and just, you know, is that on your mind or is it not?

Corinne: Then alternately, like, sometimes even the stuff that is made to fit you doesn't, so it's like, just like a catch-22. Yeah, yeah, so then it's kind of like….

Maureen: I don't remember, did you end up keeping the Toteme shirt?

Corinne: I didn't, and honestly, I sort of regret it. I've definitely, like, had my eye out to see if I can, like, find one used. I think it was like they had, like, extra small, small, medium, or large, and I think I had gotten the medium, so I was like, ooh, I might rather have the large. I also just struggle with the actual cost of that, but.

Maureen: Right, right, right. Yeah, cost. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah, I mean, if you could find it on, on, Sell Trade Plus.

Corinne: Yeah. That would be great. Yeah, I definitely, I have my eye out, but I don't know.

Maureen: Let's talk about how you decide what to buy and wear, given these different constraints….At the end of the day, you seem to have a really, like, editorial, high fashion kind of aesthetic, like, I mean, no, am I wrong?

Corinne: Oh my gosh, I don't know. I think that's funny.

Maureen: Oh, okay. Well, correct me. Please, please correct me. How do you view your personal style?

Corinne: No, I'm very flattered. I feel like I have a more like, um... I usually, I think I have kind of like a utilitarian style. I don't know. Yeah, that's true. I really like to be comfortable. I feel like I wear a lot of kind of like oversize-y stuff. Um, but I, I appreciate that.

Maureen: I mean, all I would say is like, you can be very utilitarian and have absolutely no idea what Toteme is. And so I think you might, your personal style, what you wear might be a little more utilitarian, but like from an outside perspective, like what I see you talking about and how you want to be like in the know is I think that sets you apart even if it doesn't necessarily, like, reflect in what you wear. I think that sensibility and how you style [your clothes] and what you're surrounding yourself by, I mean, to me, I see that at least, so.

Corinne: Yeah, that's true. And I do think, like, I'm saying on the one hand, I like... Comfortable clothes. I like utilitarian clothes. And also, like, I would not love to have a closet full of sweatpants, you know? Right. So, like, I think I do kind of, like, go back and forth between, like, comfortable utilitarian stuff and also stuff that feels more... Exciting.

Maureen: What's exciting to you right now?

Corinne: I am always, like, forever unendingly excited about, like, denim shirts. I just, like, cannot. I mean, the, that was the Toteme thing. Like, I….If see a denim shirt, I want it. And that could be a really utilitarian thing or it could be An $800 Toteme jacket. It's one of those things I feel I could probably wear it every day. But yeah, like I know you also just wrote about this sort of like breadth / depth thing. [Referencing Angie Uh’s post “Breadth vs Depth”]. Like, how, how many denim shirts can I have and how can I sort of, like, differentiate between them?

Maureen: How do you decide what to place an order on?

Corinne: Yeah. It's not easy, but... It's not easy… I've been someone in the past who shopped very, like, impulsively. Um, like, I see something, I want it, I have the money in my account, I buy it. And I think I'm trying to sort of like, take more of a broad look like okay yes I have six different denim shirts like I like this one do I need to have it. And I think I'll also just say I think part of that sort of, like, the impulsiveness has to do with, like, being in a larger body and not have- like, I- I think sometimes I just want to try something on, you know, and like, I don't have the opportunity to do that in real life very often, so it's like... Am I buying this just because I want to try it on? And not that that's not a valid reason. Like, I think trying on clothes is important. Like, uh, you know, it's a way of, like, experimenting. But, um, if you're buying it just to try it on and you can't return it, then it's, like, a little bit different.

I try to think about what else I have in my closet that it's similar to or different from. And definitely also think about price. Like, you know, is this a $17 shirt? Is this a $250 shirt? I like to look at what things are made out of. Um, I do try to stay a little bit away from polyester except for athletic wear.

I also like to look at how you wash something. Because I'm like, I'm never gonna dry clean. Just not gonna do it.

Maureen: How do you like your clothes to fit? You know, I think some people are really into, like, kind of slouchy oversized. Some people are into fitted. Uh, you know, there's also, like, the... The feeling aspect of like, you know, you mentioned not liking polyester, you know, of course there's like sustainability questions around that, but then also potentially comfort. Like, how do you think about fit and feel?

Corinne: I definitely like more oversized stuff, especially on top, I think. I really like a baggy shirt. Pants, I can, you know, have a little more flexibility. Um... Yeah, I find a lot of polyester stuff, like, I don't really like the feeling of it. Although there is some stuff, like, I have some polyester... Like, legging, gym wear stuff that I do think feels nice. Like, it's really soft.

Maureen: We love nuance.

Corinne: I know. One thing I do try to think about sometimes when I'm trying on clothes is before I look in the mirror or take a picture of myself wearing it, I will try to think like, how does this feel? Physically, like, how does the waistband feel? How is the fabric soft? You know, just like, try to tune into your body before you think about how it looks. Not always easy. I do think sometimes uh, it's hard to get like an idea of how something will feel after you wear it for a long time.

Maureen: I love that tip and I try to do that too just putting it on feeling it before welcoming the visual aspect. What about that is difficult sometimes you said it's not always easy?

Corinne: I think sometimes how something feels doesn't line up with how it looks. I just did this like Nettle Studio try on and one of the shirts I tried on is it's called the soft volume shirt. It's like just a long-sleeve denim button up. But the sides are cut like really high. So when I first put it on, I was like, whoa, this, this really feels weird. Like, why is the side of the shirt so short? Uh, and I was like, I don't think I like this. But then when I looked at it, I was like, oh, it, I, I like how it looks, you know? So I do think sometimes there's like a disconnect or like, um. Even stuff like tucking in your shirt or something, a lot of people like to do the, like, millennial tuck or whatever. Do you like how that feels? Because I think, I don't think I do, usually. Like, if I start, if I do that, it's usually because I'm like, oh, I think this looks better. And then as soon as I sit down to, like, work at my desk or something, I untuck it.

Maureen: That's so fair. Yeah. So, you were talking about, we were talking about ordering clothes just to try them on and I just want to super validate, like, that is so fair and I do that too. And... Friend of the Pod, Dacy Gillespie posted a whole Substack post about how to bring the dressing room to you through online shopping. And I think I'd already kind of had that mindset of like, that's what I'm doing. For whatever reason, reading her stylist take on that was like very validating to me that. It's totally fair, especially if you can't go to a store and try stuff on that, like, in your size. It's so fair to want to order things just to try them on, especially, if you can return them, as we were saying, it's different if we can't.

You just have to think about that slightly differently, but I don't know, it just, like, to me, it's been such a big process, like, I just ordered, like, four pairs of pants from Banana Republic. And I don't feel great about shopping Banana Republic for, like, so many reasons. Like, the name is, like, really racist.

Corinne: True, yeah.

Maureen: I've gotten to the store and I can't find my size like the biggest that they have in stores of thirty-two and I'm like a thirty-three or thirty-four depending on the brand so I like ordered online mostly because there were so many different types that I could try so many different like cuts in lengths that I wanted to try and I figured that that would work. So, I'm bringing the dressing room to me for that and we'll see what happens. I definitely relate to that, you know, reality and how we have to kind of give ourselves permission to do stuff like that. Otherwise, you know, we can't really... I don't know, there's, we have to just, like, settle, I guess. Yeah. Which doesn't feel good, so. I know, it sucks, there's just not a good solution, and, like, it's not our personal fault.

Corinne: I also have found it really help when like, when I do that, if I order stuff where I'm like, probably not going to keep it all. A lot of times I find it helpful to take photos when I'm trying stuff on because then you can also, like, refer back, like, to be like, oh, yeah, I ordered from Banana Republic last year and I got this size and, like, that's how they fit. Like, even if you send it back, then you have the... The try-on photos?

Maureen: Totally, totally. And then if you wanted to try to find it secondhand, you have a better idea of what size you might be, and it's really hard to, to know that, especially when so many of the platforms that we can buy secondhand on are non-returnable. Although I guess. Totally. Erika Veurink from Long Live keeps saying that most things on eBay are refundable.

Corinne: Yeah. I have seen that, I have noticed that some stuff on eBay has, like, there's usually a return policy listed, so at least you know whether it's returnable or not. I haven't experienced that yet, but maybe, maybe this year.

Maureen: Let's talk about how your style has evolved over the years. Have you gone through any memorable phases?

Corinne: Ugh, I read this question and I was like, I really want to think of a memorable face. You can say you don't have any. I really can't. I couldn't think of one. I mean, I feel like they're... Maybe like memorable, like clothes I've had at certain times in my life. But I feel like I never had like a like goth phase or something. Although I wish I did.

Maureen: It’s not too late!

Corinne: I know, thank you, yes. I was also thinking, like, when I was really young, like, I don't know, eight or something, I, like, I... I picked out like pink tights and like these like beige or cream colored like denim shorts and I was really excited about that look so.

Maureen: Actually, that kind of reminds me, I've seen, I mean, I personally hate. And I know that you talk about tights actually quite a bit on Big Undies. I don't know if I'm, if I'm mistaken, but I would just love to talk more about like tights and especially like, you know, hearing that that's something you wear as a kid and then You know, when I think about that more utilitarian aesthetic, I don't associate tights. So like, how do those fit together for you?

Corinne: Yeah, I mean, I should say I feel like I actually don't wear tights now. I think on Big Undies, someone wrote in and was, like, kind of looking for plus-size type Rex.

Maureen: Gotcha.

Corinne: I do also think, I think... Like, people are wearing tights in a much cooler way than they were when I was wearing tights. Like, I really like the, like, tights under jeans thing where then you have, like, a colored sock. I don't really wear dresses now, so I don't have a lot of tights. But I did like tights for a lot of my life and I think part of it is kind of like sensory like the slight compression and also like but no, like, restriction. Like, it's easy to move around in tights, you know, like, leggings kind of. Um, but I know a lot of people hate how they feel too, so...

Maureen: Yeah, and our preferences can change over time. Yeah, that's fair. Okay, yeah, I, I, I did, I remember you saying that you, um, you don't really wear dresses anymore and, you know, fair. I feel like dresses are, like, not super cool right now.

Corinne: Oh, interesting. I mean, not in the way that they were, like, in the 2010s. I feel like everybody was wearing…there’s been so many different variations, but I feel like... A cool dress today to me is like a 90s dress, like a mini dress or something, or maybe still like a slip dress for some people, but like. A lot of people were wearing, like, boho kind of dresses. And then, I don't know, I just feel like there was, like, a 10-year period where it was, like... I was wearing a dress every single day or like just dresses were like everywhere and I feel like everybody on like fashion Substack these days is like big pants. I don't know. I, I, do you, am I wrong? Please call me out.

Corinne: I don't know if you're wrong. I think, I feel like I see a lot of those kind of like frilly collared dresses on like Instagram. True, true. Yeah, I also feel like I haven't quite untangled whether for me, like, it's like, is not wearing dresses like an age thing. Like, I'm, I think I'm older than you. I'm thirty-nine. But like whether as I've gotten older I've just felt less like inclined towards dresses or whether it's like a gender thing like I feel like I've headed in a more like androgynous fashion direction or If it's like something else, like a practical thing, like it just doesn't feel as, like I feel less like safe having my. Lower half exposed or something. But I thought a lot about, like, is there a dress I would wear? And I feel like I do often, like, I like... Looking at dresses, I'm always like, oh, that's so cool. But it's like the would I wear it? Probably not. So and then yeah, I like this theory that maybe dresses are just less cool to everyone or to like fashion people.

Maureen: Living in the Bay Area, uh, it's not super functional to wear a dress because it's, like, really windy. And probably over the summer I'll wear dresses, but, like, in San Francisco, there's seldom occasion where a dress makes sense. I was just talking about this with my co-worker yesterday. It's like, it's just not really like a vibe, you know, you just legs are always cold, but it's like too sunny to wear black tights for me. Complicated thoughts on dresses. The only dress that I have on my maybe wish list but I probably won't buy is that little utility dress from Noble.

Corinne: Oh, yeah.

Maureen: Do you know that one? It's so cute. It's so cute. Yeah. But I, I probably am not gonna buy it. It's just like, I like it. And if I was going to wear a mini dress, it would be that, but I'm probably not.

Corinne: Well, they do have, they have like a similar looking jumpsuit, right?

Maureen: They do. You're right. You're right. I feel like it's doesn't come in a the right inseam for me. They, they run on the kind of shorter side and I just, I hate when like my entire ankle is exposed. I guess I could wear tall socks, but like…

Corinne: You could wear tights under it.

Maureen: Yes, you're so right.

Corinne: Yeah. Um, I saw this, I feel like it was like this fall Misha and Puff. Do you know that brand? They're, like, a knitwear brand. They had, like, a long, I think it was, like, wool. It was almost, like, a coat, like, of, like, maxi length dress that just looked like a long wool coat and I was like, oh, I do kind of like that. But they don't make my size, so...

Maureen: Oh, no, I thought you were gonna say it was inclusive. I was like, I'm so excited.

Corinne: No, I just saw the photos and was like, I will save that to think about. Yeah, yeah, like, uh, can I find this in my size something?

Maureen: So, we're recording this towards the start of 2025. I realize that we're almost at the end of... February, but it feels like this last two months has been like a minute and also like a year. So do you have any style or personal goals that you're excited to work towards this year?

Corinne: Yeah, I did kind of make some commitments to myself at the beginning of the year around like fashion stuff. I'm trying to track my clothes buying. Like, I'm not saying I'm only gonna buy this many things or I'm only gonna spend this much money, but I would like to have a better idea of how many things I am buying or how much money I am spending. Just cause like we talked about in the past, I've just sort of been like, if I want it and I have the money, I'll buy it.

Also, I'm not using Amazon that's, I mean, I was not buying clothes on Amazon, but um, yeah, this year I'm just trying to sort of cut some of those big corporations out, as I think a lot of people are. Um, and I'm also trying, I'm trying not to buy multiples of things. I think one thing I realized is... I don't need to be doing that. Both the thing where I'll, like, I'll do, I'll both buy an exact another version of something I like or I'll buy this, that thing in, like, a different color. Um, and I'm just trying to, like, be like, it's okay if you can't wear your most favorite pants right now because they're in the wash. Like, they'll be out of the wash in two days or you can wear them dirty. Because I feel like in the long term it's like you always end up getting rid of one or both of them so and yeah just also in terms of that like depth versus breadth thing like I think it's a little more satisfying to have something else.

And then the other thing that's maybe a sort of longer term thing is I'm sort of trying to think about, like, redoing my closet infrastructure.

Maureen: Ooh!

Corinne: I live in a very old house that has very small closets and... Right now I just have a metro rack which is like a wire kitchen storage rack shoved into the closet and I like fold everything on there and It's not a good system. So longer term, I would like to think about, like, having someone build shelves or put in some kind of, like, hanging rack. But I'm not, like, 100% sure that'll happen this year. But definitely something I would like to...

Maureen: Yeah, what's holding you back? That sounds awesome.

Corinne: I mean, money.

Maureen: Okay, fair. Yeah, fair.

Corinne: On the one hand, money. Like, I have no idea what something like that would cost. And I also, like, I kind of want to, like... I feel like I've been in the process of kind of like getting rid of some stuff that I've been holding on to so I kind of want to finish the clear out before I start restructuring things but who knows when that'll happen.

Maureen: What are the kinds of things that you're wanting to let go of? Well, I think I just have a lot of stuff that I wear very rarely and I don't know. Stuff. Clothes. This is something I've like been intending to write about that I haven't written about yet, but I bought a couple of months ago, I bought like a garment rack, like a rolling one. And I've kind of like stuck it in the corner of my room and then when I pull something out of my closet that I'm like, I don't think I wear this, then I'll put it on that. And then it's like, I, it's very, I can see it. And so if I'm like, oh, no, I actually do want to wear it, then I'll just wear it. But otherwise, then I have this rack of stuff that I'm like meaning to get rid of.

And then it feels like the stuff that's in my closet is more like the stuff I'm wearing a lot. Yeah. I also saw, um, I think on Instagram, Marielle Elizabeth. Do you know her?

Maureen: I don't think so.

Corinne: Okay, she's like a amazing plus size influencer person but she has been talking about uh, how she'll put like she'll pick out, like, a number of things to have in her closet and then pack everything else away. Like, sometimes it just feels like you have too much stuff in your closet. So, having, like, kind of, like, rotating... little capsules of stuff you're wearing at a time and then refreshing it at some point.

Maureen: Yeah, totally. That's something I do. I think it's, I think it's great just having fewer things, especially, you know, having only things that fit. I mean, that's just a good place to start. But then also the things that are inspiring you right now, or to your point, pulling out the things that are not inspiring you and seeing if maybe, uh, looking at them more helps clarify. That makes sense to me.

Corinne: I have, like, a black turtleneck and I'm like, that's one of those things that seems like everyone should have. Right. But I'm also never wearing it. So, like, why? I don't need to have this just because I think it's, like, a good thing to have.

Maureen: Fair. Fair. What advice would you give to someone who's trying to build a wardrobe that feels authentic to them?

Corinne: That's a good question. I guess my advice would be like, try to think about it as a journey or like, it's always going to be changing. Like, you're never going to get to a point with your closet where you have everything you want and need nothing. I think that's okay. I think just having some acceptance around the fact that, like, it's gonna change, like, your style will change, trends will change, your body will change, and it's, it's good. That's how it's supposed to be. It's a journey.

Maureen: That's such a good answer.

Corinne: I want to know what your answer is.

Maureen: Oh, my answer! Oh, man. Um, my answer is, yeah, I mean, same. I try not to let this come across too much on my Substack and on the podcast, but I'm kind of leaning towards a minimalist. And so fundamentally, I think we need less than we think we need. I'm not trying to push that agenda if it doesn't fit for other people, but you know, sometimes we don't know what we want until we have it. And you know, I am like, I've had one drink of alcohol for the last like three months and I didn't know that I wanted to be sober until I started and I had, I had a glass of wine the other day and I was like, I don't want that anymore. And, you know, I feel the same thing with, with having fewer pieces of clothing. I really thought that abundance was bringing me joy. And then when I gave myself permission to really reduce down to a much smaller number of things. I was like, this is so much better.

So, sometimes we don't know what we want until we have it, and I think to your point about doing that kind of like capsule-y thing, uh, or even just pulling out a couple things. You know, if those things that you pull out that you want to wear every day are working really well, that'll be very clear that, you know, that lack of abundance isn't necessarily a bad thing. On the flip side of that, if you do try to reduce down to a really small capsule wardrobe and the pieces are completely wrong, that will make it extremely difficult to follow through with. And so I don't think it's like a silver bullet. I don't think it's always appropriate or the best thing to do. But personally, I found fewer things to be more clarifying. Than a whole bunch of things that I had thrifted or whatever, so.

Corinne: Yeah, that really makes, that makes so much sense to me. I've definitely experienced that with, like, traveling sometimes, like, I get back. Yes. And I'm like, wait, why do I have, like. It's just more laundry, you know, like why do I have so many clothes? I just have to wash them all the time.

Maureen: Yes, that is legitimately one of my favorite benefits is that I do a load of whites and a load of darks once a week. And, I do my husband's laundry. I promise he does things for me too, but I like doing our clothes. Because if he messed up my clothes, our relationship would not survive. So I do the laundry. But yeah, I mean, I don't have to do so much of it because I have a few number of things. So that's my take.

Corinne: I love that.

Maureen: Well, this was really fun. Thanks for coming on the pod and where can listeners find you? So you can find me on Substack. My Substack is called Big Undies. You can also find me sometimes on Burnt Toast by Virginia Sole-Smith, which is also a Substack and you can find in podcast players. I’m on Instagram at Selfie Faye. Faye is my last name. F as in Frank, A-Y. I think that's it.

Maureen: Well, thank you. Uh, this was so enjoyable and yeah, I just, I really appreciated getting to talk to you and I hope we can catch up again.

Corinne: Definitely. It was really fun. Thank you.

Outro

Thank you to our guest, Corinne Fay, for joining us today. Thank you to everyone listening at home, and if you enjoyed this episode, please consider Liking, sharing, or subscribing so that you don't miss any future episodes. We do have some pretty exciting guests coming up.

Next week's episode features Laura De Valencia Kirk from La Deeply Shallow here on Substack. I really think you guys are going to love what she has to say and what she has to share.

In case you missed it, Intuitive Style is now available via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Substack, and select episodes are also on YouTube so that you can interact with this podcast in whichever way is most natural to you.

Thanks and see you next week!

Get full access to Intuitive Style at maureenwelton.substack.com/subscribe