Having passed the point of no return, Liu Bei goes a-conquerin’ in the Riverlands.

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Welcome to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms Podcast. This is episode 78.

Hey, guess what? We just passed the midway point of the novel, and guess what? We still don’t have three kingdoms in this Romance of the THREE Kingdoms. But stay with me, because we’re about to take a big step toward that this week.

So last time, we left Liu Bei in a bit of a dicey situation. His plot with Zhang Song to take over the Riverlands leaked out, and Zhang Song lost his head because of it. Not only that, Liu Zhang was — at long last — on to his dear kinsman’s true intentions and ordered his men to strengthen defenses at all the key points.

While this was going on, Liu Bei was putting into action his own plan, which called for pretending that he was leaving the Riverlands. His first stop was going to be Fucheng (2,2), and he sent word on ahead to the two generals defending Fu (2) River Pass that he would like to bid them goodbye before he left.

The two officers, Yang (2) Huai (2) and Gao (1) Pei (4), had long been suspicious of Liu Bei, and they decided that this would be the perfect opportunity to assassinate him. So they each stashed a dagger under their clothes and took 200 men with them to go see Liu Bei.

Meanwhile, as Liu Bei was approaching the Fu (2) River, his military strategist Pang Tong advised him, “If Yang Huai and Gao Pei come to meet us without hesitation, we must be on guard. If they do not come, then we should lay siege to the pass without delay.”

Just then, a strong gust of wind kicked up and blew over the command flag in front of them.

“What does this omen portend?” Liu Bei asked.

“This is a warning,” Pang Tong answered. “Yang Huai and Gao Pei must be harboring thoughts of assassination. We must be vigilant.”

So once again, stupid wind foils a perfectly good plan. Tipped off by Mother Nature, Liu Bei wore a suit of heavy armor and carried his sword. When word came that Yang Huai and Gao Pei had arrived, Liu Bei ordered his army to stop and rest. Pang Tong then secretly told the generals Wei Yan and Huang Zhong, “No matter how many men they are bringing with them, we must not allow a single one to escape.” And the two generals quickly snapped to.

 

So Yang Huai and Gao Pei, along with their 200 men, walked into Liu Bei’s ranks carrying wine and goats as presents. When they saw that Liu Bei had taken no precautions whatsoever, they were secretly delighted. They went into Liu Bei’s tent, where Liu Bei and Pang Tong sat waiting for them.

“Imperial uncle, we heard that you were returning to Jing Province, so we have prepared some meager parting gifts for you,” the two would-be assassins said as they offered wine to Liu Bei.

“Generals, you work hard to defend your pass. This first cup should be for you,” Liu Bei said.

So the two officers drank the wine. Liu Bei then said, “I have a secret matter to discuss with the two generals. Everyone else, leave us.”

So everyone, including the 200 men that Yang Huai and Gao Pei had brought, were escorted away from the tent. As soon as they were gone, Liu Bei shouted, “Men, arrest these two scoundrels!”

Before the last word had left his lips, two of his officers, Liu Feng (1) and Guan Ping (2), stepped out from behind the tent and each grabbed on...