We talk endlessly about our parents. Their marriage, their divorce, their relationship with us, their relationship with each other, but our siblings tend to get a little less air time. This has only become more and more apparent to me. Pretty much every single client I've support over the last few years has had a challenging sibling. From a younger sister with substance abuse issues to a life threatening illness, to simply an older brother who was deemed the "difficult one," such that everyone had to tiptoe around his moods and everything in between. 

In this environment, my clients learned to be easy and accommodating. They became experts at understanding what mitigated their parent's stress and what brought their parents joy. Their mode of operating was driven less by who they actually were or how they actually felt, and more so by working to maintain homeostasis—particularly in contrast to that sibling—within the family. Their identities became a performance.  This type of dynamic has a major trickle down effect on romantic relationships—from who you're attracted to the nature of your relationships and so much more.

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