I Think I Like You

I'm closing the podcast. Not because I ran out of things to say — because I finally have too much to say, and it doesn't fit here anymore. This episode is about the summer I didn't tell you about: the fights, the "you're being emotionally immature" / "no, you are," the two-year-old who broke us open in new ways, and the realization that overfunctioning doesn't disappear when you get the ring and the baby — it just changes costumes. Where I'm headed next: Substack, writing, and a lot more honesty.

This week's episode isn't quite an episode — it's an announcement. I Think I Like You is heading into summer break, and I'm walking you through why, what it means, and exactly where to go if you need me while I'm gone.

I share the decision I've been hemming and hawing over: pausing new episodes until September so I can focus on my clients, get my book off the ground, and be fully present with my 20-month-old firecracker of a son this summer. (Yes, I called it my own version of a dating break — and I mean it.)

If you're new here, don't worry — you're not left hanging. With over 170 episodes already in the archive, there's a lot to work with. So...

• If you want to understand how being an overachiever influences your love life
• If you want to meet people in person this summer
• If you need a dating breather
• If you want to bring more sanity to app dating
• If you’re going through a breakup

I've rounded up dedicated episodes right here.

Self-awareness is supposed to make love easier — so why doesn't it? In this episode of I Think I Like You, Clara explores the paradox so many high-achieving, independent women face: years of personal growth and self-work, but relationships still feel just out of reach. She breaks down why "cocooning" and rest matter before re-entering the dating pool, how avoidance around health, mortality, and intimacy quietly shapes our relationship patterns, and what it really means to move from doing to being in the pursuit of love. If you've ever felt behind in dating despite having your life together everywhere else, this episode offers a different way to think about timing, readiness, and the inner work that actually moves the needle.

Key Topics:

• The paradox of self-awareness and relationship challenges among independent women
• The importance of "cocooning" and self-care before pursuing love actively
• Moving from doing to being in the pursuit of love
• The influence of societal and internal pressures to "catch up" by a certain age
• Strategies to understand genuine desires versus fears-driven actions

Timestamps:

00:00 - Introduction: The high-achiever's paradox in love
00:28 - Self-awareness vs. relationship struggles
01:22 - Embracing summer and prioritizing outside activity
01:48 - The benefits of weightlifting and community classes for mental clarity
02:17 - Juggling parenting, deadlines, and personal growth
02:47 - Inspiration behind the episode: conversations with women in early 30s
03:13 - The desire for independence versus societal pressure to date
03:43 - The importance of knowing yourself in your 30s and beyond
04:12 - Navigating chaotic early 30s and establishing identity outside work
04:41 - The internal conflict: living fully now vs. fear of missing out
05:10 - The challenge of dating apps and perceived "behindness"
05:42 - Balancing enjoying the present with societal expectations
06:09 - The reality of the dating process and emotional avoidance
06:39 - Success story: meeting a partner after healing and reflection
07:35 - The importance of cocooning and self-care before entering the dating scene
08:04 - The power of internal clarity and self-understanding
08:33 - Overcoming the wiring to plan and strategize in emotional intimacy
09:20 - Recognizing avoidance behaviors in dating efforts
09:50 - The different forms of action: doing vs. being
10:17 - Facing fears and disillusionment in dating
10:44 - Common experiences: flaky dates, lingerers, and ghosting
11:27 - Gaining insight through clarity and inner work
11:56 - Personal reflections: health screenings and fears of mortality
12:23 - Confronting avoidance of self-care and life planning
13:15 - Naming fears around mortality and intimacy
14:12 - Moving forward through clarity and action
14:42 - Connecting fears to relationship patterns and living authentically
15:11 - Reflection questions for inner work on relationship fears
16:14 - The timeline of meeting a partner and life stages
16:41 - The benefits of patience and self-knowledge in love
17:29 - The societal pressures of youth and relationship timelines
18:04 - Authentic reasons to pursue love and relationship readiness
18:59 - The significance of inner work over external action

Connect with Clara:

• Instagram
• Website

How to Meet People in Real Life (When You're Done With the Apps)

You're not broken. You're just tired of the apps — and ready for something that actually feels like you.

This episode is part three of a series on in-person dating. (If you haven't listened to Episode 169 — Your Permission Slip to Stop Dating — and Episode 170 — Why You Can't Meet People in Person — start there first.)

In this one, we get into the part nobody talks about: what it actually takes to start seeing romantic possibility in your everyday life. Not a rigid plan. Not a list of places to go. Just a shift in how you're moving through the world — and what you're allowing yourself to want.

We cover:

• Why your beliefs about meeting people are running the show (and how to change them)
• Moving from fantasy to real-life action without forcing it
• How curiosity beats perfectionism every time in dating
• The subtle power of eye contact, small gestures, and letting things unfold
• Why doing the inner work — especially around past relationships — is what actually builds confidence
• How to stop overthinking and start honoring what you desire

Summer is a tender time for this. The stakes feel lower. The opportunities are everywhere — grocery stores, gyms, commutes. This episode is your permission slip to notice them.

If you've ever said "I never meet anyone," "I'm not brave enough to approach someone," or "dating apps just don't work for me" — this episode is going to reframe everything.

Dating coach Clara Artschwager gets personal about the real reason meeting people in person feels impossible: it's not a strategy problem. It's an identity problem — rooted in early experiences of desire, rejection, and shame that most of us have never fully examined.

In this episode, Clara walks you through:

• Why AI dating tools and app shortcuts are making your love life harder, not easier
• The childhood and adolescent moments that quietly shaped your beliefs about desire and desirability
• How your sense of identity determines what you believe you're allowed to experience in love
• A powerful self-reflection exercise to reconnect with the younger version of you who shut down around intimacy
• Why meeting people in person is one of the most effective ways to rewire deep-seated beliefs about relationships

Whether you're burned out on dating apps, struggling to put yourself out there, or just feel like something invisible is keeping you stuck — this episode gets to the root of it.

Part two of a series on meeting people in person and building real-world dating skills.

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Podcast Production by James Jorge

Dating feels harder than ever — and it's not just you. In this episode, I break down why dating burnout is so widespread right now, what AI dating features are actually doing to your ability to connect, and why the solution has nothing to do with finding the right app. If you're exhausted, disenchanted, or quietly wondering whether you even want to be dating right now, this episode is your permission slip to stop, reset, and approach it completely differently. Plus: my honest summer prescription for single women who are ready to feel like themselves again.

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Podcast Production by James Jorge

I didn't know Kerry's name until a few weeks ago, when I, thankfully, caught wind of her soon-to-be-released memoir, Selfish. After reading a brief description of the book, I pre-ordered it and tore through the pages in a week.

Kerry is not just the writer, but the founder of the beloved clothing brand, Faherty. While I adore the brand's pieces hanging in my closet, I'd say I'm even more thrilled to have a dog-eared copy of Kerry's book tucked in my bookshelves. Much is written about marriage these days, but few books pull back the veil with such raw honesty. While Kerry's book is largely a story of self-discovery, personal evolution, and what it looks like for us (as women) to live into our fullest selves, the picture she paints of her marriage is a true gift.

For anyone, at any stage of the relationship journey, I cannot recommend this book enough.

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Podcast Production by James Jorge

These days, I find myself with an insatiable hunger for stories (meaning, real-life human stories) of unexpected outcomes. Of having life go one way when you thought it was going to go another way, and what one does from there. Melissa Russo's story is one of my favorites.

I've followed Melissa since back in our 2010 blogger days. Her biting sense of humor, sharp wit, and talent as a writer has drawn me back to anything she's been doing. Whether it's been capturing the wildly entertaining lives of her two daughters, or launching her boutique social media studio, Golden Hive.

I loved talking to her about the unexpected beauty and pleasure of life post divorce, how she thinks about dating and relationships now, and where she wants her focus to be. 

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Podcast Production by James Jorge

Did you read Strangers? The memoir that blew up....idk, everywhere...over the past few months. Here's the down-and-dirty, which is really not a spoiler alert because it's revealed in the first two pages of the book: Socialite Belle Burden's husband of 20 years, a few days into the pandemic, up and left. And never came back. 

There's obviously more to it, and well worth a read of the book. But why ARE people so obsessed with this book? It's not just because it has a media engine behind it. I had to discuss this, naturally, and did so with my dear friend Cath, who by the way is hosting an AMAZING retreat the June in the Hudson Valley.

Listen to Cath's podcast, The 40 Portal

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Podcast Production by James Jorge

Call it turning 40, call it the state of the world, call it....just life (?), but lately, all I am hungry for is deep, real, can't-put-a-bow-on-it conversations. People living with the big questions, getting deep into the muck, and thriving there. Not always, but often.

You know when you have a good friend, who is just good people, and then they bring more REALLY GOOD PEOPLE into your life? That's how I found my way to Alison Matheny. Alison is a writer, artist, and all-around legit creative. You're gonna wanna check out all the places to find her on the internet below.

But the main reason I wanted to have Alison on was to discuss a reality she lives every day — childless by circumstance. Alison wanted to bear children, and despite desires and intentions, that longing didn't become a reality. Now, at 44, we discuss what life looks and feels like. Yes, this is a conversation about wanting to become a mom and not becoming one — but it's mainly about this: What does one do when the things they wanted and longed for don't come to fruition? Because that, independent of the details, is a reality we will all face.

Alison's Website | Alison's Substack | Alison's Branding Studio

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Podcast Production by James Jorge