Two hardened survivors enter the arena—but only one limps out. In this episode, we put John Rambo and Joel Miller under the microscope (and in the crosshairs). We debate their trauma tolerances and tactical brainpower—and ask the big questions: Is a golf club actually more dangerous than a helicopter? Who should play young Rambo in a prequel? And what’s Joel’s actual body count?

Also featuring butt-crack knives: tactical genius or hygiene nightmare? Plus, if one of us keeps calling him “Pablo Pascal,” does that invalidate his argument?