It’s not April 15, but it’s always tax season when Christian Wolff is in the arena. This week, the meticulous marksman from The Accountant squares off against King Leonidas of 300 in what turned out to be our closest battle yet.

Two hardened survivors enter the arena—but only one limps out. In this episode, we put John Rambo and Joel Miller under the microscope (and in the crosshairs). We debate their trauma tolerances and tactical brainpower—and ask the big questions: Is a golf club actually more dangerous than a helicopter? Who should play young Rambo in a prequel? And what’s Joel’s actual body count?

Also featuring butt-crack knives: tactical genius or hygiene nightmare? Plus, if one of us keeps calling him “Pablo Pascal,” does that invalidate his argument?

What happens when a bronze-age war god stares down a jungle ghost with a chip on his shoulder and a roundhouse kick in his back pocket?

This week, it’s Rico Suave vs Geeko Suave as two of the bracket’s most soft-spoken killers throw down in the ultimate gentleman’s bar fight. One of them breaks bones with roundhouse kicks and ripped-out throats. The other clears rooms with suppressed pistols and spreadsheet precision. It’s Dalton (Road House) vs Christian Wolff (The Accountant)—and yes, one of the stars of Parks & Rec makes a genuinely amazing contribution to the conversation.

We also dig into bar fight etiquette, the quiet tough guy trope, and whether philosophy or autism gives you a greater edge in hand-to-hand combat or picking up ladies. Spoiler: things get weird.

For once, we step out from behind the bracket and into the spotlight. Meet the hosts of Fictional Fighting Championship as we reveal our questionable qualifications, share the cinematic trauma that shaped us, and pull back the curtain on how this chaotic tournament came to be.
Plus:

• How we would fare in the bracket (spoiler: poorly)
• Some spicy behind-the-scenes fun facts and mind-blowing trivia
• Three brand-new character reveals — that might shake the seeding board.

This is your chance to get to know the maniacs behind the mayhem.

Two legendary lone wolves. One hell of a matchup. It’s modern warfare versus old-school grit as John Rambo takes on Clint Eastwood’s iconic Man With No Name. We’re talkin’ booby traps, cigarillos, red bandanas, ponchos, and body counts that would make history textbooks weep.

We run the Tale of the Tape, dive deep into each fighter’s strengths, and ask the big questions: Could a revolver ever outpace a rocket launcher? Would a spaghetti western outlaw fall for jungle mind games?

Plus: keyboard carnage, fantasy memorabilia, shirtless glistening comparisons (don’t ask), and your hosts rank all 5 Rambo movies.

Strap in. It’s jungle warfare vs tumbleweed.

What happens when TV’s most tortured protector faces off against TV’s most organized psychopath? This week, it’s Joel Miller (The Last of Us) vs Dexter Morgan (Dexter) in a battle of emotionally stunted murder men who just want what’s best for their very specific version of the world.

We break down who wins in a shootout, a sneak attack, or a long weekend of shared grief and moral ambiguity. We unpack Joel’s Zaddy energy, Dexter’s surgical kill routine, and—yes—we accidentally go off on Rita for a while. Sorry, Rita fans. She catches a few strays.

Plus: martial arts analysis, a death count audit, and the definitive answer to whether Dexter and Joel could swap roles.

Two legendary war cries. Two historically loose interpretations of freedom. One epic matchup.

This week, we pit the broadsword-swinging Scotsman against the javelin-hurling King of Sparta in a no-holds-barred clash of kilts and capes. Expect passionate yelling, slo-mo charges, and enough testosterone to make your speakers sweat.

We break down their combat styles, battlefield tactics, and cinematic absurdities—plus:
Which leader actually had the better strategy. Who's more dangerous without an army. Another round of Keyboard Carnage from fan reviews. And an argument over the earliest known slowclap in history.

So grab your war paint (or airbrush kit) and prepare for glory. This one’s gonna be messy.

Two legendary war cries. Two historically loose interpretations of freedom. One epic matchup.

This week, we pit the broadsword-swinging Scotsman against the javelin-hurling King of Sparta in a no-holds-barred clash of kilts and capes. Expect passionate yelling, slo-mo charges, and enough testosterone to make your speakers sweat.

We break down their combat styles, battlefield tactics, and cinematic absurdities—plus:

Which leader actually had the better strategy. Who's more dangerous without an army. Another round of Keyboard Carnage from fan reviews.

And perhaps the earlier known slowclap in history.

So grab your war paint (or airbrush kit) and prepare for glory. This one’s gonna be messy.

What happens when an outlaw biker meets an outlaw cowboy?
In this dusty showdown, we pit Jax Teller of SAMCRO against The Man With No Name, Clint Eastwood’s squinting, silent gunslinger. One rides with a gang, the other rides solo. One favors leather and automatic rifles — the other? A poncho and a six-shooter.

We talk kill counts, grit levels, and tactical minds… and ask the important questions like:
Could Jax hang in a standoff? Would MWNN survive a drive-by? And just how far can you get with nothing but a cigar and a stare?