#10: Self-Sabotaging

Have you ever felt unworthy of love or happiness? Do you feel you are incapable of reaching your goals? Have you ever had thoughts that you can never heal from your past abuse? These are examples of negative self-talk that leads to self-sabotaging behaviors. Self-sabotaging behaviors are created by our traumas and how we respond to them. Negative, harmful, and limiting thoughts about yourself lead to destructive emotions that cause you to avoid personal growth, well-being, and healing.

How do self-sabotaging behaviors form? Through a series of events and responses: The HEAL Self-Sabotaging Cycle

1. Abuse/traumatic event occur
2. Reaction (thoughts, feelings, actions)
3. Original coping strategies (to deal with trauma)
4. Deep seated fears, insecurities and unresolved trauma form
5. Internalized into the subconscious
6. Triggers created
7. Sabotaging behaviors form (procrastination, perfectionism, resist change, low self worth, indecision, etc.)
8. Affects quality of life, increased anxiety, depression, negative self-talk, etc.

When it comes to self-sabotaging behaviors identifying its origins or trauma event is the first step. Understanding your reactions to the traumatic event and your coping strategies to the trauma help lay the foundation to overcoming them. Identifying the fears and insecurities that developed helps you to do a deep dive into what is happening in your subconscious mind. This helps you to understand your triggers and why they formed. Then you can see your self-sabotaging behaviors and how they have affected your life! Once you understand how they are formed, you can overcome them! But I'm not going to lie. It can be an uphill battle. So, in today's episode I help you streamline your experience with self-sabotaging behaviors by helping you find a path – quicker – to overcome them and move closer towards the life you deserve.

Today, you'll hear about: - [5:12] What self-sabotaging behaviors are and how they prevent you from achieving your goals - [8:33] Examples of self-sabotaging behaviors including procrastination, isolation, learned beliefs, negative self-talk, substance abuse, etc… - [12:25] The process of internalizing … self-sabotaging behaviors can be a means to exert control in a life where you felt powerless or to punish yourself due to misplaced guilt or shame associated with your abuse. - [26:03] Through these reframing exercises, you can recognize and adjust distorted thought patterns that contribute to your emotional distress and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Listen in and learn about what self-sabotaging behaviors are and how you use them in your life. Learn how they 'really' affect you, and how to overcome them. Yes, you can overcome self-sabotaging behaviors! I share many different strategies to change what is holding you back.

Click here to listen!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow the podcast. I'm adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the feed and, if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out. Follow Now!

Download:

HEAL Trigger Tracker Worksheet