What do bottles, brothels and bladders of fat have in common? I wish I could say nothing. Tragically, however, the answer is Teleny, an upsetting attempt at Victorian erotica attributed to Oscar Wilde, although didn't the man suffer enough indignities to be spared this?

Human delight Sarah joins Lexi in London to wade through this smutty imbroglio and tackle the unexplainable shared visions and magic anatomy that left them bewildered and uneasy. Unlike poodles and young Arabs. Sorry for the nightmares and happy holidays.