Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...

Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?

Listen Later

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries? is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Boundaries can be an emotionally charged topic for some people. But what exactly is a boundary? Today we talk about what boundaries are, why they are important, the difference between setting a boundary and attempting to control someone else’s behavior and actions we can take to enforce our boundaries in a Selfirst way.

In this episode, we cover…

  • How not setting a boundary when it is needed will most likely lead to it being crossed causing us to be impacted, probably multiple times
  • How setting a boundary can make the difference between our needs being met and our needs being compromised
  • How boundaries also meet our Personal Power Need by creating what we want 
  • How boundaries prevent our needs from being impacted and drained
  • How boundaries include actions that need to be taken in order to keep your needs from being impacted
  • How some people can use the language of boundaries as a form of control
  • How the definition of a boundary within a Needs context is “a boundary is something that you put in place to make sure that your needs don’t get negatively impacted”
  • How part of this is the choices and actions we take to ensure this
  • How boundaries are a Selfirst way of meeting your needs
  • A reminder that there is a difference between not meeting someone else’s need for them and doing them harm
  • How the focus of boundaries is on our behavior in a given situation
  • We give examples of the difference between controlling someone through boundary language and setting boundaries
  • How there are 2 kinds of boundaries - a soft boundary and a hard boundary
  • How a soft boundary is a “should” and a hard boundary is a “must”
  • How respecting someone’s boundaries by proactively honoring them builds trust in relationships
  • The important distinction between boundaries and preferences
  • How boundaries can be an emotionally charged topic and how some people confuse the feelings of the boundary being crossed with how we choose to behave when the boundary is crossed
  • How if we have strong feelings about someone setting a boundary with us (as long as it is not an attempt at control) that means that there was an expectation of that person meeting our needs for us
  • We use an example to discuss how boundaries can be used as a form of control to try to use someone else to meet unmet needs
  • We use an example of setting a boundary that honors ourselves without attempting to control
  • We give an example of a time boundary example in a work situation, a personal situation and a situation where there is an attempt at control 
  • How there can be a conversation around a boundary to see what works for the people involved, without compromising the boundary
  • How if we have feelings come up about someone setting a boundary, we need to process them and ask ourselves why 

    • Episode references:

    Episode 7 - Boundaries: If you don't respect the door, you get the gate

    Apology series: Episode 15 - Apology Series: When an apology actually damages needs; Episode 16 - Apology Series: How to apologize (and why sorry isn't enough); Episode 17 - Apology Series: What to do when you're waiting for an apology that will never come

    ...more
    View all episodesView all episodes
    Download on the App Store
    Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...By The Universal Needs
    • 3.5
    • 3.5
    • 3.5
    • 3.5
    • 3.5

    3.5

    6 ratings