***Trigger Warning - Self unaliving

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 186 - "The Importance of Direct communication" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Many people think they want people to communicate directly with them but when it comes to actually receiving that direct communication, their tune often changes...and quickly. Because we're not use to it, and due to our unmet needs, direct communication can feel like a criticism or an attack when it can actually be what strengthens relationships. Tune into this episode as we discuss the difference between negatively impacting someone's needs and not catering to their comfort and how you can be direct while being mindful of other people's needs.

In this episode we cover:

• A trip down a rabbit hole that changed the topic of this podcast
• Direct communication isn't personal
• Asking for what feels good
• The importance of being transparent
• The anomaly that is Claire
• The art of being direct
• The negative impacts of not being our true and honest self
• Navigating the top three unmet needs in direct communication
• Communicating directly without using verbal language
• Removing the room for interpretation
• Making direct communication successful communication

Episode References:

• Clearing Niggles episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 185 - "If you find yourself in a difficult situation, here's how to avoid the drama and protect your peace" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Crappy situations are like a calling card for unmet needs, and our unmet needs will often make a crappy situation even crappier. They will create chaos in an attempt to get met as quickly as possible, which are often in unfulfilling and unsupportive ways that also compromise the needs of others. Join us on today's episode where we discuss how to make the choices that will prioritize our needs, serve us best and help to protect our peace, even in crappy situations.

In this episode we cover:

• Unmet needs don't make the best decisions
• Dropping into Creator Approach to manage crappy situations
• What happens when you let your unmet needs run the show
• Navigating someone else's unmet needs
• Where is it worth pointing out someone's impact to our needs and where is not
• When addressing a situation is what will protect your peace in the long run
• The misconception that time heals everything
• Avoiding the drama swirl (yours and others)
• The toxic needs boost people receive when feeding drama
• Focusing on our longterm outcomes
• The choices we often forget we have

Episode References:

• The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• 
  
• The Guilt and Shame Series - Episode 43 - The Guilt & Shame Series: The difference between guilt and shame; Episode 44 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise; Episode 45 - The Guilt & Shame Series: That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanity
• 
  
• The Inner Teenager episode - Episode 184 - Inner Teenager

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger Warning: Self Harm and Eating Disorders

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 184 - "How to support your Inner Teenager" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

There's a lot of talk about the inner child these days but rarely do you hear mention of their older, and often angstier, counterpart. In last week's episode we talked about our inner child and the impact their unmet needs can have on our adult lives. This week we'll be diving into our inner teenager, why they are often angry, and how by acknowledging and honoring them we can begin to heal and bridge the needs gap that often exists between childhood and adult. Whether you are parenting a teenager or trying to connect with and heal the one within, this episode can help you get there.

In this episode we cover:

• Serena's highly caffeinated choice
• Why we are talking about the inner teenager
• The similarities between the inner child and the inner teenager
• The awareness of teenagers
• How teenagers often use harmful and red spectrum ways to try and meet their needs
• Helpful tips for processing anger
• Honoring your inner teenager
• Claire's adult response allowed her inner teenager to truly be heard
• The gifts our inner teenager brings to our adult lives
• Using teenage coping mechanisms as and adult
• How to use our needs to support our inner teenagers
• The 4 needs that often affect teenagers most

Episode References:

• Inner Child Episode - Episode 183 - Inner Child

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Trigger warning - Childhood Trauma

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 183 - "How to support your Inner Child" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Everyone has one, and they can actually be pulling a lot of the strings, but not many people acknowledge their presence or significance in their lives. Today we're talking about the inner child, the role our inner child can play in our adult lives and what they have to do with our needs. Tune in to find our how to start healing our inner child and begin creating a relationship with them that allows for the things they crave. Spoiler alert, the adult in us is craving these things too.

In this episode we cover:

• Beyond the therapeutic speech - what is our inner child?
• Having our inner child take the wheel
• What is amygdala hijack?
• The role childhood trauma plays in adulthood
• How to start healing our inner child
• Relating to our inner child
• Supporting the adult while doing inner child work
• How connecting to our inner child helps to meet our adult needs
• What our judgements as adults could be saying about our inner child
• Creating the balance we need between adulting and our inner child
• Embracing our inner child in our adult life

Episode References:

• The trauma series - Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma?; Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma?; Episode 88 - Trauma Series: How to heal trauma and triggers
• The first trauma episode - Episode 51 - How to increase your resilience
• The apology episode - 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology
• The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Notes:

Don't miss these for a good laugh!

Squid toy videos:

https://www.tiktok.com/@jushy/video/7551478921485667614

https://www.tiktok.com/@jushy/video/7552250698709093662

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 182 - "How to find the balance between creating and allowing" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Often when we expect or want something to look a certain way, we set out to create it...even if its not what's actually present. On today's episode we're going to talk about the difference between creating, forcing and allowing and how when we allow what is present, we can actually create something even better than we ever expected.

In this episode we cover:

• The festival experience Claire wasn't able to create and the surprising result
• Chasing something that just isn't present
• Creating through allowing (the choice you have as creator)
• Forcing emotions because we want to feel them
• Being present with what is present
• Allowing things that don't seem to make sense
• Ignoring the red flags
• Finding things you never knew existed or were possible
• How Claire's brain almost stopped the podcast from existing
• Embodying and deepening into creator mode
• Expanding our view of what something "working out" looks like
• How to begin allowing

Episode References:

• The Interaction Dynamics episodes - Episodes 159-169
• The Drama Triangle episodes -
• The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• The Persecutor Approach episode - 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• The Rescuer Approach episode - 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• The Rescuer Approach harm episode - Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The Empowerment Dynamic episodes - The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• The Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• The other "shapes" episodes -
• Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• The Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)
• Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)
• Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies
• The FOMO episode - Episode 140 - FOMO, ROMO, SOMO and JOMO
• The options episode - Episode 177 - What to do when you're stuck between two crappy choices

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 181 - "Find the small things that will make the biggest difference when meeting your needs" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

You need to do big things to get big results right!? Not necessarily. Sometimes it's the small things that we do that can make a big difference and it really can be that simple. Well Shit. Tune into today's episode and we'll share some of small things that make a difference for us and how to find the small things that can make a big difference for you and your needs.

In this episode we cover:

• How to find the small things for yourself
• What's stopping you from making a difference
• The small thing that has Claire doing her Needs Practice regularly (and not having to lean)
• Actively choosing not to do something that would serve us
• Creating more enjoyment in the things we already do
• Using your senses to meet your needs
• Creating a momentary escape from the world
• Amplifying your experiences
• Creating presence and focus
• Simplifying your day to day routine
• Making the most of every moment

Episode References:

• The episode where Serena asks a question live - Episode 98 - Question time: Why am I not doing the thing I want to do?
• The episode where we talk about the dings - Episode 73 - The Ding Ding Dings

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 180 - "The most important first step to nervous system regulation that most people don't do" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

We know that we can regulate our nervous system but where do we actually begin? This week we're talking about the first, and most important, step that often gets ignored and how taking this step can drastically change how regulated our nervous system feels. 

In this episode we cover:

• If you haven't already, go back and listen to the previous episode
• The negative impact a hug can have
• Becoming aware of the indicators we're dysregulated
• The role your inner child plays in nervous system regulation and dysregulation
• Building trust and creating safety in your nervous system
• What does pee have to do with it?
• Forcing ourself to do something
• Supporting your nervous system through meeting your needs
• Starting from the bottom up
• Creating a win, win, win for yourself

Episode References:

• The episode where we talk about co-regulation - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• The Selfirst episode - Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• The episode with the story how we met - Episode 11 - When it meets your needs to be a hot mess
• It turns out we haven't done an episode on The Inner Child yet, so we're adding that to our "to record" list and will be releasing it soon.

Notes:

• The TikTok video that inspired this episode was this one: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNdbp41gV/

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 179 - "How to regulate your nervous system" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Life feels chaotic for many of us and many of our nervous systems are on high alert. Although it may not be possible to regulate the chaos around us, we can begin to regulate the chaos within us. We've referenced it in other episodes and today we're diving deeper into nervous system regulation, its importance and where it sits in the meeting of our needs. Tune in to find out how to begin supporting and regulating your nervous system and how doing so can help others to regulate theirs.

In this episode we cover:

• TED Talk teaser
• The "buzz" about nervous system regulation
• What happens when your nervous system is dysregulated
• The connection between nervous system regulation and trauma response
• A quick needs overview
• Getting to the roots of our Foundation Function Need
• The difference between functioning and coping
• Suggestions for regulating your nervous system
• Finding what works for you
• An indicator that you're regulating your nervous system
• Normalizing nervous system regulation

Episode References:

• The episode where we talk about somatic processing - Episode 118 - I feel like I want to be angry but I don't know why
• The episode about the 6 types of trauma - Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma?
• The episode where we talk about the different trauma responses - Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma?
• The episode where we break down the needs - Episode 3 - I need to do WHAT?
• Episode 174 - Just one small thing
• The choices episode - Episode 177 - What to do when you're stuck between two crappy choices
• The episode where we talk about the vagus nerve - Episode Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety

Notes:

Gardening leave is in fact when an employee gives notices and is paid their normal salary but are not able to come to work or work elsewhere. It is done in an effort to protect a company's information from being passed to competitors.

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 178- "How to stay in creator mode when you don't have the capacity to come up with options" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

If you have been following us recently then you know the Creator Approach is where it's at. You also know that creation is intentional and takes capacity to facilitate. So does that mean if we don't have capacity we are automatically in the Drama Triangle? Not necessarily. Tune into today's episode to find out how you can stay in creator, even when you don't have the capacity to come up with the options to create. Your future self will thank you for listening.

In this episode we cover:

• Focusing on what we DO want
• Setting yourself up for when you don't have capacity
• How food helps Claire and Serena stay in creator mode
• When clothes can create the creator
• Getting the most out of your travels
• The difference between an idea and an option
• Knowing yourself well enough to know what you need
• So many options, so little time
• Remembering your why
• The backup option that is often Claire and Serena's go-to

Episode References:

• The previous episode - Episode 177 - What to do when you're stuck between two crappy choices

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 177- "What to do when you're stuck between two crappy choices" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Ever feel stuck between a rock and a hard place; where it feels like we are forced to choose between one crappy choice or another? We're conditioned to think we only have certain choices and that things look a certain way but times they are a changing. On today's episode we're going to share how to take a crappy situation and create more options than we could have imagined...some we may have never even thought were possible. 

In this episode we cover:

• How Claire and Serena take the edge off life and adulting
• Seeing the possibility of choices beyond this or that
• The role generational conditioning and patterns can play in our choices
• Society's expectations of our choices
• Finding and creating what works for us (regardless of whether we've seen it done before or not)
• What is chronically compromising many people's needs
• Battling with our inner monologue to create space for possibility and options
• The most important thing to do when we feel stuck
• Just one small step
• Being able to reassess and pivot
• The two things that cause a lot of problems for people trying to make choices
• What marriage and divorce are "supposed" to look like
• Creating options from your fantasy world
• Creating options from what you have
• Inspire others to meet their needs

Episode References:

• The perfectionism episode - Episode 23 - How to get over perfectionism

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.