Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 199 - "Do you have an inner Gremlin? Are you feeding it without realizing?" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

The 80's brought us Gremlins, nasty little creatures that multiply and reek havoc, and although we are all grown up, those little buggers have remained but now they live in our heads. Much like the movie, our Gremlins can morph and multiply, reeking havoc in our minds and relationships. Relationships are hard enough without Gremlins running around trying to narrate the story with negative nonsense. Join us on today's episode where we discuss acknowledging our Gremlins and how we can keep them small, quiet and with a little practice, almost nonexistent.

In this episode we cover:

• The difference between our inner critic, inner saboteur and our Gremlin
• The stories Gremlins spin and the tales they will tell
• The relationship between the Gremlin and Niggle Monster
• What feeds our Gremlin?
• The unmet need that feeds our Gremlin most often
• Falling down the shame spiral
• How to deal with our Gremlin
• Communicating about your Gremlin
• What can happen when name our Gremlin
• Creating the worst case scenario while trying to avoid it

Episode References:

• The Niggle Monster episode - Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles
• Inner critic and saboteur episode - Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteur
• Guilt and shame episodes - Guilt and Shame Series: Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shame; Episode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise; Episode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanity
• Inner child episode - 183 - How to support your inner child
• Inner teenager episode - 184 - How to support your inner teenager

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 198 - "How to acknowledge someone" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

It's natural to want to be seen, heard and understood by those we are in relationship with however, that is not always the case. We've recently discovered that acknowledgement (and doing so effectively) is not as self explanatory as we once thought. On today's episode we're going to discuss why acknowledgement is important, how to acknowledge in ways that are effective and we'll break down the Acknowledgement Blueprint to find out what steps are needed to make deeper, more effective and meaningful acknowledgements and which will help create deeper and more meaningful connections.

In this episode we cover:

• What is an emojency?
• Buzz phrases that lead to superficial acknowledgement
• The many meanings of "I hear you"
• The role gremlins can play in acknowledgement
• Checking boxes, the difference between saying and feeling
• The steps of the Acknowledgement Blueprint
• The importance of staying present and curious
• The thumbs up emoji and what it means now
• Demonstrating that you've actually heard someone
• How to cultivate closer relationships through acknowledgement
• The optional steps when acknowledging
• Why Serena referred to us as the Fight Club of personal development
• Moving from an intellectual or verbal acknowledgment to an active and embodied acknowledgment
• Managing your unmet needs during this process
• Focusing on whats important and how to do so

Episode References:

• The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology
• Relationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?
• 
  
• The clearing niggles episode- Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles

Notes:

• Download The Acknowledgement Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Acknowledgement
• Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology
• Video of educating boomer appearance about the thumbs up: https://www.tiktok.com/@jasonsappy/video/7578197526180941087

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

***Trigger Warning - AIDS crisis, bereavement and grief

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 197 - "The importance of joy when times are tough" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

One of the most important emotions to experience when times are challenging, is also one of the first emotions to go. Today we're talking about joy. In difficult times joy is an emotion that can feel so far away from where we are currently at. So how do we honor what is happening around us while also allowing the full spectrum of emotions that may be present? Tune into today's episode where we discuss why we resist joy, how we can begin to allow joy that is present and cultivating moments of joy that may not have seemed possible.

In this episode we cover:

• The holiday sweater debate
• Why Claire is airing on the side of ridiculous for her singing competition
• The challenge with showing and sharing joy in difficult times
• Resisting joy in grief
• Allowing and processing the full spectrum of emotions
• The difference between authentic joy and masking "joy"
• Processing our experiences more authentically and becoming more resourced in terms of our emotions
• Shifting ourselves out of the direction of "this is what it's meant to look like"
• Creating a space for all the emotions to be present
• Recognizing the potential for joy
• The steps to cultivating joy
• Creating small moments of joy
• Checking in with where you're at and what will truly bring you joy

Episode References:

• The episode on resisting joy - Episode 133 - Why we sometimes resist joy
• The negative emotions episode - Episode 33 - Why there's no such thing as negative emotions
• The episode where Serena talks about getting punchy - Episode 118 - I feel like I want to be angry but I don't know why

Notes:

• Quote from AIDS crisis:
• "During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon, and we danced all night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance that we were fighting for. It didn't look like we were going to win then, and we did. It doesn't feel like we're going to win now, but we could. Keep fighting. Keep dancing." - Dan Savage

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

***Trigger Warning - Experience natural disaster

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 196 - "How to do business as usual when everything feels so out of control" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

There's a lot going on in the world currently and a lot of people are struggling. To be quite honest, things are pretty shitty. How can we be expected to do business as usual, when nothing is usual?! We don't always have the answers or know what is or isn't the right thing to do so stopped our conversation to hit record and bring you in on it. Join us as we talk about getting back to basics so we are able to resource ourselves and navigate the challenges ahead.

In this episode we cover:

• We don't always have the answer; the "business as usual" dilemma
• What the hell is going on in the world around us
• Daz's on camera cameo
• Feeling like meeting our needs is a drop in the ocean
• We're all in this dumpster fire together
• Simply meeting your needs doesn't make the world ok
• Identifying what we CAN do to move the dial in a better direction
• What to do when the big picture is out of your control
• Getting back to basics
• How Claire navigated a hurricane by meeting her needs
• The right moments to process
• Figuring out what supports you and what doesn't
• Finding the balance between doing the things we need to do while minimizing the negative impact to our needs

Episode References:

• Episode 89 - What to do when you’re REALLY struggling…
• 142 - How to cope when it feels like the world is falling apart
• The Interaction Dynamics (shapes) episodes - Episodes 159-169
• The Drama Triangle episodes
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach -
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The Empowerment Dynamic episodes
• Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6)
• Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• The other "shapes" episodes -
• Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)
• Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)
• Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies
• The bad habits episode - Episode 91 - How to shift bad habits or change behaviors

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 195 - "Why there is no such thing as win-lose in relationships" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

In life, you win some and you lose some. However, when it comes to our relationships, there is no win-lose. If it's not a win-win, it's a lose-lose and if something doesn't work for one person, it doesn't actually work for the other person or the needs of the relationship. Tune in to discover how finding the win-win can drastically change and improve the relationships in your life by creating something that works for everyone.

In this episode we cover:

• Raining iguanas and exploding trees
• Why there is no win-lose in relationships
• The effects our relationships have on our needs
• Understanding and recognizing interconnectedness
• How winning an argument can negatively impact our needs
• The repercussions of disconnecting from someone's humanity
• What winning actually is
• The culture of competition in relationships
• When team building builds walls
• Putting energy into collaboration rather than competition
• Finding what works for everyone
• Planting seeds of resentment
• Using an "ideal world" to find a win-win and create a more supportive relationship

Episode References:

• The Interaction Dynamics (shapes) episodes - Episodes 159-169
• The Drama Triangle episodes
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach -
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The Empowerment Dynamic episodes
• Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6)
• Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• The other "shapes" episodes -
• Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)
• Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)
• Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies
• The Selfirst episodes
• Episode 2 - The wisdom of Joey Tribbiani (An introduction to being Selfirst)
• Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibility
• Episode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needs
• The red green spectrum episode - Episode 121 - How trying to maintain an image can compromise your needs
• The Needs Ecosystem episode - Episode 36 - Self worth Series: Why it's so hard to feel 'enough'

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 194 - "Why it's never to late to say "no"" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Life happens and what needs are up, impacted, met or unmet is constantly changing. Sometimes what was once a legitimate yes is now an unfortunate no. Our last episode was all about the positive impact saying yes can have on your needs. Join us this week as we discuss how sometimes what serves us best is changing our yes to a no and when we feel unable to do so we are impacting ourselves, the other person and our relationship as a whole.

In this episode we cover:

• Some of the reasons we say yes, when it is actually a no
• Focusing on how something meets our needs and not considering the potential negative impact to our needs
• Preventing ourselves from feeling pressured to say yes
• When a yes becomes a no due to circumstances
• Renegotiating agreements and commitments
• Yes And and Yes But
• How to approach the no when have already said the yes
• What is Pancakegate
• When avoiding changing a yes to a no creates a bigger issue
• Providing the why
• If it's not a win-win it's a lose-lose
• Serena's New Years Eve yes that was a New Years Eve no for Claire
• Going into Creator Mode to find something you can say yes to
• Riding the pendulum between yes and no to see where your authentic yes lies
• The negative impact compromising yourself has on your relationships

Episode References:

• The episode about saying no - Episode 69 - How to say 'no' when you find it really hard
• The FOMO episode - Episode 140 - FOMO, ROMO, SOMO and JOMO
• The previous episode on saying yes - Episode 193 - How to learn to say yes more
• Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology
• The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 193 - "How to learn how to say yes more" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Yes. It's an easy word to say yet many struggle with it; holding them back from possibility, experience and meeting their needs in fulfilling ways. This week we're talking about how to identify and remove the barriers keeping us from saying yes more and what we need to consider to ensure we are saying yes to the things that serve us best.

In this episode we cover:

• Why we may be struggling to say yes
• Getting into the habit of saying yes
• Similarities between the approach to saying no and the approach to saying yes
• Breaking the pattern of saying no
• Figuring out the why behind the no
• Removing the barriers holding us back from yes
• What allowed Serena to say yes more in Key West while also protecting her relationship
• Focusing on the present moment
• When the yes can compromise our needs
• The fear of saying yes
• How to help create security
• Putting ourselves out there and finding or amplifying joy
• The two things that can really help us learn to say yes
• Considerations to make when saying yes
• Saying yes to more things

Episode References:

• Our last episode on control - Episode 192 - How to let go of control
• The episode about saying no - Episode 69 - How to say 'no' when you find it really hard

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 192 - "How to let go of control" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Do you feel the need to control things in your life? You are not alone. Control is something many of us feel we need and rarely do we dive into why we actually feel that way. Spoiler Alert...it has to do with your needs. This week we're getting into the layers of control and how our first 7 Universal Needs may be pulling the stings beneath the surface. If you're looking to change your relationship with control, this episode is for you. 

In this episode we cover:

• What is the need to control
• Where can patterns of control come from
• The impact our met or unmet needs has on our relationship with control
• How to begin changing our relationship with control
• Why we are trying to control
• The relationship between control and anxiety
• How control and our Personal Power Need are linked
• The control fear has over us
• A reminder that you are worthy simply because you exist
• Burnout...the toll of control
• Trying to fit in when we were born to stand out
• Validating ourselves through empathy
• Depreciating value through control
• Internal, quiet, empowerment and how we can obtain it
• Moving forward with baby steps

Episode References:

• The control episode - Episode 24 - How the need to have control is controlling you
• The anxiety episode - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety
• The acknowledgement episodes: Episode 92 - How to deal with the inner critic and inner saboteur and 176 - Why acknowledgment is more important than most people realize
• The perfectionism episodes - Episode 23 - How to get over perfectionism and Episode 99 - It’s OK to be human
• The Victim Approach episode - Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• The whimsy episode - Episode 153 - The power of whimsy when meeting your needs
• Needs Formula episode- Episode 70 - Burning the candle at both ends series: The Needs Formula

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 191 - "How assuming compromises needs" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

They say assuming makes an ass out of you and me. What most people don't know is it compromises the needs of you and me as well. We live in a culture of making snap judgments and just assuming we know someone or a situation however, these assumptions often have us losing sight of our humanity and the humanity of others. This week we're talking about assumptions, the impact making assumptions has on everyone's needs and how to cultivate deeper, stronger and more fulfilling relationships through curiosity.

In this episode we cover:

• When Claire got caught "drinking" on the job
• The real issue with assuming
• How our needs are compromised when assumptions are made
• The difference curiosity can make
• The assumption most people make about Claire and Serena
• What's not nice about "must be nice"
• Social media and the effect assumption can have on our humanity
• What we mean when we talk about curiosity
• Building trust and connection through curiosity
• The question to ask yourself when you're curious
• Removing the middle man from our connections
• Assuming you know the people you know

Episode References:

• Dark Side of Questions episode: Episode 172 - The darker side of questions

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 190 - "None of your business" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

As adults, most of us have probably been on both sides of the "none of your business" fence. Either getting ourselves involved in something that is none of our business or having someone get involved in our business that was none of theirs. In this week's episode we're getting into all the business and talking about how to determine if something is our business, navigating situations that are and aren't our business and how our unmet needs may be leading us right into none of our business.

In this episode we cover:

• What Mr. Razzle Dazzle gets that many humans don't
• The man who thought it was his business...spoiler alert, it was not
• What is belonging and why does it matter
• Why Emotional Experience and Expression is one of the most compromised needs
• When curiosity and concern come into play
• Determining whether something is our business or not
• Approaching with curiosity when it might be our business
• What to do if we find ourselves in a situation that is none of our business
• The needs that are often up when we jump into things that are none of our business

Episode References:

• Clearing Niggles episode: Episode 61 - Friendship Series: Clearing Niggles
• Direct Communication episode: Episode 186 - The Importance of Direct communication

Notes:

• Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.