Well Sh*t. It really is that simple...

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 219 - "Relationship Connection Series: What is and is not your responsibility in an adult relationship?" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Ever feel like the success of an entire relationship is resting on your shoulders? Or maybe you don't feel like you need to do anything because it's all being handled or it simply just works (spoiler, it actually doesn't). If this sounds familiar, you are not alone and what you might not realize is you are also not truly in an adult relationship. Join us as we discuss what an adult relationship actually is and what are and are not our responsibilities within that relationship.

In this episode we cover:

• What is an adult relationship
• What is NOT your job in relationship
• The root issue almost every relationship has
• Losing yourself in meeting the needs of others
• What IS your job in relationship
• Creating mutually supportive relationships
• It's not you, it's me
• Meeting the needs of the relationship by yourself
• Where most people confuse ease and effort
• When it's ok to compromise and when it is not
• Bringing ourselves back to Selfirst
• Dropping the plastic balls

Episode References:

• The previous Relationship Connection Series episodes:
• Episode 215 - Relationship Connection Series: What are the needs that are essential to any supportive relationship (The Relationship Needs)?
• Episode 216 - Relationship Connection Series: The Relationship Needs Part 2
• Episode 217 - Relationship Connection Series: Unsupportive connection with others
• Episode 218 - Relationship Connection Series: Supportive connection with others
• The shapes episodes -
• The Empowerment Ecosystem episodes -
• Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• The Drama Triangle episodes:
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The relationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?
• The absolutes episode - Episode 40 - Let's absolutely lose the absolutes (although not ALWAYS absolutely...)
• The Apology Blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology
• Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology
• The Selfirst episodes
• Episode 2 - The wisdom of Joey Tribbiani (An introduction to being Selfirst)
• Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibility
• Episode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needs
• The episode we refer to the glass and plastic balls - Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• The episode where we talk about the Star Trek shields - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 218 - "Relationship Connection Series: Supportive connection with others" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

As a culture we often use the word love when we actually mean like, appreciate, care and sometimes even descriptors that lie in the unsupportive end of the relationship spectrum. On our last episode we discussed the unsupportive end of the spectrum and the behaviors that are associated with it. This episode, join us as we get into the the supportive end of the spectrum, the behaviors that are present and what is needed to truly to improve our relationship with others.

In this episode we cover:

• Ooooppps, Serena's done it again and now we're getting uncomfortable
• I love you but I don't like you...is it true?
• Why we use the word love
• Getting clear on the difference between the person and the behavior
• The layers of the supportive connection with others spectrum
• Supportive behaviors that impact the relationship's needs
• Supportive behaviors that impact your needs
• Why there aren't healing behaviors for these layers in the relationship connection spectrum
• Cultivating the loving relationship that works for both people
• Dose the intensity and depth of relationship determine the level it sits at?

Episode References:

• The previous Relationship Connection Series episodes:
• Episode 215 - Relationship Connection Series: What are the needs that are essential to any supportive relationship (The Relationship Needs)?
• Episode 216 - Relationship Connection Series: The Relationship Needs Part 2
• Episode 217 - Relationship Connection Series: Unsupportive connection with others
• The Selfirst episode - Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• The Self Connection Spectrum episodes:
• Episode 211 - Self Love Series: Unsupportive self connection
• Episode 212 - Self Love Series: Supportive self connection
• Episode 213 - Self Love Series: The behaviors that can heal your self love wounds
• The Empowerment Ecosystem episodes -
• Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• The Drama Triangle episodes:
• 
  
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful

Notes:

• The quote Claire was thinking of was from How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days "I love you Benky... but I don't have to like you right now."
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hisYunuK3lc

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 217 - "Relationship Connection Series: Unsupportive connection with others" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Actions speak louder than words, we've all heard the phrase before and many of us think we believe that sentiment. Yet when we are assessing our own relationships, the actions (or inactions) of others often don't hold as much weight as they should. Join us on today's episode where we are looking at our connection with others and how to use this as a tool to access which of our relationships are actually working, how people really feel about us, how we really feel about others and how to begin moving our relationships in the direction we want it to.

In this episode we cover:

• What is the relationship connection spectrum and why is it important
• Why consistency is such an important factor
• Unsupportive connection with others
• Determining how someone actually feels towards you and your relationship
• What can keep us from recognizing or acknowledging these unsupportive behaviors
• The difference between love the feeling and love the verb
• Unsupportive behaviors that impact the relationship's needs
• Unsupportive behaviors that impact your needs
• Putting the unsupportive behaviors into perspective
• Two of the most important tools to use in the process of moving through the spectrum
• The hope for our relationships
• Determining how you actually feels towards others and your relationship

Episode References:

• The previous Relationship Connection Series episodes:
• Episode 214 - Relationship Connection Series: What are the needs that are essential to any supportive relationship (The Relationship Needs)?
• Episode 215 - Relationship Connection Series: The Relationship Needs Part 2
• The Drama Triangle episodes:
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The episode about interconnectedness - Episode 202 - What is interconnectedness and why is it so critical to getting our needs met?

Notes:

• “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” - Prentis Hemphill

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 216 - "Relationship Connection Series: The Relationship Needs Part 2" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Often times our relationships are treated like an artificial plant that just exists because we want it to...and then we wonder why the relationship didn't last. As we learned on the previous episode, like us, our relationships have needs to which need to be nourished in order for them to survive and grow. This week we're pickup up where we left off on our last episode and continuing to share the essential needs that every relationship has. Join us to discover the energy and effort we need to put into our relationships to not only sustain them but to help them grow and thrive. 

In this episode we cover:

• A quick review of the relationship needs we've already covered
• The importance of communication in relationships and what elements we don't always consider
• Showing you understand and care by asking questions
• What is honesty and do we actually want this in our relationships
• The different types of connection and intimacy
• What is security and safety in relationships
• The line between compromising and compromising ourselves
• The different aspects of learning and growth in relationships
• Dealing with conflict resolution in relationships
• Finding balance with relationship equity
• The different kinds of labor and the two that cause the biggest issues in relationships
• Relationship compatibility, what are the dealbreakers
• Optional relationship dependent needs
• The two aspects that go into meeting our relationship needs
• Why relationships are NOT 50/50

Episode References:

• Part 1 - Episode 214 - Relationship Connection Series: What are the needs that are essential to any supportive relationship (The Relationship Needs)
• The episode where we talk about honesty - Episode 146 - How honest should you be with children?
• The Boundaries Series -
• Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?
• Episode 102 - Boundaries Series: How to know what your boundaries are
• Episode 103 - Boundaries Series: How to communicate your boundaries
• The ideal world episode - Episode 195 - Why there is no such thing as win-lose in relationships
• The apology blueprint episode - Episode 156 - The 6 essential parts of an effective apology

Notes:

• Download The Apology Blueprint PDF here: https://theuniversalneeds.com/Apology

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 215 - "Relationship Connection Series: What are the needs that are essential to any supportive relationship (The Relationship Needs)?" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Did you know our relationships have their own needs? Many relationships are focused on the needs of the people involved and not on the needs of the relationship. Tune into today's episode where we discuss the difference between our individual needs and the needs of our relationships and share the essential needs that every relationship has.

In this episode we cover:

• What causes the most issues in relationships
• The the 3 entities that comprise all relationships
• The difference between our needs and the relationships needs
• The difference between connection and a relationship
• The essential needs for all mutually supportive relationships
• Building trust in our relationships
• How effort shows up in relationships
• Supporting the people within our relationships without rescuing them
• Taking responsibility in our relationships
• When adult/child dynamics show up in adult relationships
• The importance of time and space in relationships

Episode References:

• Self Love Series:
• Episode 211 - Self Love Series: Unsupportive self connection
• Episode 212 - Self Love Series: Supportive self connection
• Episode 213 - Self Love Series: The behaviors that can heal your self love wounds
• The Shapes Series -
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)
• How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)
• Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies
• The relationship orbits episode - Episode 154 - What are your relationship orbits, and how can they protect you?

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

***Trigger Warning: Domestic Violence - 39:00-39:44

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 214 - "Self Love Series - What do to when wounds pop up along the way?" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

As we've talked about in previous episodes, it takes mindful effort and work to achieve self love. When we feel as though we may be moving backwards on our journey, it can have us questioning where we're truly at. The good news is, not everything is as it appears on the surface. Join us as we continue our series on self love and discuss how to use the antidotes found in our self connection layers to heal our past wounds and become more solid in our self love journey.

In this episode we cover:

• Why Claire is now accessorizing with a crown
• When life happens along our self love journey
• The main indicator that a past wound needs healing
• The antidote and healing our past wounds
• Healing through the layers of self connection
• How to get the donkey out of the well
• Surpassing the experience to get to the goal
• Switching focus from working the process to enjoying it
• Trigger Warning - Domestic Violence - 39:00-39:44
• Looking at the bigger picture - our client's experience as she goes through this process
• Some context for our next episodes about the relationship connection journey
• Joe questions his love of Serena
• The experience of love we know vs the experience of love that is possible
• The difference between loving energy and being in relationship

Episode References:

• The tah-dah list episode - Episode 153 - The power of whimsy when meeting your needs

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 213 - "Self Love Series: The behaviors that can heal your self love wounds" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

How can we love ourselves if we don't even like ourselves? Well, the short answer is we can't. The good news is, now that we know about the unsupportive and supportive levels of self connection, we can learn how to actually move from unsupportive to supportive. Join us this week as we discuss the behaviors that heal our self love wounds, and how to use these behaviors to move through the layers on our self love journey.

In this episode we cover:

• Claire's confession and why we're not getting into our level of connection with others this week
• Where our inability to love ourselves usually stems from
• Acknowledging the level we're truly at
• The positive and negative relationships between self love and needs being met
• Using the layers of self connection to move along our self love journey
• How do you stop hating yourself?
• The antidotes for beginning to release toxic behaviors
• The simple phrase that has helped many of our clients
• The behaviors that can heal the self love wounds
• Creating the next layers of connection with ourselves
• Embracing our inner weirdos
• Taking the time to create, sustain and embody our self connection

Episode References:

• The unsupportive self connection episode - Episode 211 - Self Love Series: Unsupportive self connection
• The supportive self connection episode - Episode 212 - Self Love Series: Supportive self connection
• Trauma series -
• Episode 86 - What is trauma?
• Episode 87 - How do you identify trauma Episode 88 - How to heal trauma and triggers
• The toxic positivity episode - Episode 39 - Just HOW toxic is Toxic Positivity?
• The episode about hard and soft boundaries - Episode 101 - Boundaries Series: What exactly ARE boundaries?
• The episode where we talk about the Star Trek shields - Episode 28 - An antidote to anxiety
• The but/and episode - Episode 143 - Get your But out of here

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 212 - "Self love Series: Supportive self connection" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

As the episode title says, self love is a journey and our journey together continues. This week we'll be discussing the supportive end of the self connection spectrum. Tune in to find out how we can begin creating our own paths to self love.

In this episode we cover:

• Review of the self-connection spectrum
• Serena learns a new word
• What levels are in the supportive self connection spectrum?
• The behaviors that show up in each of the supportive spectrum layers
• Why the layers are ordered as they are
• How we can begin to create and move closer to self love
• The levels of learning and how they apply to the self love journey
• Antidotes to the unsupportive self connection spectrum
• What's got Serena thinking of balls
• The client who thought they were further along their self love journey
• Feeling vs showing - how do you treat yourself when you are at these levels

Episode References:

• The unsupportive self connection episode - Episode 211 - Self Love Journey - Unsupportive self connection
• The Selfirst Series -
• Episode 20 - Selfirst Series: What is Selfirst? Let's get specific…
• Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibility
• Episode 22 - Selfirst Series: A safe space vs a comfortable space, how a comfortable space can actually cost your needs
• The episode about the difference between nice and kind - Episode 67 - People Pleasing Series - The problem with putting others first
• The Guilt and Shame Series -
• Episode 43 - The difference between guilt and shame
• Episode 44 - That's not guilt, it's shame in disguise
• Episode 45 - That's not guilt, it's an attempt at manipulating your humanity
• The episode where we talk about the levels of learning - Episode 35 - Self worth Series: The link between self worth and self care
• The episode about the Love Need variation - Episode 200 - One of the Universal Needs is CHANGING!
• The Shapes Series -
• Episode 159 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 1) - The Victim Approach
• Episode 160 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 2) - The Persecutor Approach
• Episode 161 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 3) - The Rescuer Approach
• Episode 162 - How to know if the way you're meeting your needs is disempowering (Shapes 4) - Why the Rescuer Approach is so harmful
• The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• The Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach
• The other "shapes" episodes -
• Moving from disempowering to empowering - Episode 166 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 8) - How to move from a disempowering approach to meeting your needs to an empowering one
• The Harm Dynamic episode - Episode 167 - The Harm Dynamic (AKA the abuse dynamic) - focusing on actual harm and the impact of it (Shapes 9)
• Episode 168 - How do the Interaction Dynamics apply to children and power dynamics? (Shapes 10)
• Episode 169 - Understanding the shapes in the context of movies

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 211 - "Self love Series: Unsupportive self connection" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Weeeeeeeee're Baaaaaaaaaack! It's the first episode of season 5 and we're going on a journey...a self love journey that is. There's a lot of pressure in today's society to love ourselves and the truth of the matter is, many people don't love themselves. On this episode we're going to get into the unsupportive stops along our self love journey that are important in getting to our destination. Tune in to find out how just because we don't feel the love doesn't mean we are not on the journey to do so.

In this episode we cover:

• How one "simple" slide in our program turned into (at least) a four episode series
• The misconceptions about self love
• The three parts to the self-connection spectrum
• What levels are in the unsupportive self connection spectrum?
• The behaviors that show up in each of the unsupportive spectrum layers
• Starting with the small wins, small steps and small things
• Owning where we are at, not where we "should be" and moving in the direction of self love
• Not realizing when we're actually on the self love journey
• Faking it till we make it
• The action of love
• How to begin showing love to ourselves

Episode References:

• The episode on the small wins and small steps - Episode 174 - Just one small thing
• The episode about not meeting needs that aren't your responsibility - Episode 21 - Selfirst Series: The difference between doing harm and not meeting needs that were never your responsibility
• The Empowerment Ecosystem episodes -
• The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• The Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 210 - "SEASON FINALE: Why you're never to old to learn how to meet your needs (or to benefit from them being met)" is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Do you believe it's too late to make a significant change in your life? If so, you're not alone. Change can be hard and uncomfortable and it can also be the thing that leads us to true happiness and fulfillment. Join us on this episode where we're talking all about change and how it's never too late to learn to begin meeting your needs and start making the changes in your life and relationships that will have you living your best life.

In this episode we cover:

• What's in store for our season break
• The difference between something working and just being familiar
• Using tools to get us to our destination faster
• Coming to terms with change and the best time to make change
• How to change and navigate those changes
• The importance of choice in change
• Letting go of what isn't working
• Microdosing change
• Starting where we have the capacity and then testing your capacity
• An invitation for during the break

Episode References:

• The episode on microdosing discomfort - Episode 209 - Microdosing discomfort to build your capacity for it
• The episode on supportive discomfort - Episode 188 - What is supportive discomfort?
• The episode about the life conveyor belt - 136 - Why you might not WANT the goal that you THINK you do…especially when it comes to weight loss
• The episode on resilience - Episode 51 - How to increase your resilience
• The Empowerment Ecosystem episodes -
• The Creator Approach episode - Episode 163 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 5) - The Creator Approach
• The Supporter Approach episode - Episode 164 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 6) - The Supporter Approach
• The Contributor Approach episode - Episode 165 - How to meet your needs in empowering ways (Shapes 7) - The Contributor Approach

Podcast Episode guide and full show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Find our website and connect with us on Social Media: https://linktr.ee/theuniversalneeds

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.