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Episode 102 - Boundaries Series: How to know what your boundaries are

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Well Sh*t. It really is that simple - Episode 102 - Boundaries Series: How to know what your boundaries are is now LIVE!

Full Show notes: https://bit.ly/WellShitEpisodeGuide

Now that we have identified what a boundary is, how can we begin to identify what OUR boundaries are? In today’s episode we go through how to identify what a boundary is, how boundaries are not set in stone and the importance of respecting your own boundaries to be able to communicate them and enforce them with others.

In this episode, we cover…

  • How a lot of people don’t know what their boundaries are because we were never taught about them
  • How if boundaries are crossed, one or more of our needs are negatively impacted. This is a good indicator when we want to identify our boundaries
  • How when someone crosses our boundaries, it results in trauma. 
  • The importance of checking in with ourselves when our needs have been impacted to identify whether a boundary has been crossed
  • How boundaries are not set in stone
  • We give examples of how boundaries can change depending on the situation (like mood, capacity, stress levels, how well our needs are met and more)
  • How honoring someone’s boundaries proactively builds more trust in a relationship
  • How boundaries can bring people closer together
  • The importance of understanding how our boundaries change
  • How when a person steps up to a boundary, there is generally some kind of mental or physical response/tension. This can help us to identify our boundaries
  • We encourage you to be gentle with yourselves around boundaries, especially because they change all the time
  • How having boundaries crossed can be learning moments to set boundaries in the future
  • How different people experience the discomfort of having their boundaries crossed in different ways
  • How when a boundary is crossed it is possible for us to react with a trauma response
  • The importance of asking ourselves why we feel uncomfortable in certain situations
  • How an impartial trusted friend can help ask questions objectively to help us figure out where the discomfort came from 
  • The importance of checking in with someone before a potential boundary is crossed
  • How we can cross our own boundaries too, how this compromises our Value Need and how this opens the door to other needs being impacted
  • The importance of honoring our boundaries in order to communicate them and enforce them with others
  • How crossing our own boundaries can make it seem permissible for other people to cross them too
  • How setting our own boundaries often helps others set their own boundaries too
  • How upholding your own boundaries is uncomfortable and also sometimes goes against societal norms

    • Episode references:

    Trauma series: Episode 86 - Trauma Series: What is trauma?; Episode 87 - Trauma Series: How do you identify trauma?; Episode 88 - Trauma Series: How to heal trauma and triggers

    Episode 101 - What exactly ARE boundaries? 

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