• Mike leads off hammering Packers -2.5 vs Eagles (immediately wavers when Woodley pushes back, classic)
• Woodley fires Eagles +2.5 and flexes his “I told you Minnesota was live” victory lap
• Cantu jumps in with Vikings +4.5 vs Ravens — O’Connell truthers unite
• Phil lays it big with Lions -9 at Commanders in full “Dan Campbell scare-'em straight” mode

Round two gets even messier:
• Mike GUARANTEES Saints +5.5 vs Panthers (prepare for screaming)
• Phil laughs and fires the other way with Panthers -5.5
• Woodley sprinkles pain with Raiders +9.5 in Denver on Thursday night
• Cantu trusts Colts -5.5 vs Falcons in Berlin — long-grass theory, don't ask

Survivor talk closes it out with Denver, Carolina chaos plays, and Phil trying to flex his final entry like it's a WSOP bracelet.

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