Today we are digging into what it means to change. Achieving permanent change is something that has proven impossible for many of you. You might know how to do it, and get temporary results, but nothing sticks around long term. Why is that? Today we are going over EXACTLY what you need to do in order to achieve lasting results, and you won’t even need to rely on your depleting supply of motivation or will-power. Don’t miss out!

Welcome to Your Living Health, the podcast where we talk about real life strategies to reduce chronic inflammation. Each episode will uncover tools for you to lose weight and achieve optimal health. I’m your host, Carly Lucchesi, I’m a UC Davis trained registered dietitian and I’m also a life coach. Together let’s coach through the science of inflammation, but in a way that is simple, purposeful and fun.

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Hey there! I want to start this episode by saying a huge thank you for taking the time to listen to this podcast. Each week a spend a lot of time investing into this work, and I love that you’re willing to invest in yourself by listening and (my hope is) applying these concepts we go over. I’m going to be annoying and ask that each of you take a moment to leave me a review. I know it’s a pain, but it really does help me get this info out to more people. So thank you to those who are willing to pause this episode and do that really quick, but now let’s begin today’s episode about why changing something about yourself is so hard.

So, I want to start by unpacking what it means to change. Change sounds like a simple thing, but we all know it is something very difficult to do. I want to start by looking at what I see as the four universally accepted components of change. First there is a problem that needs to be identified. This can be losing weight, getting rid of chronic symptoms, improving eating habits, exercising consistently, being a better wife/mom/sister/daughter, or even learning how to cope with work pressures. Boom, you’ve identified a problem that you want to solve. Then the second component of change is determining the “how”. How are you going to get this done? This is when you decide on which set of instructions you want to follow. Because there’s many different approaches for solving similar problems. AND, this is where you can easily become persuaded to purchase a “solution” because there’s a strong draw to pay top dollar for someone else’s “proven formula”. Know that getting clear on these two components is very valuable to you because you want to make sure you’re not wasting your time solving a problem you don’t care about, or wasting your time on a “how” that doesn’t work.

So now you know what problem you’re going to solve, and what your step-by-step plan is for how you’re going to get it done. Now you start looking for the third universally accepted component of change which is energy. The most common energy we covet for change is motivation or will-power. Without this component, you know there can’t be success. And there are a ton of different ways to create motivation. You can stew over the gap of who you are vs who you want to be, you can use an upcoming situation to put a timeline pressure, you can use pressure knowing that you have to make this change for the health of your relationship, your health in general, or continued employment. Or you could fall back on the energy produced from negative self talk. Something like “I need to change, I can’t believe you let yourself get to this place, what is wrong with you, etc.” You have many options for creating the energy you know will be required to make this change. But, you know that it can be really hard to drum up enough energy to make this change by yourself. This is where many of you reach out to your spouse, a friend, co-workers, or a professional to help give you externally sourced motivation when you can’t drum it up yourself. They’re casually called your “accountability partner” so that you can remain motivated to keep going when things get tough and when you don’t have it within yourself to keep going. Regardless of the way you get it, motivation or will-power is the next step you seek out when changing a behavior.

And finally, there’s the step of taking action. This is where the rubber meets the road, and tangible actions are taken. Without this step, you can know the problem, the how and have all the motivation in the world, but if you don’t do the thing, you’ll never see the change. Action is the next component each of you see as a vital component of change. Check boxes, task lists, filled up calendars, appointments, etc. Action is where many of you thrive, because it is so fulfilling to see action being done and boxes being checked off your list.

This universally accepted equation for change appears comprehensive and failproof. You have clarity of the problem, instructions for the how, the energy of motivation, and the action required to make the change. This is it, you have all the components you need to change your behaviors for good, right? But if this is true, why is change still so hard? Many of you are highly motivated and take all the action, but permanent change is never achieved. Or you know exactly how to solve the problem and you take lots of action despite low motivation, and still permanent change is not achieved. This can lead to frustration, overwhelm and confusion. Why is permanently changing your behavior so darn hard?!

I of course want to go over the missing piece that is not taught. It’s my goal with this podcast to make sure and teach what our culture and upbringing often leaves out. I want you to leave here with the tools and capacity to change yourself permanently and effectively, even when things get hard. So let’s start with what we do know. We know the result we want to achieve, which is the problem to be solved. We know we need to take action, and we also know we need to have decided HOW we’re going to get this done. Then we know there needs to be energy of some kind, often it is motivation or will-power that gets attention as the currency that will be required. And now here’s the most important piece of this equation, and thankfully it also is a component that remains 100% in your control. Maintaining control over your thoughts throughout this whole process will be crucial to achieving permanent action and therefore permanent change. And why this is imperative is because it’s your thoughts that create your energy, and your energy that drive action, and through consistent action you will generate your desired results.

A common mistake for behavior change is thinking that taking action = results. But I want you to consider that it is less about the action and more about the energy behind the action. If you want to learn more about this, listen to episode 10. And further, the energy behind your action is always created by the thoughts you are choosing to believe. Notice I said the thoughts you’re believing, which is an important distinction because it is 100% possible to have thoughts that do not generate energy simply because you are choosing not to believe them. But there is a magic that happens when you decide to think specific thoughts that drive intentional energy. From that intentional energy, you will have the capacity to create sustainable energy that will drive your actions so that you can get your results.

I want to share an example of one of my clients. She was losing weight consistently, doing all the actions she had planned, and felt energized in the process. She was operating from the energy of determination being driven from the thought “I can do this, I have the tools I need this time” But what was fascinating is that her weight loss began to slow despite taking all the same actions. When I brought it up with her, there was more of an energy of defeat than determination. She noticed how she was still eating well, but had an unplanned chocolate a few more times than anticipated. She was still avoiding the foods that caused her inflammation, but was noticing she was having more and more symptoms occurring. After our coaching session we uncovered the subconscious thought she had been believing this whole time which was “you might be seeing results now, but you know this won’t last”. When we uncovered it, she knew it was a thought she believed because when she said it aloud she had a tremendous sense of defeat wash over her. She knew it to be true, even when she didn’t want it to be.

But just simply knowing this thought was there, she was able to hear her brain bring it up and she was finally able to see it as optional. She knew attempts in the past hadn’t worked before, but she also knew that her past did not determine what’s possible in her future. She decided to believe new thoughts on purpose driving her continued determination that served her so well the previous few months.  She knew that if she allowed herself to operate from an energy of defeat, she would get the exact results those thoughts alluded to… that the results would not last.

There is something to notice about the thoughts you choose to believe, and the energy you choose to operate from. Notice what thoughts energize you, and notice which thoughts drain you. If you are choosing to think a thought that creates motivation, but is equally draining, is this a thought that ultimately serves you? Thoughts like this are usually at your own expense. “You’re so disgusting” is a good example. Sure, you can generate some motivation from it, but ultimately this thought will drain you because it’s origin is to be victim to your body. Alternatively, you can also generate motivation from a thought like “This time is different” which drives motivation, but also energizes you in the process. Notice how those thoughts feel different. If your thoughts are not in alignment with having your own back, just know that you are operating from a limited supply of energy.

I also want you to notice something about thoughts from my example. We know that thoughts create energy of some kind 100% of the time. This is how your body creates energy by your brain generating a perception or judgement of the world around you. But also notice that thoughts can be conscious or unconscious. They will always be there because you think about 70,000 thoughts every single day. But when you are making intentional change, you will need to begin to think intentionally. You CANNOT think intentionally with thoughts that are subconscious. Subconscious thoughts are passively believed as fact, and they drive your energy all the same. If you do not do the work bringing these thoughts to the surface, you will never have the opportunity to choose whether you want to continue thinking them or not. If you are stuck believing subconscious thoughts that generate defeat and discouragement ahead of time, what results do you think you are going to achieve? How permanent will this change be if you finally achieve it?

So, today I want you to remember that it’s your thoughts that create your energy, and your energy that drive your actions, and your actions that create your results. Today is the perfect day to begin taking notice of the thoughts your brain comes up with, and seek to be witness to them with pen to paper. Become the watcher of yourself as we discussed in episode 3, so that you can consistently and predictably show up for yourself and truly change your own life. You’ve got this, and I’m so honored to help you along the way.

If this has been helpful to you in any way, I ask that you leave me a review so that others can have easier access to this information. For those who have comments or ideas for future episodes, please take a few minutes now and type them out, I promise to read every single one. If you’re looking for some 1:1 guidance, head over to yourlivinghealth.com and book your free introductory consult. Again, thanks for your support of this podcast and I’ll talk to you soon.