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Abish and Abigail roll in already half-dead from a same-day work raid on Rexburg (Potato BYU), plus the usual modern plagues: a Tesla pothole incident that turns into “surprise, you’re buying four tires,” a Unisom gamble, and a toddler on a sacred quest for the One Blanket That Was In The Car The Whole Time. Drink-wise, Abish delivers the Highly Flavored. It’s Trader Joe’s seasonal sparkling strawberry soda + TJ’s fresh limeade, spiked with a casual ounce-ish of Malibu and an ounce-ish of vanilla vodka, poured over ice and topped for a cute layered look that does not resemble hot dog water (growth). Pop culture detours include rage-fantasies about accountability, the deeply cursed optics of shirtless powerful men, and the joyful chaos of watching survival content where the true villain is always some small, relentless weasel with an agenda. 

Scriptures: [00:32:44]

aaaAAAaaa shows up with an exmo power tool: a normalized diff. They explain how they pulled Matthew 24 (KJV) and Joseph Smith—Matthew into a repo, lined the passages up, and used a visual diff (plus AI help) to get painfully granular about what’s “Matthew” and what’s “Joe doing jazz hands over Matthew’s chord chart.” The segment frames the KJV as a single, interleaved Olivet Discourse, while Joseph Smith—Matthew is portrayed as a reshuffle-and-expand job that tries to separate the “Jerusalem gets wrecked” timeline from the “Second Coming” timeline, mainly by adding clarifiers, moving blocks around, and sprinkling covenant-y emphasis like it’s garlic powder. 

Church Teachings: [00:57:39]

Moroni tackles the “why is this random chunk even here?” question: why would Joseph Smith toss an apocalyptic rewrite of Matthew 24 into the Pearl of Great Price like an unrelated DLC? The segment argues it feels oddly placed narratively, but starts making more sense when you treat early Mormonism as aggressively end-times-coded: not “one day Jesus will return,” but “we are literally living in the countdown timer era.” From that angle, Matthew 24 wasn’t obscure to early Saints, it was mission-critical content. 

History: [01:09:13]

Abigail returns triumphantly to Egypt Corner, essentially admitting this is a continuation of last week’s “wait, WHAT” Wikipedia spiral. She digs deeper into the mummy-and-papyri economy around Michael Chandler’s mummy-selling tour (a sentence that should not exist, and yet), including how many mummies were in circulation and how bizarrely bad people were at tracking where the bodies and papyri ended up. The tone stays fixed on the absurdity that “anyone can buy a mummy” was just… a normal thing for a while, and on how that context feeds directly into Joseph’s confident scripture-production hustle. 

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