Intuitive Style

Episode 14. The vulnerability of trying, with Sienna Reid


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Today's guest is Sienna Reid, writer of the Substack column The Bronze Edit. I am both so inspired by her very cool personal style AND the way she writes about the experience of getting dressed. I so enjoyed connecting with her. Enjoy!

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

You're listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe that everyone has style. I'm Maureen Welton. In conversation with fantastic guests, we explore how to tap into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully. Today's guest is Sienna Reid from The Bronze Edit. In her newsletter, Sienna chronicles her experience figuring out her personal style in her 30s. As a fellow wide pants lover, she pulls the best inspiration images and eloquently analyzes how getting dressed feels. Sienna, welcome to the show.

Sienna: Thank you so much, Maureen. I'm so happy to be here.

Maureen: We've been having internet conversations for a while, so it's nice to actually see your face and talk to you. One of my favorite posts of yours is about the outfits you're too afraid to wear. I love how you bring awareness to that feeling—when you're excited to wear something authentic, you have all the right pieces, but it just doesn't feel quite right once it's on. You end up changing into something else. Could you share more about that post and what initially drew you to those outfits?

Sienna: Yes, absolutely. That post came from a moment when I was getting dressed for my niece’s birthday party. I don’t have kids, so I was already feeling a little unsure about what to wear to something like that. I wanted to feel like myself but still fit in. I put together an outfit with a floral dress layered under a sweater and over jeans—pieces I’ve owned for years. I loved how it looked in the mirror. But the moment I thought about walking out the door, a flood of insecurity hit me. What will people think? Will I be taken seriously? Which is wild because it's a toddler’s birthday party. But the voice of doubt was loud. And that’s what made me write that post. I realized I already owned my dream wardrobe, but I didn’t always have the confidence to wear it. And the response to the post made me realize so many people feel the same way. That alone gave me the push to actually wear one of those outfits out.

Maureen: Do you think it was sharing that post online that changed how you felt about those outfits?

Sienna: I think it helped, yes. I wasn’t posting it to get validation, but seeing how many people resonated with the experience reminded me that people aren’t scrutinizing me the way I imagine. That realization helped ground me. It’s not that the outfit is wrong—it’s just fear. If I want to show up in a way that feels true to me, I have to push past that fear. And it's not easy. I’ve only worn one of the outfits from that post, but it’s a start.

Maureen: I have a theory I’d love to hear your take on. Do you think we’re drawn to these outfits because they’re more expressive or editorial, which makes them harder to wear? Like we’re asserting something about ourselves that feels bold or different from what’s around us?

Sienna: I think you're really hitting the nail on the head because I think most of us here do love fashion or style or something about getting dressed. Otherwise, I think we wouldn't be here. But then it is scary to go out into that real world and, and kind of say to the world, yes, I actually am interested in this, or this is something that I actually enjoy doing. It's kind of really putting yourself out there because. If you go out and people think, oh, she put no effort into her outfit, then I don't care if they judge me, right? But it's scarier if they think, she tried and came up with that?

But it's scarier if they think, she tried and came up with that?

I think the other piece is, there's something about to like, when I'm alone in my room, and I think about outfits I love, I do like when they're different. And I do like when they stand out. But then That is also really hard because in the, you know, in my real life, I'm a pretty introverted person. Like I don't love a lot of attention. So it's tough.

Maureen: This is a really big question, but what are you afraid of? I'm asking myself too, right? I think you, you got pretty close with the idea of It's, it's harder when I've actually tried. It's more vulnerable than when I didn't try. Maybe that's why everyone's so obsessed with looking effortless?

Sienna: That's actually such a good point. Yeah. I do think that is a huge part of it. Like I even think about, you know, other things in, in my life, like whether it's career or sports or things like that. It's kind of like when you're just starting out and there's no. Expectation that you should be good at it. It's okay if you fail, but. It's like if once you go farther and you've put in that work to get better, if you still fail, that's a lot harder to deal with.

Maureen: I'd love to transition then to talking about the Bronze Edit. I feel some pressure as someone writing about style online, I feel like I should be pushing myself a little bit further, be a little bit more expressive or, I should be trying a little bit harder. Is that something that crosses your mind ever with The Bronze Edit?

Sienna: That's a really good question. I think a couple of things. I think the one next almost negative that I've noticed is thatand I really fight thisI repeat the same outfits a lot. I have a couple of sweaters, a couple of pairs of jeans that without fail, I will wear every week. Maybe I wear like a different belt, but it's basically the same outfit. And I think there is sometimes this sense of guilt that I feel when I post the same thing over and over again, even though that's so normal in real life. It's almost like, okay, is this super boring for people? Because I literally wore this outfit last week and the week before and the week before. I consciously don't let me stop, like stop me from wearing those outfits because I love them, they're comfortable. I'm just gonna wear them.

A very positive thing that has come out of it is that It's sort of giving me more confidence to try new things. I'm not at a point where I feel pressure to try and be more experimental. I have found it's actually been kind of a, a positive, um, effect to sort of say like, yes, you can try new things. If it doesn't work out, then that's probably a really fun thing to write about as well. It's been just such a natural organic thing. And I think you had posted something recently about like sort of the difference between Instagram and Substack. I don't think I will ever be someone who is regularly posting on Instagram. I just don't think that could work for me and my personality. That would be a lot of pressure to be coming up with these super cool outfits all the time. Whereas with Substack, if my outfits are boring, then I can write about how my outfits are boring and work through things that way.

I don't think I will ever be someone who is regularly posting on Instagram. I just don't think that could work for me and my personality. That would be a lot of pressure to be coming up with these super cool outfits all the time. Whereas with Substack, if my outfits are boring, then I can write about how my outfits are boring and work through things that way.

Maureen: Yeah, I would love to talk about this more because I had this thought the other day and I want to make the disclaimer that I think that Substack is a social media platform just like any other. The thing that I like about Substack is that there is long form content and so inherently that means that we aren't trying to make every little thing a sound bite that you can just digest in like a second. The process of trying to write my little Instagram bio was an absolute headache because everything that I write is really nuanced. And I can say something that can be completely contradictory to something else, and I hold space for both. A lot of writers on Substack do that and that's the benefit of a long form narrative is that you can actually get into the meat of something.

Maybe that's why I like YouTube so much too — you can go so much deeper with long-form. Then on Instagram, I tried to promote this podcast, which doesn’t come naturally to me. Instead of putting up clips, I thought I had to make videos of myself putting on clothes.

And I didn’t like it. It’s not what I want to do, so I only made two videos. But I had a moment where I thought, “Why am I trying to sell my personal identity and style?” That’s not what I do on Substack. I don’t know how you feel about that, because your platform is very much about your personal style, but it’s more nuanced. It’s about the experience.

Sienna: Yeah, I think that’s true. For me, it’s rarely about the outfit or even the clothes themselves. Half the time, I forget to link what I’m wearing and then think, “Okay, maybe that’s annoying,” but it’s never really about saying, “Here’s a cool outfit I put together, you should copy it.” It’s about how I got there, how I felt. Honestly, half the time I’m just working through things in real time as I write — writing helps me process. That’s so different from Instagram, where it’s more about the visual — do I like the outfit or not? And that’s fine; I love using Instagram for inspiration. But for me, personally, I don’t think I could handle the pressure. It doesn’t fit my personality, and that’s okay. It’s not a moral judgment. It’s just not what I’m trying to do.

Maureen: I love everything you just said. One thing I enjoy about going back to Instagram is seeing so many outfits I haven’t seen elsewhere — not on Pinterest or Substack. There’s so much diversity in bodies and personal styles, which can be overwhelming, but also really refreshing.

Your posts have some of the best inspiration. You pull from Instagram, and when I see your Substack posts, it gives me a richer experience — seeing it outside the Instagram format. It’s nice to have different platforms to have different types of conversations. That’s really what it comes down to what kind of conversation do I want to have? How do I want to engage with my clothes? What’s the best tool or platform for that?

Sienna: Exactly.

Maureen: It can be kind of analytical.

Sienna: Yeah, absolutely. I completely agree. Each platform allows a different kind of conversation. Even with TikTok — I love it for more in-depth styling tips. There are creators I follow who break down silhouettes and shapes, very similar to how I use YouTube. But I don’t go to TikTok for inspiration the same way I do Instagram.

Maureen: Yeah.

Sienna: I love that they’re all different. If they weren’t, it would be overwhelming — or boring — to see the same thing everywhere.

Maureen: That’s so interesting because I don’t use TikTok, but when we link from Substack to other platforms in a specific way, I start to see the purpose of each.

Sienna: Mm-hmm.

Maureen: Like this morning, Devon Rule — the writer of Brand Panic — posted about Quince. I won’t go into the details, but she linked to a TikTok she made a couple years ago showing how to find 100% cashmere on eBay in the right size, shape, and so on. And I thought, “Wow, I really needed this.” That video format worked better than if it had been written. So I like having all these different platforms. I just hope they continue to be different. My worst nightmare is if they all start to look the same.

Sienna: Yeah, exactly. I totally agree.

Maureen: I love having this conversation, and I hope it’s helpful for listeners. So many people on Substack — including us — are both writing and consuming other people’s content. It feels important to talk about how we’re engaging with the platform.

Sienna: Mm-hmm.

Maureen: There’s a smaller gap between creator and audience on Substack — at least right now. I don’t have sponsors, I don’t do ad reads. I’m just someone who wants to talk about style. I show my actual clothes. So it’s worth discussing how we’re experiencing the platform — because we’re all in it together, watching it evolve. I don’t know what you think about that.

Sienna: It genuinely feels like a community of people I’m making friends with. That’s what Substack feels like for me. When I post, I’m not thinking about broadcasting to an audience. I’m thinking, “I’m putting this out there,” and when comments come in, it’s a conversation. I’ve never built a big platform on Instagram or TikTok, but Substack just feels different. And I really hope it stays that way.

Maureen: I keep wanting to make that disclaimer too, but then I remind myself to just enjoy what’s working right now and deal with the rest later.

Sienna: Exactly.

Maureen: I hope that by having real conversations and continuing to comment and engage, we can build some kind of resilience — something that lasts even if the platform changes. That we can keep creating what we want to experience. I’m realistic that some things will be out of our control.

Sienna: Yeah.

Maureen: Okay, let’s shift and talk more specifically about your personal style. I like to ask every guest a tricky question: How do you decide what to buy and where? I know we talked about having the pieces but struggling to wear them — but what about the other side? How do you decide what not to buy?

Sienna: That’s such a good question. For me, that’s changed a lot over the past few years. And there are still habits I fall into sometimes. Once I became an adult and had to dress for real things — like conferences — my shopping started revolving around specific events.

I don’t naturally gravitate toward professional styles, so I’d go shopping last-minute before a trade show or a vacation and pick clothes that were my idea of what I “should” wear. Not what I wanted to wear. That led to a closet full of things I didn’t love. Often physically uncomfortable because I’d tell myself, “It’s just for one night.”

So the first change I made was to stop panic-buying. I try to avoid thinking of clothes as single-use for a specific situation. I now look at my wardrobe holistically. If I want something new, I think about what I already have — what it pairs with. I read somewhere that if you love a piece but need to buy three other things to wear it, it probably doesn’t fit your closet. That stuck with me. The other big change is how I prioritize how I feel — physically and emotionally — when I choose what to wear or buy. I have almost no tolerance for uncomfortable clothes anymore. Something shifted when I turned 35. I decided I’m not wearing tight pants or tight shirts. I just can’t do it.

That’s made me pickier. If I try something on and it doesn’t feel good, I don’t buy it. That’s helped a lot with getting dressed in the morning. I don’t have a set process, but I’ve noticed the first thing I think is: how do I feel? Am I bloated? Do I want to be in sweatpants? Okay — I’ll grab my most comfortable jeans. I start with how I feel and build from there.

Now that I’ve been doing that for a while and building a closet around it, I realize I actually have outfits for things I used to panic-shop for. I feel like myself, I’m comfortable and confident, and I probably show up better because of it.

Maureen: I love that, and I love how it’s changed your relationship with your wardrobe. I’d love to get more specific — are there any garments you’ve bought recently with that mindset that felt distinctly different from your old habits?

Sienna: Definitely. Right now I’m wearing trousers, not jeans — which is kind of shocking for me. I’m also working hard to let go of the number on the label and focus on how clothes feel.

I used to buy the smallest size I could physically fit into because I thought that meant it fit. Now, I’ll try something on, like these pants — I tried a size down and yeah, they closed. But I thought, “If I have a big meal, they’ll get tight. That’s annoying.” So I sized up. I was lucky I had that option — that’s not always the case — but I did, and now I want to wear these pants every day. I like how they look and they’re comfortable.

That shift is showing up in all my recent purchases. I used to own pieces I liked the look of, but when it came time to wear them, I’d think, “I don’t want to be squeezed into that all day.” So I wouldn’t wear them. They’d just sit in my closet. Now, comfort is a non-negotiable, and that’s made a huge difference.

Maureen: I appreciate you sharing that. There’s such a pervasive idea that if you can size down, you should.

Sienna: Totally.

Maureen: I’ve had that happen recently — trying something on and thinking, “This fits.” Then someone says, “Oh, you could size down.” I don’t think they mean anything by it, but it still reinforces that mindset.

Sienna: Yeah!

Maureen: We can wear whatever size we want, and just because something fits smaller doesn’t mean it’s the right fit. I was looking at a picture of myself in my favorite jeans and heard that voice in my head say, “They look kind of big. Is that flattering?” That voice is still there. But I’ve made a choice — I prioritize my physical comfort. If that means my pants aren’t skin-tight, so be it. I’d rather someone think they’re too big than feel miserable all day.

Sienna: Exactly. There’s no right or wrong. You just make the choice that works for you. I’ve also had to stop comparing how something looks on the model online versus how it fits me.

Maureen: Yes!

Sienna: Straight-leg jeans are a great example. I’d buy a pair marketed as straight-leg, put them on, and think, “This feels like a skinny jean.” The look just wasn’t there.

It’s the same with sizing up — maybe it doesn’t look like it was “meant” to, but maybe I prefer that relaxed, effortless vibe. I’ve started thinking: just because a brand shows it a certain way doesn’t mean I have to wear it that way. I get to choose what works for me. That’s easier said than done, though.

Maureen: Yeah, we’re all works in progress. I had a question earlier, but I lost it — maybe it’ll come back.

Sienna: It’ll come back.

Maureen: Let’s talk about your style evolution. Have you had any memorable phases?

Sienna: I think so. I’ve always liked getting dressed and playing with style. Not necessarily fashion — I don’t follow designers closely or always keep up with trends. But as a kid, I’d change outfits three times a day. I’d say, “Now I feel like this,” and go change again. That’s always been me.

In high school, music became a big influence. Both of my parents were musicians, and my brother is one now. A lot of my friends were in bands — let’s call it “light metal” — and I went through a kind of alternative phase. Not full goth or emo, but I wore black cargo pants with strings and wide legs — I wish I still had them. They had that one “weird” detail, which I still love today. I don’t like bright colors or patterns, but I like clothes with interesting elements. That’s still my style now — just a little more subtle.

The older I get, the more I try to bring that back in. I lost it a bit in my twenties, maybe trying to fit in. Now I’m consciously reclaiming it — whether it’s a studded belt or just a vibe. My style is more muted, but the essence is still there.

Maureen: I’d love to hear more about how you’ve approached bringing your full self and style into workwear. How do you balance that now?

Sienna: Great question. First, I’ll say I’m fortunate — I work in a casual environment. I can wear jeans and a T-shirt every day and it’s totally fine, so this doesn’t come up daily, which I actually really like.

But sometimes I have professional events — and those are my least favorite. I’d describe my style as casual, so it always feels like I have to stray from my comfort zone. What I’ve started doing is thinking in terms of silhouette: what shapes and proportions do I like? Can I recreate that with more “professional” pieces?

For example, I love wide-leg jeans. Maybe I can’t wear jeans, but I can wear wide-leg trousers. That relaxed silhouette still feels like me. I’ll pair them with something more elevated on top, but in a shape or fabric that’s still in line with my style.

I’m definitely still figuring it out. For instance, I really don’t like button-up shirts. I don’t like how I look in them — they feel too tailored, too formal. I feel like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes. So I’ve been finding alternatives, like T-shirts in elevated fabrics, something silky or structured. Things that read a little more dressed up but still feel like me. And honestly, even if I lean a little too casual, I’ve noticed I show up more confidently when I feel like myself. That has a bigger impact than the “correctness” of the outfit. People don’t remember if my sweater was simple — they remember how I carried myself.

People don’t remember if my sweater was simple — they remember how I carried myself.

Maureen: That’s a powerful insight. Do you think dressing in what you thought others expected had an effect on how you showed up before?

Sienna: Totally. It amplified my imposter syndrome. I’d already be thinking, “I’m not smart enough to be here,” and then I’d be wearing clothes that didn’t feel like me. I felt like an imposter in what I was wearing too. Now, if I’m in an outfit that has even a small piece of something I wear every day — like a belt I love or a familiar shape — it grounds me. I still get nervous, but at least I’m not wearing someone else’s clothes. That makes a big difference.

I’d rather be remembered as the woman who was a bit casual but confident and capable, than the one who wore the “right” outfit and didn’t speak up.

I’d already be thinking, “I’m not smart enough to be here,” and then I’d be wearing clothes that didn’t feel like me. I felt like an imposter in what I was wearing too.

Maureen: You just reminded me what I forgot earlier — straight-leg jeans are a lie.

Sienna: Yes! There’s not a jean that looks “straight” on me. They all turn into skinny jeans. It’s just not happening.

Maureen: Same. My thighs make that silhouette impossible. That’s why I like wide-leg jeans — it’s the closest I can get to that look.

Sienna: Exactly.

Maureen: I also love your idea about thinking in silhouettes. You can keep the same silhouette and just tweak the materials or styling to elevate it. I once saw a blogger say instead of adding a blazer to “professionalize” an outfit, start with a versatile pair of pants that can go both ways — dress up or down.

Sienna: Yes.

Maureen: I want to apply that not to workwear, but to something I’m actually struggling with — what to wear to a bridal shower. Most of my clothes are white or light denim, and I imagine everyone will be in coordinated mini skirts and heels. That’s not my style at all.

Sienna: Yeah.

Maureen: Maybe I just wear jeans — wide-leg, of course — and pair them with a heel instead of sneakers. But if you have any suggestions...

Sienna: I totally get that. It’s so relatable. Whether it’s a bridal shower or something else, we want to fit in. We picture everyone dressed a certain way and worry we’ll stand out.

But here’s what I try to remind myself: If I knew someone with a really cool, unique style, and they showed up to an event dressed like themselves, I’d admire them. I wouldn’t think, “Wow, they’re underdressed.” I’d think, “They’re confident and interesting.” I try to apply that to myself.

There’s a difference between being appropriate — like, maybe don’t wear white to a bridal shower — and trying to match everyone else’s style. If mini skirts and heels aren’t your thing, they’re not going to feel good no matter what. Instead, maybe wear your wide-leg jeans with a dressier top or a heel — something small that signals the occasion, without abandoning your style.

Maureen: And without getting too deep, I think it’s worth asking ourselves: why do I feel like I can’t show up as my full self at this event?

Sienna: Yep.

Maureen: I want to challenge that feeling before I run to the mall and buy something. I do have an idea — maybe a shirt dress in a subtle stripe, something I’d actually wear again. Something I could style over wide-leg pants for this or another occasion.

Sienna: Yeah.

Maureen: I probably will buy something, but only because I’ve identified a gap in my wardrobe — I don’t really have dresses. I’d like to own one. But if I’m shopping from a place of fear — thinking I won’t be accepted as I am — even the thing I buy might carry that energy with it.

Sienna: Totally. And if you’re buying something to fit in with one specific group, chances are that group isn’t who you spend most of your time with. So you probably won’t wear it again.

That’s been a shift for me too — instead of buying something new for every unique scenario, I ask: how can I modify what I already have? Or buy something versatile that fits into the rest of my life too.

And it’s not about saying, “I should never buy anything new.” Sometimes you do have a real gap. There’s nothing wrong with that. The key is buying with intention instead of fear — and making sure it’s not a single-use purchase.

Maureen: Totally. And going back to your earlier point — when someone shows up fully as themselves, even if it’s different from me, I love that. Like, I love how you layer a short sleeve T-shirt over a mesh lace top. It’s not my personal aesthetic, but you look so cool and comfortable doing it.

Sienna: Exactly.

Maureen: I think getting older helps us separate ourselves from the group and from the need to match everyone. When I was 19, group identity was a necessity — developmentally. But now, I can see someone wearing something totally different from me and think, “That’s so them,” and not feel the need to replicate it.

Sienna: Yeah.

Maureen: That’s one of my favorite things about aging. I can really celebrate people for who they are and feel no pressure to make their look my look.

Sienna: Yes. And it ties into something I’ve been thinking about — how much our style is shaped by our life story. I’m trying to bring back parts of how I dressed as a teenager because that felt authentic to me, and I lost it somewhere along the way.

Everything I wear now — it’s the result of everything I’ve lived. Same for everyone else. That’s why I love style. Even if we’re not doing it consciously, we’re expressing something. Even if you’re in sweatpants and a hoodie, that’s saying something.

Getting older helps us shed some of that need to conform. We start to want to be different — or at least authentic. And that’s a really good place to be.

Maureen: We’re almost out of time, and I want to ask you my favorite question: if someone is trying to build a wardrobe that feels intuitive and authentic, what advice would you give?

Sienna: First, learn to pay attention to how you actually feel in your clothes. When you put something on, all these thoughts will come up — “Do I look too big?” “Does this make me look [insert thing]?” Let those run their course. Then ask yourself: do I like this?

Do I feel something good when I look in the mirror? It sounds simple, but I used to skip that question entirely.

Second, think about where your desires are coming from. If you want a piece that shapes your body a certain way, that’s fine. But ask: is that coming from me or from an external pressure? There’s no right answer, but knowing the source helps.

When I started prioritizing pieces I loved — even if they were a little more expensive — I ended up with fewer things but a closet I actually wanted to wear.

Maureen: That’s so helpful. And even if you do “mess up,” it’s just data.

Sienna: Exactly. You’re learning. I’ve bought things recently that I’m already questioning. That doesn’t mean you failed — it’s just part of the process.

Maureen: I’d love to build on what you said about figuring out whether a choice is coming from within. One tip is to turn off your thinking brain and tune into your feeling body. Your body might communicate something your thoughts won’t.

Like, if you look in the mirror and have to force yourself to smile, your body’s telling you something. Even if your brain is saying, “This is cute,” your face might say otherwise.

Sienna: That’s so true. I remember one of your posts where you tried on a few different T-shirts. I didn’t even have to read what you wrote — the one that lit you up was obvious in the photo.

Maureen: That’s exactly what I hope to show with Intuitive Style — how paying attention to how you feel in clothes can be really simple but also really powerful. We just haven’t been taught how to listen to our bodies.

Sienna: No.

Maureen: And — not to get too political — but in a capitalist culture, especially in America, it’s not in the system’s interest for people to listen to their bodies. If your job or life requires you to ignore physical discomfort to stay productive, then tuning in becomes a threat.

Sienna: Yep. I totally agree.

Maureen: Sorry, I didn’t mean to have the last word.

Sienna: No, this has been such a cool conversation. I love how we can bounce ideas off each other and dig deeper.

Maureen: Same. I love reading your posts — I feel like we’re style foils. You’re like the goth version and I’m the preppy version — even though I don’t love that word.

Sienna: Yeah.

Maureen: We share similar silhouettes but express them so differently. It’s fun to be inspired by someone who’s similar and different.

Sienna: Exactly. 100%.

Maureen: For anyone listening, where can they find you online?

Sienna: Honestly, I’m not very active on Instagram. I think I technically have one, but I’m barely on it. The best place is my Substack — The Bronze Edit. That’s where I post whatever’s on my mind and share this ongoing journey.

Maureen: Perfect. I’ll include the link in the show notes. Thank you so much.

Sienna: Thank you, Maureen.

Outro

Thank you to our guest, Sienna Reid, for joining us today.

Intuitive Style is produced, edited and hosted by me, Maureen Welton. Our theme music is by Noir et Blanc Vie.

In case you missed it, Intuitive Style, the podcast, is an offshoot of Intuitive Style, the Substack newsletter. Head on over to Substack, search Intuitive Style, to see the newsletter, which includes thoughtful reflections on what’s happening in the fashion world, guest features, and my encouragement that you can create a wardrobe that fits your life as it is now, no judgement, no rush.

If you enjoyed this episode, please take a moment to rate and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or share this episode with someone you think might enjoy it. Don’t forget to subscribe, as new episodes drop weekly on Fridays and you can listen wherever podcasts are found.



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Intuitive StyleBy Maureen Welton