Please please PLEASE help us resolve this week's story, "Asmond and Signy," or it's going to kill us. It can't be like that. There must be meaning somewhere.

Suggested talking points: fairy space visitors, the worst pickup line, the Yorick defense, the scale of bonko, mondo pantaloons, muscle witches, the origins of words, a desperate search for answers, the undiscovered Saga, a hooping patronage, cannibal pizza, the CiCi's question

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