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In this episode, Ellen Drews joins the show to discuss what betrayal trauma looks like and different ways of healing:  what the betrayed spouse can do to heal, what the addict, betraying spouse, can do to heal and how couples can heal together.  Don't miss it and please share with someone you think would benefit from hearing this!

For a free, complimentary consultation, reach out to Ellen at:
https://ellendrews.com or email her at:  [email protected]

FANOS check-in example:
https://hopehousehealing.com/learn/fanos

See below for the SAFER check-in.
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Email: [email protected]

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SAFER check-in [by Dr. Jake Porter, Daring Ventures]
Addict goes through:
S - sobriety, "my sobriety date is..."
A - accountability, "I apologize for when I did..."
F - feelings, "this week, the emotions I felt most were..."
E - express, "I've been learning ..... about myself"
R - recovery, "For my recovery, I have a plan to do ...."

Betrayed Partner goes through:
S - safety, "my safety level today is (# 1-10)"
A - acknowledge, 
F - feelings, "this week, the emotions I felt most were..."
E - express, "I had the hardest time this week when..."
R - requests, "You can help me feel safer by..."

Check-In instructions:   Modified SAFER check-in From Jake Porter and Daring Ventures 2016                                

1. Set a designated daily time and place for the check in. Try to choose a time when you will be uninterrupted and not too tired, be consistent.

2. It is ALWAYS the recovering addict’s responsibility to initiate this check-in. Plan ahead by giving yourself a few minutes to think about what you will share, as preparation can greatly enhance the experience by making it more thoughtful and meaningful.

3. Decide whether the addict or partner will share first. The first person will share his or her complete check in. Then the second person will share his or her complete check-in.

4. While each shares his or her check in, the other should try to use talking and listening boundaries if they respond. 

5. Remember this process involves two traumatized (newly healing) people being vulnerable. Be gentle with yourselves and take a break before you come back to discuss any triggering content in greater detail.

SAFER check-in From Jake Porter NCC,CSAT,CMAT,CPC and Daring Ventures 2016