When Divorce Hits Home: How to Support Your Kids (with Therapist Lindsey Racz, LPC)

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Episode Introduction

Divorce is one of those topics that can stir big feelings for both the grown-ups and the kiddos. And if you're in the thick of it, you already know — it can feel like trying to parent while your insides are on fire.

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, I sat down with one of my favorite humans: Lindsey Racz, Licensed Professional Counselor, supervisor, women's mental health expert, co-owner of Truth & Counsel, and mom of four. Lindsey brings a rare mix of wisdom, warmth, brain science, and "here's what to actually DO" advice.

We talk:✔️ How to help kids feel secure during divorce✔️ What emotionally sturdy parenting looks like✔️ The four S's kids need (and how to give them)✔️ When to get extra support✔️ How to know if you need to do some emotional work✔️ Why self-compassion is a brain-changing superpower✔️ And the rituals, routines, and practical tools every parent can use

If you're navigating a hard season or love someone who is — this episode is packed with validation, hope, and tools you can use today.

⏱️ Timestamp Breakdown & Highlights

0:15 – Welcome + Meet Lindsey Race

• Why you're going to love her (hint: this woman knows her stuff).
• Lindsey's background in psychology, nutrition, CBT through Oxford, epigenetics & neurobiology.

3:18 – What Kids Actually Need During Divorce

• The "TDC": tough, direct conversations
• Why honest, safe conversations matter
• The four S's from attachment theory: Seen, Soothed, Safe, Secure

4:33 – How to Show Kids You're Still Their Safe Place

• Why words matter less than your presence
• Nonverbal communication that builds safety
• The power of age-appropriate vulnerability

6:10 – What Emotionally Sturdy Parenting Looks Like

• Why doing your emotional work matters
• Lindsey shares her personal divorce story as both a kid and adult
• Therapy, social support, movement, nutrition, and "crying in the bathtub" moments

8:19 – Red Flags That You're Not the Sturdy Parent Right Now

• Bad-mouthing the co-parent
• Quick anger, agitation, or "micro-cumulative" explosions
• Depression signs that often get missed
• The quiet internal voice saying, "I'm not okay"

11:24 – How to Keep Kids Grounded Between Two Homes

• Don't put scheduling on kids (ever).
• Why communication should always be parent-to-parent, never kid-to-parent.
• Personality differences in kids + how moves affect them
• The magic of simple, consistent routines (like "ice cream + Uno" nights)

16:47 – What If I Need a Moderator?

• Who to call
• Where to start
• Why professionals and advocates are key

18:00 – For the Parent Feeling Guilt or Shame

• The sticky nature of shame
• The tool Lindsey believes matters most: self-compassion
• Why perfection is impossible (and not even good for your kids)

20:44 – The Brain Science Behind Self-Compassion

• How self-talk rewires your brain
• What the research says
• The example of the "mom ball-drop moment"
• Caroline Leaf's "little dead trees" concept

28:29 – Lindsey's Personal Answer: What Emotion She's Getting Stuck In

• Emotional parenting: when your mood rides your kids' moods
• The messy beauty of raising teens
• The three-word mantra she leans on: Good Enough Parenting

31:15 – Where to Find Lindsey + Her Team

• TruthandCounsel.com
• @truthandcounsel on IG & Facebook

🌱 Key Takeaways

1. Kids don't need perfect — they need presence.

Your tone, body language, and consistency speak louder than any "right words."

2. Handle the communication (your kids shouldn't).

They didn't choose this situation, so removing the emotional burden is crucial.

3. Traditions anchor kids in uncertain seasons.

It doesn't have to be fancy. Consistency > Pinterest-worthy.

4. If you can't not speak negatively about the co-parent, it's time for deeper work.

No shame — just data for your emotional dashboard.

5. Your emotional health directly impacts your kids' emotional safety.

Therapy, rest, movement, nourishment, connection… they matter.

6. Self-compassion isn't fluffy — it's neuroscience.

It literally rewires your brain and softens shame.

7. "Good Enough Parenting" is the goal.

Not perfection. Not 100%. Not superhuman. Just good enough, most of the time, with repair when needed

🎧 CTA: Listen & Share + Grab the Divorce Conversation Guide

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Resources Mentioned- the brain benefits of journaling https://kindredmind.app/scientific-research-on-journaling/

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