If you've ever tried to explain your way out of a meltdown and watched it get worse… this episode is for you.

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, emotional wellness coach Jami Glenn explains why logic doesn't land during meltdowns, what's actually happening in your child's brain and body, and how to bring calm back online using one simple tool, one tip, and one script you can use right away.

👉 New here? Grab my free 5-video Emotional Tools 101 series.

⏱ Timestamps

• 0:00 – Welcome + what this episode covers

• 2:30 – Why explaining makes meltdowns worse

• 5:45 – What's happening in the brain during a meltdown

• 9:20 – Why logic can't land when Wise Owl is offline

• 12:30 – The "Soothe First, Talk Later" tool

• 16:30 – Fewer words, more calm (the biggest shift for parents)

• 20:45 – Scripts to use during meltdowns

• 25:10 – Common mistakes (no shame)

• 27:30 – Encouragement + next steps

🧠 What You'll Learn

• Why meltdowns are body-first, not behavior-first

• What happens when the Watchdog brain takes over

• Why logic and lectures don't work during dysregulation

• How calm opens the door for learning

• What to say instead of explaining or arguing

🧰 One Tool: Soothe First, Talk Later

When emotions are high:

1. Soothe the body (breathe, soften, lower your voice)

2. Connect ("I'm right here.")

3. Talk later — once calm returns

You can't teach a skill to a brain in survival mode.

💡 One Tip to Remember

Shorten your words. Lengthen your presence.

If your child is losing it:

• Talk less

• Stay close

• Let your calm do the work

Your regulated body becomes the calm their brain borrows.

🗣 One Script to Try

"We'll talk when your Wise Owl is back. I'm here."

Other options:

• "Let's help your body first."

• "Your brain needs a break to get calm."

💛 Encouragement

Your child isn't giving you a hard time — their brain is having a hard time. Regulation isn't permissive. It's what makes learning possible. Calm first. Teaching later.

🎧 Want Support?

If you want help applying this in your home, you can book a low-pressure discovery call using the link in the show notes. We'll talk it through and see what feels supportive for your family.

I'm rooting for you. 💛

If your child seems more regulated everywhere except at home, this episode is for you.

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, emotional wellness coach Jami Glenn explains what the Wise Owl Brain is, why it goes offline so easily, and how to support it in everyday parenting moments—without lectures or power struggles.

👉 New here? Grab my free 5-video Emotional Tools 101 series.

⏱ Timestamps

• 0:00 – Welcome + why this topic matters

• 2:15 – Why kids fall apart at home

• 5:40 – What the Wise Owl Brain is

• 9:30 – Why logic doesn't work during meltdowns

• 12:10 – The Wise Owl Check (parent tool)

• 16:45 – Building Wise Owl skills before hard moments

• 20:30 – Scripts to use at home

• 25:10 – Common mistakes (no shame)

• 27:40 – This week's practice + encouragement

🧠 What You'll Learn

• What the Wise Owl Brain (prefrontal cortex) actually does

• Why kids "lose it" where they feel safest

• One simple check to prevent escalation

• What to say when emotions are high

• Why regulation comes before teaching

🎯 One Thing to Try This Week

Choose one hard moment (mornings, bedtime, homework). Practice the Wise Owl Check for yourself before responding.

Small pauses lead to big shifts.

💛 Want Support?

If you'd like help applying this at home, you can book a low-pressure discovery call using the link in the show notes. We'll talk it through and see what feels supportive.

I'm rooting for you.

🎙 Episode 26: The January Reset for Moms — Regulating Before You React

January is supposed to feel like a fresh start—but for most moms, it actually feels exhausting.

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, emotional wellness coach Jami Glenn shares a gentler way to reset: by regulating your nervous system before you react. No life overhaul. No added routines. Just small, doable moments that create more calm and connection at home.

You'll hear:

• Why "calm kids" actually starts with a regulated mom

• A 20-second reset you can use in the moment to slow reactivity

• Simple January rhythms that support overwhelmed nervous systems

• A ready-to-use script that buys you time and teaches kids emotional regulation

If January has you feeling on edge, this episode will help you pause, breathe, and respond with more clarity and compassion.

👉 Looking for extra support? You can book a low-pressure conversation with me through the link in the show notes. We'll simply talk it through and see what feels helpful.

I'm so glad you're here—and I'm rooting for you 💛

BOOK FREE CALL HERE

3-VIDEO SERIES HERE

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, Jami Glenn invites listeners into a real, honest conversation with her daughter about big emotions—especially anger—and what truly helps kids move through them. No expert jargon. No perfectly polished parenting moments. Just a child's perspective on what feels supportive (and what doesn't) when emotions run high.

Jami's daughter shares that when anger shows up, she often goes to her room—but she doesn't want to be alone. What helps most is when her parents come into the room, sit with her, and simply listen. Not fixing. Not rushing. Just being there. She explains that being given time to breathe and use her regulation strategies makes a big difference, and that calm parental presence helps her feel less alone in hard moments.

The conversation also gently names what feels unhelpful to kids: when parents don't come in, don't listen, or when everyone in the family is dysregulated at the same time. In those moments, kids can feel ignored, which makes it even harder to calm their bodies and emotions. This episode offers parents a rare, meaningful peek into the inner world of a child and reminds us of a powerful truth: kids don't need perfect parents—they need present ones who are willing to listen first.

As the new year approaches, many families start asking the same questions: What do we want more of? What do we want less of? And how do we actually make that happen without adding one more thing to our already-full plates?

In today's short and practical episode, Jami shares one simple gratitude practice her family is intentionally adding back into their emotional wellness toolbox in 2026—and why this version of gratitude actually works.

(And no, this is not the "be thankful and stop crying" kind of gratitude. We don't do emotional bypassing around here.)

You'll hear how to build gratitude into your existing family rhythms, why it helps calm the nervous system, and how it supports emotional regulation, connection, and healthier brain patterns—for kids and parents.

Resources Mentioned: Gratitude Journal for Kids

⏱️ Episode Timestamps & Highlights

0:09 – Why this conversation matters right now Looking ahead to the new year: what to add, what to take away, and why small rhythms matter more than big resolutions.

2:15 – The gratitude myth (and what gratitude is not) Why gratitude sometimes gets a bad rap—and how "just focus on the good" can actually backfire.

4:05 – The family gratitude practice we used (and loved) A simple, three-minute journaling rhythm plugged into bedtime—no pressure, no forcing, no homework vibes.

7:10 – Why modeling matters more than making it mandatory How this practice was "caught, not taught," and why that made all the difference.

10:45 – What happened when life got hard Why the practice fell away during a tough season—and why we're intentionally bringing it back.

13:30 – The science behind gratitude (the parts that actually matter) How gratitude:

• calms the nervous system

• lowers stress hormones

• increases emotional regulation

• interrupts negativity bias

18:40 – Gratitude and emotional language How this practice builds emotional awareness, vocabulary, and quicker regulation in hard moments.

22:15 – Teaching kids "both/and" thinking Why gratitude helps kids hold mixed emotions without black-and-white thinking.

25:40 – Gratitude strengthens connection How shared gratitude increases bonding, safety, and predictable moments of connection.

28:00 – The two questions every family can ask for the new year You don't need a full planning system—just one clear question and one doable rhythm.

🧠 Key Takeaways

• Gratitude is a skill, not a personality trait

• You don't need more time—just a better rhythm

• Gratitude works best when it's optional, modeled, and low-pressure

• It helps calm the nervous system without dismissing hard emotions

• Small, consistent practices create long-term emotional resilience

🌱 A Simple Question to Try This Week

Ask yourself (or your family):

• What do we want more of in 2026?

• What's one small rhythm that could support that?

And on the flip side:

• What do we want less of?

• What needs to come off the calendar—or out of our language—to make space?

💛 Want More Support Like This?

If conversations like this resonate with you, you'll love the Same Page Parenting Workshop—where we help families get aligned, clear, and calm using practical tools and shared language.

👉 Stay tuned for the next workshop date 👉 Or email me at [email protected] and tell me:

• what you're adding to your year

• or what you're ready to let go of

I'd love to hear from you.

Christmas break is magical… and also a lot. Cold weather, packed schedules, sibling conflict, and nowhere to burn off energy can turn emotions big fast.

In this short, cozy episode of Emotions with Ease, I'm joined by a very special guest — our daughter— to share real, kid-approved tools for emotional regulation when going outside isn't an option.

These are simple, practical strategies we actually use in our home to help kids move through big feelings and return to calm — without yelling, screens as the only solution, or pretending emotions don't exist.

Resources Mentioned: Worry Strategy Cards from Counselor Keri

⏱️ Episode Timestamps & Highlights

2:00 – Why Going Outside Helps Regulate Emotions Movement matters — but what happens when you're stuck inside?

4:00 – Tool #1: The ABC Grounding Game Naming things you can see from A to Z to calm anxiety and refocus the brain.

6:30 – Tool #2: The Mindful Minute (5-4-3-2-1 Senses) Using the five senses to come back to the present moment.

9:00 – Tool #3: Deep Belly Breathing + Cuddling Co-regulation, connection, and calming the Watchdog brain.

12:00 – Tool #4: Dance It Out Why blasting music (yes, even Adele) helps release emotional energy.

14:30 – Bonus Idea: "The Floor Is Lava" Creative movement that gets wiggles out without leaving the house.

16:00 – Encouragement for Parents You don't need perfect days — you just need tools.

🧰 Emotional Regulation Tools Shared in This Episode 🧠 ABC Grounding Game

• Name something you see starting with A, then B, then C…

• Helps shift the brain out of anxiety and back into the present moment

👀 Mindful Minute (5-4-3-2-1)

• 5 things you see 4 things you hear 3 things you smell 2 things you touch 1 thing you taste

💛 Deep Belly Breathing + Cuddling with a Co-Regulator (aka- parent)

• Hand on heart or belly Slow breaths from the diaphragm Co-regulation calms the amygdala (aka the Watchdog brain)

🎶 Dance Breaks

• Crank up Siri Choose one song per person Big movement helps release emotional energy fast

🛋️ Creative Movement Indoors

• Pillows on the floor "The Floor Is Lava" Jumping, balancing, laughing = regulation

🌱 Key Takeaways for Parents

• Emotional regulation doesn't stop during winter — it just needs creativity

• Body movement is one of the fastest ways to calm big emotions Co-regulation (your calm helping their calm) matters deeply

• You don't need more discipline — you need more tools

• Kids can learn to name and use tools when they're taught in calm moments

💬 A Gentle Reminder

Big emotions don't mean you're doing something wrong. They mean your child's nervous system needs support.

And the good news? You already have what you need — tools, connection, and presence.

If this episode was helpful:

• Share it with another parent navigating Christmas break

• Save it for the next rainy or freezing day

• Try one tool this week — that's enough

And if you want more tools like these, head to my website for workshops, courses, and family-friendly emotional wellness resources.

Rooting for you — and wishing you a cozy, regulated holiday season. 🎄💛

Christmas is supposed to be meaningful… But sometimes it just feels loud, fast, and one school party away from tears (yours or theirs).

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, I'm joined by my dear friend, mentor, and spiritual formation expert Jennifer Freeman to talk about what spiritual formation for families actually looks like in real life—beyond church attendance, Bible reading plans, or adding one more thing to your plate.

We talk about integration over perfection, how emotional wellness and faith overlap, and simple, practical ways to help kids experience God as safe, present, and trustworthy—even in seasons of anxiety, grief, and overwhelm.

If you've ever wondered:

• Am I doing enough spiritually for my kids?

• Why doesn't "just pray about it" seem to help my anxious child?

• How do I model faith when I feel spiritually dry myself?

You're in the right place. Pull up a chair. 💛

Meet My Guest: Jennifer Freeman

Jennifer Freeman is a spiritual mentor, speaker, and longtime leader in Christian formation. She served for 25 years as Director of Christian Formation at College of the Ozarks and is the creator of Rooted Families, a beautifully practical resource designed to help children and caregivers grow together in faith from infancy through college.

She brings wisdom, calm, and a whole lot of grace to this conversation—and yes, she once tried to teach me how to cook (we'll just say… eggs were involved 🥚).

Timestamps & Highlights

00:02 – Why Christmas feels meaningful and overwhelming 05:19 – What spiritual formation really is (hint: it's shaping, not cramming information) 08:38 – Why faith works best when it's integrated into daily life 12:10 – "You can't give your kids what you don't have yourself" 15:33 – Using nature, bedtime, and daily rhythms to point kids back to God 19:38 – Advent, waiting, and helping kids learn patience without lectures 25:22 – Emotional wellness + faith: why big feelings belong with God 31:55 – Bible journaling, art, and body-based ways kids can experience faith 33:27 – When "just pray and memorize a verse" isn't enough 47:37 – For parents who feel spiritually dry: start with silence (just 3 minutes) 55:40 – Jennifer's go-to anxiety regulation tool (body + belief together) 58:00 – How to access Rooted Families resources (they're free!)

Key Takeaways for Parents

• Spiritual formation isn't an add-on. It's meant to be woven into everyday life.

• Kids are shaped more by what they love than what they're told to believe.

• Faith needs to be strong and flexible enough to hold questions, doubt, and change.

• Emotional wellness and spiritual formation are deeply connected.

• When kids struggle with anxiety or worry, giving them only prayer and memorization can unintentionally create shame.

• God is not a vending machine—and kids need help understanding His character, not just His rules.

• Silence (even a few minutes) is one of the most powerful spiritual practices we overlook.

Practical Tools You Can Try This Week

✔ Name emotions + bring them to God (nothing is off-limits in prayer) ✔ Use concrete images kids understand: light, bread, nature, waiting ✔ Invite faith conversations with questions, not lectures ✔ Try body-based tools: drawing, painting, movement, sorting objects ✔ Practice micro-silence: in the car, shower, before bed, or while sipping coffee ✔ At bedtime, thank God out loud for your kids—it builds safety and trust

Resources Mentioned

• Rooted Families: rootedfamilies.cfo.edu

• Jennifer Freeman: jenniferfreeman.co

• The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

• The Book of Belonging (family devotional)

• The Whole-Brain Child by Dan Siegel

• Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel

If this episode gave you a deep breath, a new perspective, or even just permission to stop striving—share it with a friend who needs the same reminder.

✨ And if you're craving more practical tools AND my favorite parenting book list, be sure to snag it HERE.

You don't need to do this perfectly. You just need roots deep enough to grow. 🌱

Motherhood can feel so isolating… even when you technically "have friends."

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, I sit down with my friend Christina Carpenter—coach, conference host, community-builder, and all-around connector of women—to talk about what real, life-giving mom community actually looks like (and how to find it without adding more guilt to your plate).

We talk about:

• Why some friendships still feel lonely

• How to define what you want from community

• What to do if your "well feels dry" and you're starting from empty

• How to show up for struggling friends in ways that actually help

• The power of being seen, validated, and invited in

We also chat about Bloom & Blossom's Evergreen Retreat (where I'll be speaking! 🙋‍♀️), book club, crunchy Christmas events, and super practical ways to get yourself in the room with other moms—even if you're exhausted, introverted, or brand new.

This episode is your gentle nudge: you're not meant to do this alone.

🌱 Key Takeaways

• Community is emotional regulation. We aren't meant to process motherhood, grief, overwhelm, and decisions alone. Being seen and validated is deeply regulating.

• You get to define what community looks like for you. A monthly book club, one deep friend, a small group, retreat weekends—there's no "right" version.

• Managing expectations protects your friendships. Be honest about your capacity. Be clear about how often you can talk, meet, or text back—and give the same grace to others.

• Love languages work for friendships too. Some friends need words, some need quality time, some need gifts or acts of service. Use that lens to support them when they're struggling.

• You may need to dig the well before you're thirsty. Investing in community when things are "fine" means you have relational equity when life hits hard.

• If you can't find your people in an existing space… you might be the one to create it. A simple book club, park meetup, or small group can grow into something beautiful.

🔔 Take One Brave Step Toward Community

If your heart is whispering, "I'm lonely" or "I want that," this is your invitation:

1️⃣ Join Christina's Community

• Find her on Facebook & Instagram:

  • Authentic Joy in the Journey

  • Bloom and Blossom Conference / Bloom & Blossom community group

• Look for book club announcements and local gatherings.

2️⃣ Grab Your Ticket to the Evergreen Retreat

Want a whole weekend to breathe, reset, and connect with other moms? Christina's Evergreen Retreat (Bloom & Blossom Conference) is coming up—and I'll be speaking there!

👉 Go to christinacarpenter.org and look for the Evergreen Retreat to grab your ticket.

3️⃣ Share This Episode With a Mom Friend

If someone came to mind while you were reading this, send her the episode and simply say:

"Hey, I'd love to be more intentional about community with you."

You're not behind. You're not too late. You are worthy of support, friendship, and a community that says, "I see you." 💛

If you're tired of feeling out of sync—different expectations, different discipline styles, different priorities—this is your moment. Join us for the Same Page Parenting Workshop, our last workshop of the year.

✨ Grab the free Back-to-School Worry Toolkit for calm mornings and confident kids! Come hang out with me on Instagram @sacredgroundcoaching for more tools like this!

Ever look up and think, "How did we get here?"

That, my friend, is called missional drift—and every family experiences it when life gets busy, schedules get wild, and you're parenting on autopilot.

In today's episode, I'm taking you behind the scenes of how Justin and I create our Family Values Method—the exact process we use every year during our end-of-year reflection getaway (yes, two nerds and a hotel room… but make it meaningful).

I'll walk you through:✔️ Why every family needs clearly defined values✔️ How values keep your home grounded during chaos✔️ Our 7 Glenn Family Values (and the daily moments that shaped them)✔️ How these values guide discipline, decisions, and sibling dynamics✔️ How to create your own list in a way that's simple, fun, and actually works

And if you've been feeling a little out of sync with your co-parent lately, this episode is your warm nudge toward clarity, connection, and (finally) getting on the same page.

⏱️ Timestamps & Episode Highlights

0:00 – Why We Started an End-of-Year Planning Tradition Renting a hotel room, ditching the distractions, and creating a marriage/family game plan.

1:54 – The Method Behind Our Same Page Parenting Workshop How our yearly reflection routine turned into a workshop we now teach to other parents.

3:12 – Why Families Need Values Just Like Businesses Do Understanding family culture; avoiding missional drift; how daily decisions shape long-term direction.

5:40 – What "Missional Drift" Really Means The small, everyday misalignments that pull families off track—and how values bring you back.

7:05 – How We Ask the Big "Culture Questions" What do we want our home to feel like? What do we want our kids' friends to say about being in our home?

9:00 – Our 7 Glenn Family Values (Deep Dive + Real-Life Examples)

• Clear Is Kind (thanks, Brené Brown)
• Eat the Frog (hello, Mark Twain + math homework)
• Life or Death (the power of our words)
• Open Hands (flexibility + generosity)
• Lead With Gratitude (especially at dinnertime)
• Same Team (the phrase we use constantly)
• Make Your Circle Bigger (kindness, inclusion, and raising good humans)

20:17 – How These Values Shape Daily Decisions From chores to friendships to tone of voice—values become the go-to coaching tool.

23:05 – Why These Values Haven't Changed (Even Though They Could) Reevaluating yearly; keeping them meaningful rather than decorative.

26:10 – What It Looks Like to Create Your Own Family Values Getting granular, choosing values that matter, and including every family member.

28:55 – Want Help Creating Your Family Values? Join the Same Page Parenting Workshop A quick overview of what you'll walk away with in just two hours.

🌱 Key Takeaways

• Every family has a culture—values just make it intentional. Without clear values, families drift toward habits, stress responses, and default patterns.
• Values keep the "train on the tracks." They guide daily decisions, relationship repairs, discipline strategies, and the tone of your home.
• Kids rise to the values they help create. When children participate in choosing the values, they take ownership of them.
• Your values don't have to be fancy—they just have to be real. "Eat the Frog" and "Same Team" are two of ours, and they work beautifully.
• Reviewing values yearly helps prevent misalignment. Life changes, kids grow, and your values can grow with your family.

💛 Ready to Get on the Same Page With Your Co-Parent?

If you're tired of feeling out of sync—different expectations, different discipline styles, different priorities—this is your moment.

Join us for the Same Page Parenting Workshop, our last workshop of the year.

What you'll get in two hours:

• A clear list of family values unique to your home
• A simple yearly planning method (the one Justin and I swear by)
• Alignment in discipline, expectations, communication, and routines
• Practical tools you can use immediately
• A sense of calm, clarity, and "we're actually doing this together"

👉 Snag your seat here (insert link) Two hours. Two seats (you + your co-parent). $60 total. Clarity + connection = totally worth it.

Will vs Skill: The Parenting Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

And if worry is a frequent guest at your house, don't forget to grab my free Worry Toolkit. It's 10 days of quick, practical tools to help your whole family live with more ease and less anxiety—straight to your inbox.

Episode Introduction

Ever catch yourself thinking, "My kid is just being lazy / rude / defiant"… and then immediately feel your chest tighten and your tone get sharp?

In this episode of Emotions with Ease, I'm unpacking one of my all-time favorite parenting mindset shifts: Will vs Skill. It's a simple question that can totally change how you see your child's behavior and how you respond to it:

Is this a will issue (they won't)… or a skill issue (they can't yet)?

I'll walk you through real-life examples (homework battles, sass, messes, and even kid-sized lying), and show you how shifting from "They won't" to "They don't know how… yet" gives you clear next steps, more compassion, and way less shame—for both of you.

⏱️ Timestamps & Highlights 0:02 – Welcome & Why This Mindset Shift Matters

• Introduction to the Will vs Skill concept

• How Jami first learned it at a TBRI conference as a school counselor

• The moment she thought, "Oh… this changes everything"

1:18 – Will vs Skill: What Are We Talking About?

• The difference between:

  • Will issue → won't do it

  • Skill issue → can't yet do it

• Why this is both a mindset shift and a paradigm shift for parents

• How this tool can disrupt cycles of anger, frustration, and power struggles

2:38 – When We Assume It's "Will": Where We Get Stuck

• Common parent thoughts:

  • "She's just being lazy."

  • "He's so disrespectful."

  • "She's doing this just to annoy me."

• How our bodies react:

  • Tight chest

  • Sharper tone

  • "Battle of control" spiral

• Why "They're just lazy/defiant" leaves you with no helpful next step

3:51 – The Shift: What If It's Actually a Skill Issue?

• Reframing: "They can't yet" instead of "They won't"

• Possible missing skills:

  • Self-regulation

  • Motivation

  • Organization

  • Communication

  • Empathy

• Why skill issues always offer a next step (teach, model, practice)

5:25 – The Bike-Riding Analogy

• You'd never say, "My kid just doesn't want to balance."

• You'd notice: they need help, guidance, and practice

• Applying that same compassion to emotional and behavioral skills

6:40 – Real-Life Example #1: The 12-Year-Old Who Won't Do Homework

• Will lens:

  • "He's lazy."

  • "He doesn't care about school."

  • "He's unmotivated."

  • Next step = grounding, screens removed, lots of control + lectures

• Skill lens:

  • Maybe it's organization (tornado backpack, no systems)

  • Maybe it's time management (no plan for time after practice)

  • Maybe it's confusion (he actually needs a tutor)

• How assuming "skill" opens up better questions and more helpful support

8:54 – Real-Life Example #2: The 8-Year-Old With Attitude

• Directive: "Hey babe, it's time to feed the dog."

• Response: eye roll, "You feed the dog."

• Will lens: "She's rude. She's disrespectful." → no real next step

• Skill lens:

  • She might be missing the skill of expressing disagreement respectfully

  • She may be overwhelmed with too many directives at once

• Practical coaching script:

  • "I'd like your tone to match my tone."

  • Giving her exact words to use instead ("Mom, can you give me one thing at a time?")

12:49 – Real-Life Example #3: "My Kid Never Cleans Up Unless I Nag"

• Parent story: "I always have to tell him five times."

• Will lens: He's lazy. He doesn't care.

• Skill lens:

  • Missing executive functioning skills (sequencing, planning)

  • Missing time awareness

  • Needs help with transitions (e.g., 60-second warnings before cleanup)

• How to scaffold and build these skills instead of just nagging

14:43 – You Won't Nail It Every Time (And That's Okay)

• Sometimes you'll guess the wrong skill—no big deal

• You adjust, try another angle, and keep problem-solving

• Parenting as a puzzle without the picture on the box

• Bringing your kid into the conversation:

  • "I know you're not lazy. I see you on the soccer field."

  • "What skill do you think might be missing here?"

16:45 – Why This Removes Shame (and Why That Matters)

• Labeling kids as "lazy" or "defiant" creates shame, not motivation

• Shame sits at the lowest emotional frequency and shuts kids down

• Seeing behavior as a skill gap turns it into:

  • A problem we solve together

  • A chance to build confidence and competence

17:53 – Brain Science Moment: Wise Owl Brain & Regulation

• When kids are dysregulated (angry, overwhelmed, shut down), their Wise Owl brain (prefrontal cortex) goes offline

• In those moments, they literally cannot access their best skills

• Order of operations:

  1. Regulate first (co-regulate with them)

  2. Teach the skill later once they're calm

19:12 – Real-Life Example #4: The "Tiny Lie" and the Redo

• Jami's story of her child adding details to a story that didn't happen

• The fork in the road:

  • "She's a liar" (will) → shame spiral + power struggle

  • "This is a skill issue" → opportunity to practice truth-telling

• The powerful tool of a redo:

  • Offering a do-over

  • Re-enacting the conversation

  • Celebrating: "You are a truth-teller."

23:52 – Weekly Tool: Your New Go-To Question

• When frustration hits, ask: 👉 "Is this a will issue or a skill issue?"

• Then assume skill so you can:

  • Find a clear next step

  • Teach, model, and practice with your child

  • Remove shame from the equation

• Reminder: wait until their Wise Owl brain is back online before teaching

25:25 – Wrap-Up & Encouragement

• Will vs Skill helps you:

  • Parent with more ease

  • Lead with grace and compassion

  • Still hold your family values

• This tool works at any age and in any season of parenting

🔑 Key Takeaways

• "Will vs Skill" is a game-changing parenting lens. When you assume skill instead of will, you get clarity, compassion, and next steps.

• If it's a skill issue, there is always a next step. You can teach, model, practice, scaffold, and support.

• If you treat it as a will issue, you often end up with shame and power struggles. Labels like "lazy," "rude," and "defiant" shut kids (and parents) down.

• Big behavior usually points to a missing skill, not a broken character. Think: organization, time management, emotional regulation, communication, empathy, executive functioning.

• Regulate first, teach later. A dysregulated brain can't access its best skills. Help them calm, then coach.

• Redos are powerful. They let kids practice the skill you actually want—without the shame storm.

• Assuming skill protects your relationship. It keeps you and your child on the same team, solving a problem together.

📣 Strong CTA (Call to Action)

If this episode helped you exhale and think, "Okay, I can do this differently," would you:

👉 Share it with one parenting friend who's stuck in the "they just won't listen" loop? 👉 Screenshot and tag me on Instagram @sacredgroundcoaching with your favorite takeaway?

Keywords: will vs skill, parenting mindset shift, child behavior, kids big emotions, emotional regulation for kids, TBRI, positive parenting tools