Stepmum Space

Episode 18: “You Don’t Have to Be the Hero”: Lessons From a Stepmum With 20 Years’ Experience


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For stepmum support, tools, workshops and coaching, visit: https://stepmumspace.com

If you’ve ever pushed your own needs aside, tried to be “the perfect stepmum,” or carried emotions you didn’t feel allowed to express, this episode will feel like a deep breath out. Helen shares two decades of stepmum wisdom — the mistakes, the regrets, the breakthroughs — and the powerful reminder that you don’t have to be the hero to everyone else.

In this episode, Katie talks to Helen, a stepmum veteran with 20 years of experience. Today, Helen enjoys a strong marriage and a close, loving relationship with her adult stepchildren — but the journey wasn’t easy. She opens up about the jealousy, anger and resentment she buried for years, the boundaries she wishes she’d set sooner, and the self-compassion she’s finally learned to give herself.

Together, they explore the importance of asking for what you want, owning your needs, and recognising that looking after yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential.

Thank you Helen, for your honesty, humour and heart.

In This Episode We Explore:

  • Why so many stepmums try to be the “hero” at their own expense
  • The emotions Helen hid for years — and how they affected the family dynamic
  • What she wishes she’d done differently (and what she’d do again)
  • Why you must ask for what you want — clearly and without apology
  • How relationships with stepkids can transform over time
  • The importance of compassion, boundaries and self-respect
  • What 20 years of hindsight teaches you about stepmum stress

If You Need Support
Book a free introductory coaching call: https://www.stepmumspace.com/booking

Learn more about Katie’s work: https://stepmumspace.com

Keywords:
stepmum advice, experienced stepmum, 20 years stepmum, stepmum resentment, stepmum boundaries, asking for what you need, stepmum self-care, blended family wisdom, struggling stepmum, stepmum podcast, emotional support for stepmums

Helpful Links:
Stepmum Space website: https://stepmumspace.com

Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 Coaching & Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com

You don’t have to carry everything. You’re allowed to take up space, ask for more, and look after yourself too.

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Stepmum SpaceBy Katie South