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Episode 18: “You Don’t Have to Be the Hero”: Lessons From a Stepmum With 20 Years’ Experience
For stepmum support, tools, workshops and coaching, visit: https://stepmumspace.com
If you’ve ever pushed your own needs aside, tried to be “the perfect stepmum,” or carried emotions you didn’t feel allowed to express, this episode will feel like a deep breath out. Helen shares two decades of stepmum wisdom — the mistakes, the regrets, the breakthroughs — and the powerful reminder that you don’t have to be the hero to everyone else.
In this episode, Katie talks to Helen, a stepmum veteran with 20 years of experience. Today, Helen enjoys a strong marriage and a close, loving relationship with her adult stepchildren — but the journey wasn’t easy. She opens up about the jealousy, anger and resentment she buried for years, the boundaries she wishes she’d set sooner, and the self-compassion she’s finally learned to give herself.
Together, they explore the importance of asking for what you want, owning your needs, and recognising that looking after yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential.
Thank you Helen, for your honesty, humour and heart.
In This Episode We Explore:
- Why so many stepmums try to be the “hero” at their own expense
- The emotions Helen hid for years — and how they affected the family dynamic
- What she wishes she’d done differently (and what she’d do again)
- Why you must ask for what you want — clearly and without apology
- How relationships with stepkids can transform over time
- The importance of compassion, boundaries and self-respect
- What 20 years of hindsight teaches you about stepmum stress
If You Need Support
Book a free introductory coaching call: https://www.stepmumspace.com/booking
Learn more about Katie’s work: https://stepmumspace.com
Keywords:
stepmum advice, experienced stepmum, 20 years stepmum, stepmum resentment, stepmum boundaries, asking for what you need, stepmum self-care, blended family wisdom, struggling stepmum, stepmum podcast, emotional support for stepmums
Helpful Links:
Stepmum Space website: https://stepmumspace.com
Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 Coaching & Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com
You don’t have to carry everything. You’re allowed to take up space, ask for more, and look after yourself too.
Support the show
View all episodes
By Katie SouthFor stepmum support, tools, workshops and coaching, visit: https://stepmumspace.com
If you’ve ever pushed your own needs aside, tried to be “the perfect stepmum,” or carried emotions you didn’t feel allowed to express, this episode will feel like a deep breath out. Helen shares two decades of stepmum wisdom — the mistakes, the regrets, the breakthroughs — and the powerful reminder that you don’t have to be the hero to everyone else.
In this episode, Katie talks to Helen, a stepmum veteran with 20 years of experience. Today, Helen enjoys a strong marriage and a close, loving relationship with her adult stepchildren — but the journey wasn’t easy. She opens up about the jealousy, anger and resentment she buried for years, the boundaries she wishes she’d set sooner, and the self-compassion she’s finally learned to give herself.
Together, they explore the importance of asking for what you want, owning your needs, and recognising that looking after yourself isn’t selfish — it’s essential.
Thank you Helen, for your honesty, humour and heart.
In This Episode We Explore:
- Why so many stepmums try to be the “hero” at their own expense
- The emotions Helen hid for years — and how they affected the family dynamic
- What she wishes she’d done differently (and what she’d do again)
- Why you must ask for what you want — clearly and without apology
- How relationships with stepkids can transform over time
- The importance of compassion, boundaries and self-respect
- What 20 years of hindsight teaches you about stepmum stress
If You Need Support
Book a free introductory coaching call: https://www.stepmumspace.com/booking
Learn more about Katie’s work: https://stepmumspace.com
Keywords:
stepmum advice, experienced stepmum, 20 years stepmum, stepmum resentment, stepmum boundaries, asking for what you need, stepmum self-care, blended family wisdom, struggling stepmum, stepmum podcast, emotional support for stepmums
Helpful Links:
Stepmum Space website: https://stepmumspace.com
Instagram: @stepmumspace
1:1 Coaching & Couples Coaching: https://stepmumspace.com
You don’t have to carry everything. You’re allowed to take up space, ask for more, and look after yourself too.
Support the show