We are always looking for signs of domestic violence, but we hear them more often than we see them. Domestic violence doesn’t always look like broken bones and bruises. I was living in domestic abuse and I didn’t even know it. ~ Dr. Jennifer Gardella

Do you know anyone who is experiencing domestic abuse? Are you sure?

As Dr. Jennifer Gardella aptly notes, domestic abuse is not always visible. In fact, if we listen, we can “hear” domestic abuse more often than we can see it.

Cutting through all areas of class, education or outward success, many women are experiencing domestic abuse, but because they don’t have the physical bruises to show for it, they themselves don’t always recognize that they are living with domestic violence.

In her new book, Listen for the Whispers of Abuse, Dr. Gardella, herself a victim of domestic abuse, offers signs of abuse including:

• Feeling you are always “walking on eggshells” around your partner.
• Having no control over your money or your personal schedule.
• Not being allowed to make decisions.
• Being told you are “crazy” or being yelled at for somehow not measuring up to your partner’s expectations.

Here at Brilliantly Resilient, we know the importance of a tribe. If you suspect a loved one is experiencing domestic abuse, here are some of Dr. Gardella’s suggestions to lend support to the victim:

• “If you hear any inkling of ‘I need to get out of here’ start to talk to your loved one about safety planning.”
• “Let her know that wherever she is on her journey, you are a safe space and will support her no matter what.”
• “Reach out to other friends and ask ‘Are we all seeing this?’”
• “Drip information whenever you can.”

Be sure to tune into this episode of The Brilliantly Resilient podcast, get Dr. Gardella’s book, and call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 for more information.

Let’s be Brilliantly Resilient together!

XO,

Kristin & Mary Fran