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A few years after the targeting of my person and property and work began in 2009,  I wrestled with the shock of knowing that I had joined the endless list of citizens that are being brutally targeted by a militia of assailants who are highly trained ex military, ex intelligence and otherwise experts in the field of strategically targeting individuals.  We are targeted for a plethora of reasons. My lifelong educational work has been under the radar, where I have made profound strides in helping people to deal from devastation, despair and disease while raising awareness in accord with the ancient Vedic science of life. But somewhere in time, I was spotted by certain powerful groups who considered my work challenging to their agenda of controlling the narrative of health, healing and the supremacy over earth’s intelligence. Or perhaps, they just hated that this brown skinned intelligent woman appeared to be arrogantly sojourning her own way with a free mind and open spirit. In Vedic tradition, karma is explicitly defined as unfolding by cosmic laws, I had to wrap my mind around the idea that before taking this birth my soul had signed up for a specific purpose and path of truth that would be riddled with obstacles. Indeed, the mind would not have registered for this deeply wounding journey peppered with violations across layers of the body, mind, spirit and space. 

It took me 14 years to share this deeply wounded story - the mired depths of it where horrors are transformed into lessons that serve the greater good of humanity.  I needed to scour beneath the dirge of it, put it in perspective, and allow myself to grow into the woman I am becoming instead of being withered by the experience. Just spouting off about the relentless daily/ nightly activities of being  targeted for the past 14 years would have offered no wisdom to help others.  unresolved traumas when unconsciously shared simply leach feeling of joy, resolve, and ease.  When every sentient part of your inner and outer space is plundered in the  way that mine has been, there is a deep sense of shame aroused by the violence - shame and grief connected to the vasanas  of  ancestors.   In Advaita Vedanta, we understand that perception is creation, that the act of seeing creates what we see. That the world rises at the same time that it perceived. Therefore the overarching truth of all that happens to us first starts within. Vasanas are seed tendencies that have been inculcated by ancestors. If the survivalism  seeds of fear, angst have been honed in generation DNA, what we inherit will continue to play out in our lives. Unless, we become aware of that what we project, manifests- the principle of Drishti Srishti Vada. Therefore the first truth to fathom in this episode is that all I share with you here has a source connection to my ancestral vasana. This statement does not condone the violent action of others, it simply provides a handle to the casual source within, that source to which we must continually return to air grievance, and heal. When attacks against us are relentless, it tends to leave no room for us to pause, for to forgive requires inner space. The only open door under these circumstances is to dive within….take stock of the vasanas you are harboring. It helps to create a more harmonious reality, from which you can grow and strengthen through the impossible.  Caroline Rena, the podcast host of Awakening S

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