On the one hand, this week the intro (some of the audio of which is taken from Kevin Smith's 1994 indie hit Clerks) feels more appropriate than ever.

 
On the other hand, it could have been fun if I took the time to customize an opening that integrated the line from the Clerks animated series: "What follows is the fabled lost pilot to Clerks..."
 
On yet another hand? Apparently the audio cut out for the first syllable of the introduction that DID make it in, meaning that if I had done ANYTHING special it would have been an improvement over my "hello" being truncated to "'lo."
 
This is quite possibly the longest attempt ever made at making sense of the live-action Clerks pilot (which the fandom sometimes called Saved By the Clerks because of how much it owes to other shabby '90s sitcoms).

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