Intuitive Style podcast is back and better than ever!

I took a break over the summer to rest, rejuvenate, and overhaul my recording method from top-to-bottom! We’re talking: new backdrop, haircut, logo, audio-set-up and even a new theme song created specifically for the show! While working a full-time job and continuing to write this newsletter. So when I say I took a break, I am speaking aspirationally.

That said, we have an exciting series ahead with episodes featuring Substack gems Harriet Hadfield, and OFELIA (and way more!) plus a few new faces you’ll be sure to love.

Despite my best attempts, this podcast continues to be 100% reader supported. If you enjoy what we’re doing here, please consider sharing with someone you think would love the show so we can get the word out!

Onto the show…

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

Welcome

Welcome back to Season 2 of the Intuitive Style Podcast!

I'm Maureen McLennon Welton. I can't wait for you to see these episodes. I think it's going to be a fabulous season, kicking off with our guest today, Asta / Aastha. This is a great conversation. I think you're really going to enjoy getting to know her a little bit better.

And this podcast is entirely community supported. So please consider liking, sharing, subscribing, and really just getting the word out there so that more people can find this show.

And without further ado, let's get into the episode!

Maureen: You're listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe that everyone has style. I'm Maureen Welton. In conversation with fantastic guests, we explore how to tap into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully.

Today's guest is Aastha, the author behind the fabulous Substack Fit Happens—which is of course a fabulous name. Aastha loves wearing the brand Tibi, styling clothes in different ways, sharing about color mixing and silhouette, and chatting about weird shoes. Aastha, welcome to the show.

Aastha: Thank you, thank you, and thank you for the introduction.

Maureen: I feel that your newsletter, Fit Happens, is a good foil for mine in the way that you seem to have really honed the skill of dressing intuitively and do it with relative ease. Can you share a little bit about what dressing intuitively means to you and how you foster that sensibility?

Aastha: Yes, yes, for sure. But before I jump into the answer, I do want to say just a few words to embarrass you a little bit, Maureen, because I'm just such a big fan of everything that you're doing. And I really appreciate your vulnerability in how you put yourself out there.

I've been a big fan of your podcast too, and I really appreciate how welcoming you make the space for everyone and hold space for everyone. That’s why I was very excited to do this. So I wanted to officially do that after you start the recording—so you cannot take it out. So don’t take this out.

Now, let me answer the question.

So, it’s something that… just the idea of living intuitively has been very important to me for, I don’t know, like 15, 20 years at this point. And I don’t even remember what sparked that. But in terms of what it means to dress, it’s about—there is so much out there that tells you what is right, what is wrong. And there is no objective truth about how you dress, but also about how you live. Like, the kind of decisions you make. For example, I am here in Los Angeles and my family is in India, which means I’m probably not going to see my parents that many times in my lifetime. But who’s to say whether that’s right or wrong? That’s just a very big example to begin with.

But truly, there are so many decisions you need to make for your own life where there is no objective way to say what is right or what is wrong. And to actually be living a life where you don’t have regrets, it’s so important that you tap into your intuition and what feels right in that moment.

And intuitive style and intuitive dressing to me is just a capsule form of that exact same idea—that you wear what feels right in that moment. And as long as it feels right, you’re going to have a good day and you’re not going to worry too much about, “is this right or is this wrong?”

Even if I look back at my style five years ago, ten years ago, fifteen years ago—I don’t have any regrets, because I know it felt right in that moment. Who cares if it doesn’t feel right now? If I had fun in that moment, that’s enough.

It’s kind of like: if you have fun in the present, the past and the future take care of themselves.

Maureen: I was going to ask about the regret of it all—you already answered. So what I heard from that is basically the only way to prevent future regret, which is this scary intangible thing we can’t predict, is by trusting that we’re making the best choices in the moment. And if we change our minds later, that doesn’t mean anything about what we did in the past.

Aastha: No, no, it doesn’t. And also, I think when you live long enough, you realize you will change your mind. That is normal, right? So if that’s going to happen anyway, why worry too much about it? When people ask me for career advice, I usually say, just do what feels good to you in the moment. Because if you have fun every day, you will also be having fun every day in the future, right? So the future takes care of itself if you just focus on the present, basically.

Maureen: I did a meditation before this, so it's really ringing true for me. No, I love this—such a good way to explain dressing intuitively. I know we'll talk about it more throughout the call.

Switching gears slightly, I love to talk about the Tibi of it all. I know that Tibi, the brand—you’re not affiliated with them, you don’t use affiliate links—but you mostly or very often wear their clothing. And I just think it's so interesting, to me and to other people, to see someone really living authentically with a particular brand. That's also, like, sometimes divisive, as I think you’ve shared on your social media and on Substack.

So I’d just like to hear a little bit more about the origin—how you found Tibi and what it is about that brand that resonates with you so much?

Aastha: Yeah, it's such a great question. It is a big part of my style life for sure, and my closet, right? To the point where, because I'm a big Indyx user too—and you know how you can choose whether you want to see the brand names or the item names—the default is brand name. And I was like, that is useless to me because all I’ll see is Tibi, Tibi, Tibi. That does nothing for me. So I changed it to item name.

But the thing about me is that I really, really dislike searching for things, shopping, and trying on different things—figuring out what's going to work and what's not. I just feel so frustrated when I have to spend time doing that. I think it's such a waste of time and there are so many other things that I’d rather be doing.

In the past, I think pretty early on, I learned about my body type and what works for me. And the thing about most brands—unless they're very expensive brands, like Margiela, Comme des Garçons, that level—is that they’re not very consistent in the lines and the clothing that they make.

So, for example, with Anthropologie or J.Crew, those kinds of brands—they just make anything and everything. When I would wear some of those brands (and I’m a big Anthropologie fan, just as an example), it was like: I’d have to look and not understand exactly what they’re doing this season. It would be all over the place. Some stuff worked, some stuff didn’t. Just very annoying.

I am a fan of Issey Miyake. That said, their lines are consistent, but those lines don’t look great on me. There are very few pieces that actually work for me.

Anyway, long story long—I was in New York, and I wanted to go to the Issey Miyake store because I was willing to spend time finding the one thing that might work for me. But the store was very busy—it’s a small store in Soho—and I didn’t want to deal with that. So I was like, let me just walk around and see what else is out here.

Tibi was right around the corner. I didn’t know anything about the brand because it’s not that well known. I’m also not very engaged in style content on social media—at least before Substack—so I didn’t know anything about them.

I walked in, and there was a stylist there, Grace, who was super nice. She talked about the brand, I was interested in some of the clothes, she helped me try them on—and I instantly fell in love. Literally 90% of the stuff looked good on me and the lines worked well for me. I ended up buying three things, walked out still not knowing about the style classes or anything like that.

Then I did a few email exchanges with Grace afterward to figure out shoe sizing—because their sizing is all over the place. That’s when she told me about the style class, I started watching it, and the rest is history.

But truly, I think what drew me to them is that they are very consistent in the kind of clothes they make. And most of their lines work really well on me. They do make some clothes where the lines don’t work well on me, and I just know that and steer clear of those silhouettes.

Maureen: Yeah. And I know from your writing that you have a specific definition of what “lines” mean and what looks good on you. I just wanted to take an opportunity to clarify—what does looking good mean for you personally?

Aastha: It's such a great question. I think for me, it's a combination of what aesthetically looks good. I think that is important, because sometimes we gaslight ourselves or others into thinking, “Oh, it doesn't matter. You know, it's fine. It's not about flattering.” And it is not about flattering.

Maureen: I agree.

Aastha: So that whole idea of the lines working for me—one is, is it giving me aesthetically what I want? And two, is it expressing what I want to express?

For example, my body type—and this is a caveat because it might come up throughout our chat—I'm very neutral in how I talk about my body. Hopefully this is not triggering for anyone, but my body type is: I have broad shoulders, very narrow hips, my waist-to-hip ratio isn’t much. The way I like to look is basically broad shoulders and then a vertical line from there. So I don't like cinching my waist.

Because of the way my body is, my shoulders are broader than the rest of my body. As long as something has broad shoulders and falls straight down, that column look, I really like. Also, one of my style words is “commanding,” and that look is commanding. So it's a good combination of how I want to look plus the lines that I think look good on me. That’s how I typically think about clothes and whether they give me the lines I want.

Maureen: Let's talk about your style words. I loved your post about that and how you moved from style words that describe clothing to style words that describe how you want to feel in your outfit. I'd love to hear you talk about your style words in more detail and how you got to them.

Aastha: Yeah, I was wondering where this came from. From the very beginning, when I started thinking about style words, for me, it was in the graphic design context. We were taught as an exercise that before you design a poster—you come up with three adjectives. They were not called style words, just three adjectives to describe what you’re going for. Our professor said not to use overly visual words because, he said, that's not exciting. If one of your words is “linear,” I already know your poster is going to have lines. That's a wastage of words.

Even before that, I think this idea of labels is very Western. Minimalist, maximalist, boho, retro—that’s not how we thought about design in India. Growing up, we weren’t boxed into one style; sometimes minimal, sometimes maximal, sometimes inspired by Western dressing, sometimes Indian. So that whole labeling idea didn’t work for me—maybe because I grew up in India.

Combine that with what I learned in grad school, and the idea that style words would be like “70s” didn’t work either. What if I don’t want to feel 70s someday? That’s possible. But I liked the idea of using words to describe what I’m trying to communicate and how I want to feel. Words about me as a person, not just how I want to look, because how I look can change. Anchoring in feelings and personality makes the words more stable—they’ll evolve, but not day by day.

Even today, I’m wearing a navy dress with a black blazer. Yesterday, I was wearing super colorful clothes. If my words were minimal versus maximal, or neutral versus colorful, it wouldn’t work. That’s why I gravitate toward feeling words.

Maureen: Yeah, I mean, for the idea of intuitive style, that post was one I read and thought, “Ooh, I wish I wrote that.” It connected so well with dressing intuitively and paying attention to how we feel in our bodies with what we’re wearing. Choosing style words that communicate feelings is so much more expansive and allows for creativity in what we mean by the words we choose.

I’m probably going to write a post on this, but you and I have been chatting offline about what my style words might be—moving from words like “minimal” or “classic” (how I could describe past clothing) to being in the midst of a style transformation. Sometimes I like to accentuate my waist. My lines will continue to be classic, but I’m moving my words toward “creative,” “free,” and “modern.” What I loved about your post is that it really makes space for evolving and changing our minds.

If I were to rewrite my style words right now based on an aesthetic vision in my head, and I tried those things and they didn’t actually work on my body, it could cause a disconnect between our aesthetic preferences and how we feel in our own bodies. So I feel like by choosing these feeling words, the thing that is the most important is how that actually translates to real life and respecting our aesthetic preferences without making our aesthetic preferences the most or the only important factor in what we choose to wear. What do you think about that?

Aastha: I really like that. I think it's also this approach, and this connects to what you were saying. It's coming from the inside out versus outside in, right? Because one approach could be looking at Pinterest, collecting all these pins, and saying, “Okay, this is a classic look. One of my words is classic because I like this.” Right. There's nothing wrong with looking at Pinterest. I love Pinterest. I'm a very frequent user. But the problem with that is exactly what you said. You might try on those lines and realize, actually, that doesn't work so well on me. So now what do I do? Do I have to start over?

Instead, you just say, “Hey, I am someone who values freedom and I want to feel free.” You might think that translates to clothing like straight lines, no cinching. Or you might say, no, actually for you that just means natural fiber. Or someone else might say that for them it means wearing revealing clothing and being completely free in that because that's how they express it—and all of that is valid. They're still free; how they express it is their choice. No one else needs to look at it and say, “That person is free.”

Maureen: Yeah, I just went down a mental rabbit hole about being online and writing about style online, and how we are—and I say this about myself—right? We're choosing to make public something that is at the same time very private and personal. How do you deal with that cognitive dissonance between, “This is for me” versus choosing to share online and making something public?

Aastha: Yeah. It's a great question. I think first of all, it is when we're able to do that, right? Because you are opening yourself to critique. Now, for the most part, Substack is like a bubble where most everyone is nice, but I also post things on Instagram where that's not the case. I think it comes down to everyone's reason for doing it.

And to me, how it makes sense is—this goes way beyond style—my mom was someone who spent a lot of her life truly enabling other women to feel autonomous and have the agency that she perhaps herself wasn't given. And she actually fought for herself to get that agency. That is how she raised us.

The reason for me and the “why” is because I truly write so that I can share. I just want to give women permission, as much as possible, through living my own life the way I want to. Because the truth is, many of us put too many barriers in our own minds sometimes. Some of these barriers are real, but some are not. It's just that we have grown up with shame, boundaries, rules about what we can or cannot do, what we can or cannot say.

And I think the more we are upfront with each other in sharing how we think about stuff and not being apologetic about how we live our lives, the more permission it gives to the collective. So yes, it is uncomfortable, but that is my “why” that makes it worth it. If someone can look at me and think, “Oh, she can wear shorts to work, I can do the same,” or whatever their version of that might be, it’s worth it if it’s even one person. That’s my hope—that just setting an example for women is something all of us are doing, including yourself.

Maureen: That's really beautiful. And the story about your mom too—it is so important to know our references. It sounds like your mom led by example. When we think about having purpose in our life, I think that's very top of mind for a lot of people. Having a clear passion that you care about and can devote yourself to—what is better than that? I think that's the best thing we can experience on earth.

Aastha: Yeah, I completely agree. I think this is connected to the first thing we were talking about—the first topic of living every day and finding happiness in your every day, whether it's your outfit, how you're living your life, or what job you're doing. Because if it's connected to your purpose, any of this, you'll feel it. If it's not, you'll feel the dissonance too. That's why I try to optimize for how it actually feels to me. That's why I like my job. I like where I live, like all of it. It has to be giving me happiness on a day-to-day basis.

And not just… of course, you'll have crappy days at your job, but we all know the difference between that and just, “This is not for me.”

Maureen: Let's talk about “this is not for me” in clothing. My question that I ask everyone is, I’m getting more interested in the why behind why people decide what to wear rather than what they’re actually wearing. Understanding that you have a go-to roster, particularly Tibi, maybe within a particular collection or based on what you already have—how do you decide what to buy and wear? And how do you decide what not to buy and wear?

Aastha: I have a very good idea of stuff that just won’t work on me. But I still keep trying some of it, knowing it's not going to work on me. But it’s more to verify and train my mental model. Like there’s a dress they did this season—I saw it, and one of my friends who is also into Tibi was like, “This is going to look so bad on me.” She agreed. A day later, I put it in my consignment box to verify. She goes, “Me too.” The minute I put it on, I was like, yes, I was right. But now I know, because I get consignment boxes from Tibi, so I can try it on and send it back. It comes down to some things I just know.

Aastha: I’ll tell you my filter, because some of it applies to Tibi, but some is more global. I’m very particular about colors. I wear any color, all colors, but it has to be a nuanced color. That’s what I really like about it. Tibi is excellent at it. Dries is excellent at it. Rick Owens is another brand I like for their colors. They don’t do simple colors. Even their bright red is a nuanced bright red. Stunning colors.

If I see something and the color is just not there, I won’t even bother.

The second filter is lines. Anything that cinches at the waist, any drop waist, anything where the shoulders feel constricted—doesn’t work for me. Tibi has this top that’s very famous, a lot of people love it. Trini loves it. But it doesn’t work for me because it makes my shoulders feel smaller, and I like the opposite. I like free shoulders—tank tops—or big shoulder pads and things that drape off the shoulder. Lines are important, but that still leaves a lot of Tibi items I could buy. I have to be reasonable in how much I can actually buy.

Right now, my foundational wardrobe is pretty set for any brand. I look more for what adds a spark that might be missing from my closet. For example, I just bought a pair of black tropical wool pants called the Meyer pants—they have a gusset detail on the sides, in the hips. Kind of looks weird, kind of designed. That’s another reason I like Tibi—you get a lot of design for the price. You won’t find other brands in that price range doing pushed design like that.

I added those because I only have one pair of black pants—I don’t need more than that. But these pants are not simple trousers; they add something. That’s typically how I look at stuff now: is it adding that spark? Is it something I might be missing right now?

Maureen: I want to go back in time. One thing I’m struggling with—and I’m sure I’m not the only person—is how do we figure out what we do and don’t like to begin with? Pre-Tibi, for example, what was that process like? I feel like it can be easy to think about what you don't like in the context of what you do like. So I know I like this, and so this thing isn't that, so therefore it doesn't work for me. But let's say you're having a hard time finding the things that you do like to begin with. How do you go about doing that? Is there any workaround other than just trying on like a million things?

Aastha: There are—I'm not saying not, maybe not a million things—but this is why I write about lines, shapes, colors, and all of this. To me, lines are one of the most important things in clothing because it changes how your body looks, and that is a very important part of style. That’s basically the entire foundation of style.

I had an unfair advantage because I knew about lines and shapes from design, so I found it pretty early on. But if people don’t have that, I would say invest first in learning about your body lines, what you like, and being okay with that.

Because again, there’s so much about, “Oh, you don’t need to show your waist.” But sometimes we tell ourselves we are wrong in feeling what we inherently know because it’s cool for someone else to wear oversized clothing. We see Copenhagen Fashion Week, everyone’s in oversized things, and that’s cool. So maybe I should like it.

I am very consistent in my lines because my style is all over the place if you think about the kind of things I wear. But if you look at the lines, completely consistent. It’s very rare for me to have a cinched waist. That’s been the case for a long, long time.

I found pretty early on that I like my shoulders to look broad and my fabric to fall straight. Pretty much everything I wear aligns with that. So I would say invest in finding out what lines you like. There aren’t that many options:

* Shoulders: do you like it to feel narrow or broad? That’s a big one.

* Neckline: do you want it high or low?

* Waist: very important, because a lot of clothing is either cinched or not, slightly cinched, etc. How do you want that to feel?

* Hips: tighter or more space?

And then vertical line. No one likes to feel shorter, but I can think of Ariana Grande—she doesn’t go for long lines. Sabrina Carpenter, she doesn’t go for long lines. They clearly like more petite lines on their body. Do you like that? Do you like one sweeping long line? I feel like as long as people can figure this out, everything else kind of takes care of itself. And then don’t try to trick your mind into, “No, this is fashionable, so I’m going to choose it.” If you don’t like some lines on yourself, you’re just never going to like them. That’s the reality of it.

And then don’t try to trick your mind into, “No, this is fashionable, so I’m going to choose it.” If you don’t like some lines on yourself, you’re just never going to like them. That’s the reality of it.

Maureen: Yeah, I think I’m going back to my question. So this was my theory when I first started writing. I think you’ve said this before, and I think you’re saying it again now: a big part of the idea of dressing intuitively, dressing authentically, is that there’s a general disconnect between the things we feel in our bodies and the preferences we have. And we’ve been made to feel wrong about them in some way due to the culture we grow up in, the specific people we interact with, the social and cultural norms, and where we grew up. So it’s less about making our preferences and more about trying to listen closely to what’s already there. Is that kind of the line of thinking for you?

Aastha: I agree with that. It might feel like you’re coming up with something new, but it’s not. It’s about the unlearning or peeling away layers of what might not actually be your beliefs but you have absorbed.

Like, on the opposite side, maybe someone grew up with their mom always telling them, “Don’t hide your body.” So maybe they’ve been cinching their waist and they don’t because they believe that’s true. In that case, it becomes more about unlearning and going back to what they truly like.

And here's the thing, right? It's hard. On one hand, it's hard to tap into your intuition. On the other hand, it's also one of the easiest things to do. It coexists because we know you can sense it. So really tapping into when you can sense it and you just feel like it doesn't feel good—listening to that.

And you can see it, right? Like I've seen videos of people, TikToks and whatnot. I bet if you look closely, you will see when someone is uncomfortable in what they're wearing. It's a very small energy shift, but it happens.

Maybe sometimes it's even about recording yourself—record yourself trying clothes on, like a video, and you watch it and see, do you look happy? Because energy doesn't lie, and you'll be able to read it. How else does it feel in your body when you feel uncomfortable in something versus when you feel very aligned?

I know you practice somatic therapy, so this will sound familiar to you. But for someone listening, they might be like, what the hell are these California girls talking about?

If you tap into your body, there are actual sensations that you feel, right? Like if it feels uncomfortable, you might not feel it right away, but close your eyes, breathe into it, and see the physical sensation. Try to find that physical sensation: “I feel warmth in my shoulders in a bad way,” or “I feel something stuck in my waist.”

With my shoulder constriction thing, for example, a baby tee—Tibi makes baby tees every season. I’ve tried that so many times. I hate it every single time. The way they move it, the seam is here and then the sleeve is right here. It makes it look like my shoulders are being compressed in. It just feels icky.

The way I describe it to my somatic therapist: it just feels like something icky in your body. Not going too woo-woo, but you can even think about what kind of sound does it make? What does it smell like? Is there a color that comes to mind? None of those things are good in my mind if I think about how that top makes me feel. It feels like a muddy gray and brown, just squeezing my shoulders together, like nothing is able to escape.

So if you're listening and thinking, what the hell is this woman talking about? Maybe this is like advanced somatics, but it can start with just breathing into it: “I don't feel good about it. Can I find any sensation in my body? If I had to describe it with a color, a sound, a feeling?” I bet you'll be able to find at least one thing and then go from there.

Maureen: Yeah, I mean, it's so beautiful to me because I feel that the act of choosing to listen to our bodies is a radical act. And when we choose to do that, we are saying that we care about ourselves, our human existence, our quality of life. We are inhabiting main character energy—not in a way that my experience is superior to someone else's, but that mine is still important.

I know this might sound like a tangent, but choosing to pay attention to our experience and validating it—as you were saying with our preferences, for example, not questioning our preferences once we discover them—is powerful. We don't feel this need to overexert or defend our position against other people. We don't need to make ourselves less than either.

For me, this practice of dressing intuitively and paying attention to how my body feels is about finding a balance between being the most important person in the world or the least important person in the world. Just being like, I am equally as valid and important as every other soul.

I know this is the epitome of woo-woo, but it's a mindset we can bring to every part of our existence. Paying attention to our clothes and how they feel on our body, validating that preference, can have a ripple effect on other decisions we make and how we treat other people. I'm curious—do you feel that it goes beyond clothing? Is it just about the visual aesthetic?

Aastha: It's not. It definitely goes beyond. Clothing is a reflection of how you treat yourself and what you think about yourself. At the same time, it can become a vehicle to change how you think about yourself. It's a symptom of what's happening underneath, but also a lever to change your perspective—about yourself, the world, whatever.

A very small example is, like one thing that I noticed a long time ago… I've been married for like 13 years or something at this point. Many years ago, before I started thinking about this, if my husband had to use the bathroom, he would be like, “I need to use the bathroom,” if we are out and about. That's the first thing he's doing. I would be like, okay, let's do this, and then I can do… How many women don't use the bathroom because there are other important things going on? Like, this is a real thing. We’ll hold our needs because, oh no, I have to do this thing or this person needs me.

That's such a basic bodily need—like not drinking water on time. Food also is another one, but food is more loaded, so I’ll leave that out for now. But we don’t even honor our body’s need to use the bathroom. Even starting there is something.

But that reflects in style, right? So now we approach it from the angle of honoring our own needs. If we feel like, “I like having my waist defined,” I’m going to do it, even if it’s fashionable on TikTok to wear oversized things. You are now teaching yourself to honor what you want. Maybe you are wrong. Maybe five years down the line, you discover that actually, you don’t like a cinched waist. That’s fine. The most important thing is you’re honoring what feels right in the moment. That’s it. Just doing that is very powerful.

Maureen: What’s exciting you in fashion right now?

Aastha: What’s exciting me in fashion? I feel like I’m a horrible person to ask this question because I’m not someone who stays updated on all the trends.

Maureen: What’s exciting you in general? It doesn’t have to be fashion.

Aastha: You know what? As soon as you asked me that, I was like, let me tell you what’s exciting me in fashion, actually. I’m very excited. I’m going to give you a very specific answer. I’m very controversial, but I’m very excited about Demna going to Gucci. I’m excited about what’s going to happen because I love the Gucci era and what they were doing back then. Somehow this whole quiet luxury thing happened, and Gucci tried to do quiet luxury, and it’s just not them—it’s not authentic.

Now I don’t know what’s going to happen with his vision at Gucci, but I have high expectations. I’m expecting weird, kitschy, bold things with colors and metallics. Maybe he does that, maybe he doesn’t—I don’t know—but that is literally exciting me about the future of where some of this fashion can go.

Broader than that, I’m very encouraged by the conversations we have on Substack. It’s a very small community right now. Maybe as it grows, it won’t stay the same—it probably won’t—but still, the fact that we are going deeper into these layers, talking about style and how it impacts our daily and personal lives, I think there is more empowerment happening for women despite what is happening in the world at large. I find hope in that and excitement, that on a personal level, we seem to be empowering each other versus shutting down in our own corners.

Maureen: Yeah, that’s really beautiful. In the grand political scheme, to find those ways to experience joy and connection. We’re coming towards the end of our time. What advice would you give to someone trying to build a wardrobe that feels intuitive and authentic to them?

Aastha: I think the big one would be: don’t expect it to be one-and-done. It’s not like I’m just going to go through it and be done. It’s an ongoing process. Another is to strip away your learnings that you know are not correct as much as possible. Sit, feel into it, and you will know: these lines are not good for me, I want to wear colors, I want this, I want that. Be okay with that—even if it’s not what your friends are wearing, even if it’s not what’s trendy on Substack. Giving yourself permission to do that is very powerful.

If that sounds scary, start with one day a week where no one will see you. You’re at home, wear whatever you want to wear, see how that feels, and then gradually build up from there. That is truly the most important piece of unlearning things and giving yourself permission to like what you like, irrespective of what you hear around you—including on Substack.

Maureen: Wise words to sign off on.

Aastha: Thank you.

Maureen: Where can listeners find you? Where are you most active?

Aastha: On Substack as Fit Happens, and I’m also on Instagram: Asta Hearts. I’m guessing you’ll leave links so people can find it.

I’ll quickly say, people get confused about my name because I write Aastha/Asta. The longer word is how you spell my name, but Americans typically don’t know how to say [my name] and get confused about the placement of the H. I made it shorter so people know how to say it—it’s like “pasta.” That’s the story behind the dual name.

Maureen: That makes sense. I’m sorry people don’t get your name.

Aastha: It’s one of those things where once you tell them, they have no problem saying it—it’s just not intuitive for Americans.

Oh, this was such a great conversation, Maureen! Seriously, I wasn’t just saying that to make you feel good. You’re doing important work in this space, and I really appreciate it. I am very excited about this episode, and all the other episodes.

Maureen: Yes, thank you! Thank you for always being my style therapist. I always come to you with struggles, and you have great suggestions. This conversation was no different. Thank you for being yourself on the internet, showing self-acceptance and self-love, and neutrality on some days too. Personally, I’ve started to pay attention to what I’m jealous of—people who can accept themselves—and your example is really helpful for me to see that’s possible.

Aastha: Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. This was fun. I’ll see you on the internet.

Maureen: Thanks everyone for listening.

Outro

Intuitive Style is produced, edited, and hosted by me, Maureen McLennon Welton. Our theme music is by Tim Reed and Jacob Welton.

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