You may be wondering what the heck we are talking about, but bare with us and this is a fantastic tool invented by Marshall Rosenberg.

In an attempt to resolve why human beings constantly find themselves in violent dispute, Marshall identified two lenses through which we see and interact with the world—Jackal and Giraffe. At an early age, most of us were taught to speak and think Jackal. A jackal communicates by telling people what's wrong with them: "Obviously, you're emotionally disturbed (or rude, lazy, selfish etc.). This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack.

The Giraffe is tall enough to look into the future, and lives its life with gentility and strength. Giraffe is a language of requests; Jackal is a language of demands. As Giraffes, we make requests in terms of what we want people to do, not what we want them to feel. All the while, we steer clear of mandates. Without the freedom to choose, life is prompted by directives and injunctions—people do not take responsibility for their actions.