The third phase of behavior change can feel so rewarding, but equally hold its unique challenges. Momentum and payoff is marked with victories, tangible changes, and success!! But without a knowledge of these 5 challenges, it can be easy to fall right back into your old ways. Let’s continue to dig into behavior change, and strategize a path for inevitable and predictable mind blowing results.

Welcome to Your Living Health, the podcast where we talk about real life strategies to reduce chronic inflammation. Each episode will uncover tools for you to lose weight and achieve optimal health. I’m your host, Carly Lucchesi, I’m a UC Davis trained registered dietitian and I’m also a life coach. Together let’s coach through the science of inflammation, but in a way that is simple, purposeful and fun.

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Hey there! I hope you are loving this four part series on behavior change as much as I am. I, just like you, often get stuck in each of these phases. Each week it’s been super helpful (even for me!) to take time to unpack each of these phases and better understand them so that I don’t find myself spinning or going back to old behaviors. So, my hope is that you are finding LISTENING to these episodes as useful as I am in DEVELOPING them.

In quick recap, we have gone over the lightbulb moment which is phase 1, and complete disconnect which is phase 2. We’ve gone over exactly the tricks your brain uses to keep you stuck spinning in these areas, and how it’s easy to fall back into old behavior, or never decide to change in the first place. But now we get to move past the hard parts of behavior change into the sweet rewards of momentum and payoff. This phase is refreshingly filled with new emotions, such as pride, relief, excitement, motivation, and discipline. But, we want to be careful to unpack exactly what is going on when you reach this point, so that you don’t find yourself falling back into complete disconnect, or find yourself giving up completely. My goal is to keep you moving forward, steadily passing over the void between old behavior and impossible goals. So, let’s dig in.

I want to start with what you will be feeling within the phase of Momentum and payoff. There are 5 beliefs, behaviors and results that I commonly see, all things that you have likely felt before. When you reach phase 3, you will FINALLY physically see results of your hard work. Using the example of weight loss, this is where you are seeing the result of your body changing. I want to emphasize something really quick about your results in this phase. Your results here are NEUTRAL, and void of emotion until you have a thought about them. Results you will see in this phase include a lower number on a scale, inches dropped from your waistline, clothes fitting differently, energy levels increased, less time spent in the bathroom, lower amounts of medications being needed, lab values improving, and so on. You are seeing changes in objective measurements, and you are freaking stoked about this. From these neutral results come the next thing which is you will have A TON of very uplifting thoughts from what you’re making your results mean about you. Thoughts will flood this phase like “you’re doing it” “it’s working” “Holy crap, this is awesome!” These thoughts will feel much more natural and effortless compared to the redirection and intentional thinking that was leaned on during complete disconnect. Instead of having to believe from your future what’s possible, you will be able to use your current results as evidence of what is possible. From the results you see, and thoughts you think about these results, you will FEEL all the good feels. You will feel pride, motivation, relief, excitement, inspiration, energy, thankful, and other emotions that feel great and keep driving you forward. With the energy and results, it is easy to believe that this change is finally possible. Slowly the doubt you held space for within complete disconnect is beginning to melt away as you watch your body change into what you’ve wanted for so long. Now you will step into true belief that this is possible. It will feel much more real, more like stepping into this new version of yourself vs. feeling like you’re playing the role of a character like an actor in a movie. The actions you take will be less from an energy of just simply trusting the process, and more from the energy of determination, discipline and grit. You will begin acting from thoughts like “This is who I am” and “This is just what I do”… This is what it will internally sound like as you step into this new version of yourself. For example, In complete disconnect, your actions of having dried fruit for dessert will be driven from thoughts like “I know we want to cupcake, but let’s just have some dried fruit instead”. Those actions will feel like they require more energy of you, and much more intentional redirection of your thoughts. But in phase 3, your action of having dried fruit for dessert will be driven from thoughts like “this dried fruit is so yummy!” Notice this is the same action! But when you’ve reached phase 3 your actions will feel much more in alignment with the person you are versus the person you want to be in the future. It will take much less energy, and much less thought redirection. Your actions will begin to feel natural, like this is just who you’ve been all along. Momentum and payoff is filled with sweet relief and the rewards of hard work and dedication to the process.

But even when you’ve reached phase 3, you’re going to want to be careful of where you can stumble and get knocked off course. I want to now shift our focus away from the benefits, and focus a little more on the challenges that will inevitably arise as you continue to move through this big change. The first thing I want to point out is that you will forever be stuck with your same brain. You can’t escape your brain, it doesn’t matter how many changes you’ve made or how goals you’ve achieved. Your darned old brain will always be there thinking thoughts in the background. Want to know what some of these thoughts will sound like? They will sound like “this should be easier” “If you were actually changing, then this would be easy and it’s not easy yet.” “Other people got these results in half the time you did, you are doing something wrong” “Other people don’t struggle with temptation like you, see, they don’t even want the cupcake and you still do. You’re doing it wrong” Notice that even when you’ve reached phase 3, you will still have your toddler brain in the background trying to offer you a sales pitch to pull you back into your old ways. You get to CHOOSE what you want to believe, and from a space of awareness you get to CHOOSE to kindly listen and observe. But if you don’t you might accidentally… or blindly believe those thoughts and fall into old feelings that will lead to old actions.

The next stumble is that you might think that once you’ve reached phase 3, it’s all rainbows and daisies, and magically your toddler brain gets on board with this new version of you and magically transforms into your new cheerleader. Check it out, this is total BS and it will never happen. Life is never rainbows and daisies, and you will never be happy all of the time. Success and behavior change is not characterized by being happy all of the time, this is a lie that you might have subconsciously hoped for all along. But when you’ve finally done the thing and made the changes, you might even feel disappointment and a little angry that it’s still hard work even when you’ve gotten the results you’ve wanted. Son of a gun!! Life doesn’t get easier after all!! This can cause some of you to fall back into old behaviors, and adopt the “screw it” thoughts that lead to screw it actions. So, what might keep you moving forward is knowing ahead of time that it isn’t better there than here. Life is still 50/50, even when you’re at your goal weight. You’re not doing it to feel better about yourself, you’re doing it because you want this result in your life. Period. If you want to dig more into this concept, I encourage you to listen to episode 15 where we go over life’s 50/50 in detail.

The next thing that will make most of you fall off track is that when you’ve reached momentum and payoff, this is where the universe will step in, and life will happen. You will get sick, you will have a big vacation, there will be an unexpected thing happen at work, with your kids or finances, you will have some challenges arise in your marriage… All the things will happen here. It’s just a law of physics. You will come into momentum and payoff thinking life will be rainbows and daisies and magically become easier, and then BAM! Life will happen. And then you’ll act like you didn’t see it coming. I just want to offer you insight to the reality that life will ALWAYS happen right when you reach momentum and payoff. Plan on it, wait for it, laugh about it when you see it unfold. Thought awareness will be very useful here, and using the skill of intentional bridge thoughts that you gained in phase 2 will be the thing that keeps you moving forward. Subconscious thoughts in this phase will sound like “you’ve got to be kidding me” “I don’t have time for this right now”. But the real toddler brain strategy at play here BEGINS when you believe thoughts like “you don’t have time for this right now.” When you believe that first thought, it is so much easier to believe the sales pitch of your toddler brain when it offers the REAL plot of “a coffee sounds good” “I need a drink” “I want a donut” or whatever thought your brain will use to create desire for instant gratification. Don’t fall for it! Know that it’s coming.  Know that the universe will cause life to happen in some way, and know that when life happens your brain will want instant gratification. Have a plan in place ahead of time, have thoughts to think on purpose, remember that this change you are making is not optional. This change is inevitable. Keep moving forward by using thoughts that create grit, determination and resourcefulness.

Next you will plateau. For weeks or even months. You will be doing all the right things, and you will feel like you’re nowhere closer to your goals. But this is where you get to redirect your brain to the measures of success you choose to focus on. Your brain is just trying to trick you into focusing on objective results as measures of success… that you should measure your success based on a number on a scale, inches off your waistline, energy levels, clothes fitting different, and so on. DO NOT BE FOOLED! Remember, it is FAR MORE USEFUL and FAR MORE VALUABLE to measure your success based on your actions and not on your results. If I am showing up for myself every single day, choosing to think thoughts on purpose, choosing to be aware of my brain, choosing to keep living into this new version of myself with each action I take… that is the mark of success. That is where you should redirect your brain to focus on. When your brain is like “yeah, but all this effort hasn’t been worth it because you haven’t even lost a pound.” You are at a crossroads. You can choose to focus on your results and allow your toddler brain to use those results to pull you back into your old ways. OR you can choose to focus on your actions, and use THAT to continue driving you towards your inevitable success. You WILL plateau, and that’s ok. Remember that you get to interpret your results with your thoughts, and I want you to become curious about your plateau’s instead of resent them.

And finally, when you reach momentum and payoff, you will begin your identity crisis. You will be very resentful when you find yourself taking two steps backwards right back into the old patterns of complete disconnect. There might even be a little fear and anxiety, a little PTSD when you’re once again having to hold space for your toddler brain and hold space for believing thoughts that this isn’t possible anymore. You will once again feel like a crazy person because you will have tangible results in front of your face, but also belief the thought that this isn’t impossible. That it’ll never stick. That this isn’t who you REALLY are. This is when you will begin the challenge of living through your self-induced identity crisis. Phase 3 is where you are finally believing that it is possible… but it is not yet who you are. You still identify as the person you used to be, and your brain will continue trying to pull you back into those old behavior patterns, thought patterns, and feeling patterns. You have established new neural pathways and YOU’RE EVEN FEELING THE DIFFERENCE WITHIN YOURSELF, but those pathways are not quite as developed as the neural pathways that represent your old behaviors and old thought patterns. This is totally normal, and I want you to anticipate it instead of falling off track because you didn’t see it coming. Momentum and payoff is only phase 3 of behavior change, you are not quite done yet. There are still challenges and obstacles to strategically overcome. But then, there’s the sweet victory of phase 4 which is auto pilot. We’ll talk about that much more next week.

So in summary, momentum and payoff will feel beautifully different than phase 2, but not void of it’s own unique challenges. The challenges you will encounter will include being stuck with your same toddler brain no matter where you go. There it is, always trying to keep you safe and keep you seeking instant gratification. The second challenge will be this subconscious belief that it’s better there than here. And when you get there and realize that it’s not rainbows and daisies it can be incredibly disappointing. Remembering that life sucks half the time and is great only half the time… no matter what… will help you to stay grounded and continuing to move forward. The third challenge will be the universe stepping in and causing life to happen. But check it out, of course life will happen, life is never smooth. Anticipate this and listen clearly when your brain is offering you a sales pitch that instead of doing what you know works, that you could use a drink instead. The fourth challenge will be plateaus. WHEN you find yourself feeling discouraged, know that this is your cue to reassess what you are measuring your success on. Consider that you might need to shift your focus away from short term results, and more towards the actions leading you towards this inevitable change. And finally, the fifth challenge you will find in phase 3 is that you will begin your identity crisis. You will not yet have the neural network to support the belief that this is just who you are. You will only believe that this is possible. There will likely be some discomfort present that feels like you’re falling right back into complete disconnect.  But I promise you, you’re not. You are not falling off the wagon or moving backwards. You are right on track, and right where you are supposed to be. If you find yourself going through these challenges, know that auto pilot is right around the corner.

So for those of you who are continuing on the path to behavior change, you’ve got this! You are amazing, and capable of so much more than you can imagine. If you use the tools discussed in these past 3 episodes, I promise nothing is impossible for you. It’s time for you to blow your own mind. For those of you wanting to start your own journey of weight loss and inflammation reduction, you’re going to want to book your free consult right now at yourlivinghealth.com. Sometimes it’s easier to change when you’ve got someone there leading the way. Like a shortcut to your success. And who doesn’t love shortcuts! Without lab testing, it can be hard knowing where to focus your attention. And without life coaching, it can be easy to get lost in your own brain. And without a dietitian, it can be easy to fall into the conflicting world of nutrition advice. Want to embark on a journey that is backed with a guarantee? No risk, a total win-win? Book your free introductory consult today. Alright, you’re the best, and I’ll talk to you next week.