Living with your Thoughts

Episode 199 The Cost of a Fixed Mindset


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This episode explores rigid, fixed mindsets—the inner voice that says “this is who I am, I can’t change.” A fixed mindset views abilities, intelligence, and personality as permanent, creating black-and-white thinking. While it feels protective and safe, it ultimately keeps people stuck, limits growth, harms relationships, and prevents potential.

Fixed mindsets often stem from childhood experiences, praise linked only to achievements, fear of rejection, or painful events that create self-protective beliefs. This mindset can show up in relationships (“that’s just who I am”), work (avoiding challenges, fear of failure), and personal growth (avoiding learning opportunities).

To shift out of rigidity:

  • Awareness – Notice language like “I can’t” or “that’s just who I am.”
  • Curiosity – Replace judgment with openness (“what if I tried?”).
  • Reframe failure – See it as feedback and information, not proof of inadequacy.
  • Practice flexibility – Take small steps outside comfort zones.
  • Celebrate growth, not perfection – Value persistence, effort, and resilience.

Ultimately, growth begins with a single perspective shift. The “box” of rigid beliefs isn’t locked—walls are only as solid as we believe. By loosening rigidity, challenges become opportunities, relationships deepen, and life feels lighter and more open.

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Living with your ThoughtsBy Tracy Moxey