Chaos felt familiar because it mirrored your childhood emotional environments. Criticism, neglect, mocking etc.

We talk about how familiarity is not compatibility although it may feel like it. The cost of not stopping the cycle and choosing toxic/abusive partners. How we choose chaos because it’s all we knew growing up.

It is not about intelligence or ignorance, it’s about poor programming as a child. It depend on the severity of childhood trauma. We can all have some type of childhood dysfunction as no family is perfect, but there is childhood trauma that leaves some at a higher risk for abuse later in life.

Take Away

Practical step: Write down what felt “normal” in your first relationship

Reflective question: What did I confuse with love because it felt familiar?