The Billie Cedillos Podcast

Today I want to speak on something pretty raw. something for me that I've experienced in the past year, and hopes that I can encourage other women and men as well, to avoid the pitfalls that come with dating and relationships. Now, in saying that, obviously, I am no expert on this topic. 
I have only recently understood and have actually practised what I have learned in my healing journey. And let me just say, it is not easy. Sometimes when you heal, right, you're gonna have to start doing things to practice that healing.

Have you ever been in a season where you genuinely believe that God was with you, but everything around you looked like you wasn't? You prayed, you trusted, you read the word, you surrendered even. And yet, the storm kept getting louder. Sometimes we make the mistake of believing that if God is with us, there shouldn't be a storm. But scripture tells us something very different.

Looking back over the last decade and especially this past year I share some highlights of my healing journey in the hopes it will help those of you who are either contemplating a healing journey or are perhaps at the beginning or middle of your healing journey.

Understanding as a mother the grief not talked about that we go through as our children transition into independence and adulthood.

Confusion is often the fruit of manipulation.

It shows up when someone is saying one thing… and doing another.

When their words don’t match their actions.

When you’re being told you’re the problem… while you’re the one trying to make sense of everything.

This is what gaslighting does.

It slowly disconnects you from your reality.

You start second-guessing yourself.

You start over-explaining yourself.

You start apologizing for things you didn’t even do.

And over time… you lose clarity.

But here’s the truth:

God does not speak in chaos.

God’s voice brings peace—even when it corrects you.

God’s Spirit brings clarity—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Love bombing feels AMAZING at first. That's the trap. Your brain gets flooded with dopamine and you think you've found 'the one.'

But it's calculated manipulation designed to bypass your logical thinking. Here are the 8 red flags I wish I'd known.

A Breakdown of 9 Red Flags to watch for when getting to know someone.

The Connection to our childhood trauma and the importance to slow down when getting to know someone.

Part of a series of- A Holy Truth

Holy Truth #1 — God Is Not the Author of Confusion

Script

“Here is today’s Holy Truth.

If someone’s presence constantly leaves you confused, anxious, doubting yourself, and questioning reality… that is not the Spirit of God operating in that relationship.

God does not manipulate.

God does not gaslight.

God does not twist truth to control people.

The Holy Spirit brings clarity, peace, and truth.

So if you’ve been blaming yourself for the chaos someone else created, hear this: confusion is often a sign that someone is manipulating reality.

God’s voice is clear.

God’s truth brings freedom.

And when God begins opening your eyes to deception, that’s not destruction… that’s deliverance.”

Scripture

“God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.”

— 1 Corinthians 14:33

“Complex PTSD happens when someone has experienced repeated emotional or psychological trauma over a long period of time.

This can come from childhood abuse, narcissistic relationships, chronic gaslighting, or environments where you constantly felt unsafe.

What many people don’t realize is that trauma changes the nervous system.

Your brain becomes wired to scan for danger.

So when something feels even remotely similar to past abuse, your body reacts immediately.

Not with calm.

But with survival.

Today I want to talk to the woman who feels shattered.

The one who feels like something inside her broke and hasn’t fully come back together yet.

Psalm 34:18 says:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

I need you to notice something.

It doesn’t say:

God tolerates the brokenhearted.

It doesn’t say:

God waits until you’re healed.

It says He is close.

And when you’ve been abused — emotionally, spiritually, psychologically — one of the deepest lies planted inside you is this:

“God must be disappointed in me.”

“God must be far from me.”

“I must have done something wrong.”

But scripture says the opposite.

The breaking did not repel Him.

It attracted Him.

Victim Blaming: How Can we better assist Survivors of Abuse.

On Episode 5 on my podcast I share some insightful tips how to help survivors of abuse and some of the costs of victim blaming.

What victim blaming creates:

~False guilt

~Toxic shame

~Self-doubt

~Delayed healing

~Nervous system dysregulation

Beloved, You did NOT choose the abuse.

You chose a person who did not reveal their true nature. NO ONE consents to deception.

If you find this podcast helpful or know someone who could benefit from it PLEASE share it with them. Link in BIO listen on Apple or Spotify.

If you are a survivor of domestic violence or any other type of abuse; my heart is with you and YOU ARE WORTHY of love!