Today’s episode is a fun one, featuring a very popular content creator on Instagram—who may be less well known on Substack. She’s a real treat. Enjoy!

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

Welcome

You’re listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe that everyone has style. I’m Maureen McLennon Welton. In conversation with fantastic guests, we explore how to tap into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully.

Today’s guest is Cara Wengen, aka plus size Zoë Kravitz, which is obviously iconic. She’s a big thrifter, works in an art gallery, major, and has the best taste in music. Welcome to the show, Cara.

Cara: Thank you so much. I’m so excited to be here.

Maureen: Likewise, I’m excited to talk to you. You just kind of recently barreled in, in the absolute best way, through my Instagram feed. And I was like—hold on, I need to know this person. She needs to come on the podcast. Everyone needs to know about what she’s doing. So I’m so glad that you said yes.

I’d just love to really kick us off with your content creation origin story. What got you to start posting your outfits online? I know it’s kind of a scary thing.

Cara: Yeah, so I think probably very similarly to many other people, I was just kind of scrolling. I don’t want to say addicted to TikTok, but using TikTok frequently and Instagram frequently and seeing these people who are getting PR sent to them—like free stuff.

And I was like, mail is so cool in general. Like when you get a personalized letter, you’re like, this is awesome. Imagine getting clothing that you like sent to you or shoes or jewelry. And I was like, I want that to happen to me. So for that reason alone, I was like, I’m just going to start posting.

So that was probably like 2023. I was dabbling, just kind of casually posting once in a while. And then I made a pact to myself: in January of 2024, my New Year’s resolution was I’m going to post a video a day. Might miss some days, if that happens, that’s cool. But I’m going to post nonstop for all of 2024 and just see what happens.

And that’s honestly how it started. I started with outfit videos and then a lot of people were asking where I got my clothes and how I was finding them, and that turned into more thrifting videos, which is really my niche little corner of the internet. So it’s been wonderful. I’ve created an incredible community of people, and that is really the gift of it all. It’s not the PR, it’s the people. But yeah, that’s why I started.

Maureen: Yeah. And what’s the experience been like to actually be posting and being online? How does it feel?

Cara: Yeah. So I would say that at first, when I first got started and really started pouring effort into creating content, it was overwhelming. You know, I didn’t understand how to use the platforms, how to edit. I wasn’t in like a rhythm of filming and I kind of got burnt out.

And I feel like that happens to a lot of creators when they first start out. They’re like, oh, I’m gonna do all of this stuff and keep going and going and going, and then nothing’s gonna happen, so I’m just gonna give up. And if that doesn’t happen to everybody, that’s amazing, but a lot of the people that I’ve spoken to, that happens to.

So that was really frustrating at first, and I just kind of soldiered through it, brought those concerns to the community of people that were actually cheering me on every single day. And they were like, just keep going, just keep doing it. And that’s what I’ve been doing, and that’s the mentality I’ve had.

Instead of killing myself trying to create content, I kind of have now found a way to incorporate it into my everyday life. So I have a routine. I film my outfit video in the same location every day, same time. If I’m going thrifting, I automatically have my little tripod and I’m filming everything. Everything is content for me now, which has really changed the way that I’m interacting with creating content.

Editing gets a lot easier after you know how to do it—that’s probably one of the hardest things to learn. And then also just communicating with people and engaging, that’s important too. And I think that setting time limits for yourself for that is also really important, because I think it’s really easy to get caught up in, “Oh, I have to reply to every single comment.” You should, you should, you know, for your sake and your page—but I think also you need to get out of the online world and into your real life a lot.

That’s just something that I had to kind of learn along the way and along the journey as well.

Maureen: It’s like set time limits for yourself to do those interactions and that engagement. And I wanted to ask you about this because, you know, as a creator myself in different ways, I find so many parallels with the experience of writing content with the experience of personal style.

In the way that you have to try new things, especially if you want your personal style to move in a new direction or if you’re trying to push yourself out of your comfort zone—it can take time to get used to. And so I just think it’s really fun to see the comparison, and not just talk about personal style all the time, because I think it’s good to have inspiration from everywhere.

So I guess I’m curious—with that disclaimer—how, if anything, do you think your personal style has changed through being a content creator? Or do you feel that it’s pretty similar?

Cara: Yeah, no, my style has definitely changed. And I attest that to the fact of documentation. Literally, that was my pact to myself for 2024: every day I’m waking up and posting a video. So every day I have footage of myself on camera. And in doing that, you kind of see—oh, that looks good (or what I think looks good, because that’s all relative). Or, oh, I can really see the way that I’m more confident in this outfit versus that outfit. Why is that?

You notice things like, oh, I’m wearing this skirt in a lot of videos—that must be one of my staple items that I’m reaching for all the time. Those things just kind of naturally happen. It’s been super interesting, because pre-documentation, my style was just kind of all over the place. So if anything, it’s really helped me hone in on what I prefer to wear.

And also I get inspired by other content creators and celebrities, because I’m so online that I’m exposed to more—which is really cool. Like, I’ll see something and think, “Ooh, I like that. I would have never thought to do that, but let me see if I can go thrift that.” And it’s just been really fun.

If anything, I just feel more like myself now than ever before, which is really, really cool.

Maureen: I want to stick on that for a second. What does it mean to feel like yourself? Maybe an example or a moment—you mentioned looking back at videos and noticing that you’re more confident in a particular outfit versus another. What does that confidence look like to you in the video? How can you see it now in a way that maybe you didn’t see in the moment?

Cara: Yeah, I think it’s overall body posture—or the way I’m looking at myself in the camera. Because I don’t always film with the back camera, even though you’re “supposed” to. I still use my front camera a lot, so I’m literally looking at a mirror of myself. And I can tell—in certain looks—I’m feeling myself more.

Like, you know when you’re feeling yourself and when you’re not. There are certain moments where I’m like, “Oh, I’m really working this.” And I don’t mean that in a cocky way, I mean it in a very reflective, real-time way, like: wow, you’re really feeling yourself.

That’s been cool and interesting, because especially as somebody who lives in a larger body, I normally wouldn’t put on a tight shirt and think, “I feel great about myself.” But then when I’m reacting in real time to the footage of myself, I’m like, “No, I’m actually feeling myself. This feels good.”

And it kind of makes you think—maybe I’ve been doing this wrong the whole time. Like, it doesn’t matter what size I am. I can wear whatever I want as long as I feel good, it’s comfortable, and it’s what I like. That’s all that matters.

Maureen: Yeah. I mean, personally, I’m struggling with that right now, so I’d love to talk about it more—these limiting beliefs about what we can and cannot wear based on what our body looks like. Or even more than that—for me, it’s about what we’re used to seeing or not seeing.

And for me personally—and I mean this with no pressure, only gratitude—watching you wear just the best things (and just looking cool, in my subjective perspective) has been encouraging. And in your subjective perspective, I can feel when you’re feeling yourself.

It’s been really beautiful to see your work and what you’re wearing. I feel very encouraged, because there are some things I’ve told myself not to wear. And I’m actively looking for examples that tell me otherwise, and then trying to experience that myself.

Maureen: I wanted to go back to what you were saying about maybe in the past you wouldn’t have wanted to wear a particular type of tight t-shirt or something like that. Can you walk me through—if you can think of it—the experience of getting comfortable with that? Like, let’s say you just wore it one time. Did you immediately feel comfortable, or was it something you had to try over and over again? What was that like?

Cara: Yeah, it’s definitely not immediate. I would say that, just like you mentioned, seeing other people be so okay with styling pieces they might not necessarily be “told” to pick—that helps. Like, you see another size 16 wearing a little baby tee and you think, “Why can’t I do that?” So you try it, and at first you’re like, “Maybe this isn’t right.” Then you do it again, and you’re like, “No, I think it could be good.” Then you find your perfect baby tee and you’re like, “Oh no, this is me.”

So it’s not quick or immediate. Even now, if I wake up and put on a baby tee, it just might not be a baby tee kind of day. And that’s okay too. You just have to be kinder to yourself and realize that’s part of growing into being comfortable with your body.

I’m 33, turning 34 this month, and it’s still a battle I think I’ll face the rest of my life. But I’m at a point where I’m very happy with my body no matter what I’m wearing, because I know I’m healthy, and I know this is the size I’m supposed to be. Instead of trying to negate that, I’ve learned to be nicer to myself and say, “Okay, this is what I look like. And that’s great.”

I’ve gotten so many messages since the big Chloë Sevigny and Zoë Kravitz recreations from girls saying, “Oh my gosh, thank you for doing this. It’s so good to see these clothes on a larger body. You’ve inspired me.” Hearing that is such a reminder that I’m not alone—I’ve never been alone. So many people are going through the same thing. Let’s band together, gas each other up, and just not care—as long as you feel good and comfortable, that’s really what matters.

Of course, there will always be people who say, “You shouldn’t be wearing that top. You shouldn’t be wearing that baby tee.” And that’s fine. They don’t have to agree with the fact that it looks great on me—I know it does. So I guess the long-winded answer is: just wear it. Even if it feels wrong at first, believe that it’s right, and eventually, you’ll get there.

Maureen: Part of the reason I wanted to talk through this with you is I recently wrote about barriers to dressing intuitively. The idea is that your body can tell you what does and doesn’t feel comfortable or right for you. I wanted to shed light on the fact that sometimes your body can tell you something doesn’t feel safe just because it’s new. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not something you want—or could want—in the future.

And that’s something I’m working on right now: how to know the line between “my body tells me not to do this because I’m not used to it” versus “this really isn’t something I want.” I may need to work on that for a while. But hearing you talk about it makes me feel less alone.

Cara: Not at all. There’ve been so many moments like that in my life where I’ve questioned and then questioned again. And sometimes, those are pieces I just shouldn’t be wearing. Like, if I’m fussing with something too much, I don’t want to wear it. I don’t want it on my body. That happens.

But if the hesitation comes from society saying I shouldn’t wear something, versus what I actually want to wear—that just takes testing the waters.

Maureen: Yeah, yeah. Are there any other examples you can think of, where you’ve learned something actually isn’t a good fit for you? Even if you’d love to wear it, it just doesn’t really work for you?

Cara: Yeah, absolutely. I would love nothing more than to be able to wear like a slinky little backless dress and like have to wear no bra or no tape or no like plastic things on my chest to get through that. That’s something I really struggle with. I see so many, even curvy girls, who are wearing, like, backless dresses and looking so unbelievably good. I just can’t do that because I have a larger chest. I need the proper support, and to be able to achieve that look and have the proper support, I end up, like, hurting myself or, like, ripping the skin off my chest, you know?

So I think that’s definitely one of those style moments that’s just not for me. No matter how hard I try, no matter what special products get invented to magically hold the girls where they’re supposed to go. So that’s definitely, yeah, that’s definitely a thing for me is a little backless number.

Maureen: Yeah, I get it. I mean, we do have to have those limits where we’re listening to, oh, this really doesn’t feel good. Yeah, it doesn’t feel good to have tape on my chest, unfortunately. That makes sense to me.

Going back to, you know, you were saying that you can tell when you’re feeling yourself in your outfit. And that’s totally coming across. Like, you just seem to be having so much fun getting dressed. How are you feeling about getting dressed? Like, is it fun? Is it just something that you’re enjoying? Like, what’s your current relationship to your closet or clothing in general?

Cara: Yeah, no, I’m definitely having fun getting dressed. I love waking up every, it’s like every day is a new opportunity to just like be whoever I want to be. I’m not one of those people who plans out their outfits for the whole week. I actually envy those people because that would make my life so much easier. I think that’s so cool when people can do that.

I just can’t do that because I have to wake up, like you’re saying, and really dress intuitively, like see what I want to feel. Oh, I don’t want that to touch my skin or, oh, yeah, okay, I’m okay with something tight today. So I love waking up every morning and like picking an outfit. And sometimes what I’ll do is just scroll Pinterest when I’m drinking my coffee in the morning and be like, oh, I’m going to try that layer or like, oh, I really like this color combo. So it’s like a fun kind of creative game for me at this point.

Um, and I want to just keep doing it. I just like, I love getting dressed even, even on the days when I’m just like going to the flea market at seven o’clock in the morning, I’m still like putting some thought into my clothes. And that’s really fun because before, I mean, I would, I think I go through lulls as well.

And I think content creation has helped me stay out of the lull because there’s almost like a, not have to, but an expectation of getting dressed. And I kind of love that because it like has forced me. Whereas before I might just throw on like an oversized t-shirt and a pair of cutoffs. Like that’s still cool. And that still might be my outfit of choice, but like, I’m going to think about it a little bit more.

So yeah, I’m having a great time getting dressed in the morning. I think everybody should have a great time getting dressed in the morning.

Maureen: I hope that too. I don’t know that that’s the case, but I would love for more people to experience that.

What would you say is the difference between, you know, like you mentioned, sometimes you want to wear an oversized t-shirt and cutoffs, and that’s a choice. What’s the difference between making that choice versus just like maybe the alternative, like just putting it on out of ease or something like that, what is the difference in either the mindset or the experience of wearing the clothes in either of those situations where you may be wearing the same outfit, but the experience of choosing to wear it is different?

Cara: I think there’s a couple different factors. I mean, for me, probably the number one difference between bad outfit two different ways is the way I’m feeling about myself or my mood or, you know, if it’s a good day or a bad day, because we all have those.

So, you know, I think that could be considered a comfort outfit in some situations. And I would just then pair it with like some burks and not do my hair, you know. But if it’s a good day, maybe I put that on with some cowboy boots and a crocheted little handkerchief, you know. So like I think it just depends on my mood, how I’m feeling about myself, how I’m feeling about my body because you know as women we’re on a cycle so like our hormones are designed to kind of make us feel a certain way and sometimes you just don’t, you just can’t do it, you just can’t get excited about getting dressed.

But in those situations I always say you should have a comfort outfit or a comfort look and that has also been something that’s extremely helpful to me as somebody who just wakes up and gets dressed every morning and doesn’t plan out my outfits because I know like okay if I put that on I’m going to feel good regardless of what I feel and my mood is today I’m going to feel good in that outfit.

So love that. It’s good to have that comfort blanket outfit. You need it. Everybody needs it. Everybody needs at least, and if it’s not an outfit, it’s comfort pieces. Like, oh, I know that skirt is really comfortable. It’s soft on my skin. It looks good on me no matter if it’s a good day or bad day. And it goes with every top I have. You know, like pieces like that are so important.

So I recommend everybody has a top, a bottom, and a jacket that makes them feel that way or a sweater or something.

Maureen: Jackets are hard for me. I never find jackets I like. They always ruin my outfit.

Cara: See, I’m the opposite. I’m like, put a jacket on, it makes it. I’m like, this is my little cocoon of happiness.

Maureen: That’s so interesting. Everybody’s different. I also selfishly love that you talked about accessories changing the outfit because I feel like accessories are everything. The best things that I have in my closet are my accessories.

Cara:The one thing that I would honestly probably — like, I have a hard time spending a lot of money, like paying full price for an item. I would 100% pay full price for an accessory — piece of jewelry, a scarf, whatever. Because I just think no matter what, you can throw it on and it makes or breaks an outfit.

I could not agree more. And this is also, I wanted to say, you rock cowboy boots in particular.

But this is a perfect segue into how you decide what to buy and where. I know that you thrift a lot. It sounds like accessories get that full-price spot, but how else do you decide what comes home with you or what you leave at the thrift store?

Cara: This has evolved throughout my life. I’m in my thirties now, but in my twenties, it was like: you see it, you love it, you buy it.

I was buying way too much, spending way too much money, was not saving when I should have been in a time where I was in the space in my life where I could save. And that taught me a lesson. Now in my 30s, where I have a lot more bills and things to pay for, I can’t do that anymore.

So I have this desire to want everything, but I really have to edit and be more selective with what I’m buying because I’m on a budget. And I think a lot of people are, especially nowadays. It’s expensive just to exist on this planet.

So the things that come home with me have to be things that I love, not just things that I think are cute. In one of my series, I call it “Ooh, that’s cute” — when I go to the thrift store and show you guys everything I think is cute. That is different than actually loving a piece.

Loving a piece is:

* You see it and you think it’s cute.

* You try it on, it fits you.

* You try it on, it feels good on you.

* You don’t already have something like it or similar.

So I’m being super selective with my closet edits. The things I’m purchasing have to be items I know I’m going to re-wear at least five times. I’m not just buying one-off pieces because they just take up space.

And that’s another thing: I don’t have a lot of storage in my apartment. My closet is packed to the gills. So it’s only things I really love.

I’m fortunate, though, that people trust me to go out and shop for them in the thrift store and do style bundles. So I get to kind of feed that little shopping beast by shopping for other people, which is really fun.

But yeah, I would say you have to love the piece and it has to be something that you’re going to wear multiple times in multiple different categories or occasions. It could be layered, it could be worn in the summer, it could be worn in the winter.

Maureen: Well, let’s talk about when you shop for your Chloë Sevigny or Zoë Kravitz posts. How literal would you say you go? I mean, I know when you’re thrifting, it kind of depends on what you can find. But I’m curious: what have you learned about your personal style through recreating their looks? How has that influenced you?

Cara: I definitely have learned that I have certain things I gravitate towards. Natural fabrics being one of them — cotton, denim, linen, silk.

A lot of times when I’m shopping for these dupe celebrity outfits, I’ll find something that’s polyester and be like, nope, I’m not going to buy that. Even though it’s an exact match, I won’t wear it again — and I know that. So I’m really trying to only get stuff I’ll actually re-wear.

It’s taught me that my editing skills on closet selection have gotten so in tune that I’m even applying that when completing a look. Ten years ago, that would not have been the case. Ten years ago I would’ve been like, “Just give me whatever as long as it’s an exact match and it fits.”

Also, it’s taught me that I know what cuts of things look better on my body. Especially now that I’ve been documenting — like, a lot of Zoë Kravitz’s looks have really low pants. She’s notorious for showing off her navel area. I’m very seldom going to do that. I might show a little slice of belly, but you’re not getting below the belly button.

So her pants might be more low-rise style, whereas I’m literally never going to buy that. For me, it’s going to be a mid-rise. So just the way things fit me, I’ve been able to edit the outfits to fit my body shape rather than theirs.

Maureen: Oh man, I feel like we could talk about this forever. It’s like — one of my mental blockers is exactly that. How do I be inspired by someone without wanting to recreate their outfit exactly?

And I can tell you, I’ve been working on this for years. I’ve made progress, but sometimes I still fall into that trap. So it’s awesome to hear that you’re figuring out how to recreate it your way.

Do you have any guidance for how to give the vibe of an outfit without recreating it? Like, say you’re not doing low-rise pants but you’re doing mid-rise. What’s the ethos — the underlying vibe you make sure to nail, even if the proportions are different on your body?

Cara: Yeah. I think the first thing I look at, as somebody with a creative brain, is texture, color, pattern.

So, you know, if someone has a plaid shirt on — plaid is a pattern, but those colors could also be recreated in a stripe or another pattern that’s not plaid. As long as you’re getting the colors right, that works.

If you can’t get the colors right but you can get the pattern right, you can alter the colors slightly.

And then texture — like corduroy. There’s thin corduroy, chunky corduroy. Paying attention to that matters too.

Also color in terms of overall vibe — is it earth-toned?

Is it cool toned? Is it warm toned? Is it really bright and bold? I think those things can translate. Like, somebody could be wearing a lime green outfit in a video or a photo, and then I can go to the thrift store and recreate it with lime yellow instead — because it’s basically the same vibe.

So instead of looking at individual pieces, you look at the outfit as an overall vibe. I know that sounds kind of cheesy, but that’s my ethos at least: what’s the vibe of this outfit, what am I going for? Can I pull some color, some pattern, some texture? That’s my mentality going into it.

Maureen: Totally. What I heard from that is it’s about composition and the overall effect, rather than the literal interpretation.

What is it about Zoë Kravitz or Chloë Sevigny that inspires you? Why them?

Cara: Oh, goodness — what doesn’t inspire me?

One, they’re both beautiful people, beautiful humans. And people, I think it’s human nature to be kind of awestruck by beautiful people. So that’s number one.

Number two is their effortlessness. I know it’s not actually effortless, because I’m sure they either have an intuitive way of thinking about what to wear or their stylists are curating things. But still — Chloë especially has been so iconic her whole life in terms of fashion.

She has this “I don’t give a frick” attitude of I’m going to wear what I want. I love that so much. And Zoë — Zoë nails the neutrals like nobody else. She can rock a black tank top and black pants like no other because of her accessories and the way she wears the outfit. Pairing things together that normally wouldn’t get paired together.

So I think it’s that cool girl aesthetic — combinations you wouldn’t necessarily expect, that really speaks to me. I just think they’re two of the coolest people ever.

And there might be some more people coming up on the list… a little teaser maybe. Because I can only recreate Zoë and Chloë for so long. I need to add in some other inspo.

Maureen: Ooh, I’m excited for that. Yeah. I mean, you do. You nail Cool Girl, just so you know. If you’ve ever wondered.

Cara: I appreciate that. I really appreciate that. If there’s one thing I could do, if I do that, I’m happy.

Maureen: You’re doing it. You’re doing it.

So — we talked a little bit about body awareness and how what you’re feeling in the morning affects what you end up wearing that day. Can you tell me more about that experience, or how you figure out what the day’s vibe is or isn’t?

Cara:Yeah. Especially living in Pennsylvania, the weather is always changing. There are four seasons here — sometimes it’s really hot, sometimes it’s really cold. That always factors in.

I hate — I repeat, hate — sweating in any way, shape, or form. I hate being hot. So if it’s summer, like this past week has been unbearable — humid, no wind, just heat — I don’t want to wear anything. I want to not put clothes on.

So having breathable fabrics like linen and cotton that I can just throw on, that look good but won’t make me sweat — that’s important.

Also, sometimes things just don’t feel good on your body. Like, today I’m wearing a more structured dress. Yesterday, I didn’t want anything structured. So I think it depends on listening to what my body is telling me.

I usually gravitate toward baggier fits instead of fitted ones, because I know I’ll always feel comfortable in that. Granted, there are situations where baggy doesn’t work — like work meetings or TV appearances for my job. I can’t show up in baggy fits.

So in those cases, finding pieces that fit closer to my body but are made of comfortable fabrics really helps.

So yeah — waking up, feeling the vibe, checking the weather, and deciding what genre I want to fit in. “Character” isn’t quite the right word, because I’m always myself. But like — which version of Cara I want to be that day.

Maureen: Well, and you also mentioned right, like Zoë or Chloë — those names work so well together — they’re genre-mixing even within a single outfit. That’s a strength you observed in them, and also something you’re doing so well yourself. That makes total sense. Like, why not? Why do we have to be one thing?

Cara: Yeah, no. And I think so many people get caught up in that. They want to look just like Jennifer Lawrence. They only want to wear things Jennifer Lawrence wears. But that’s not realistic. She has someone picking her clothes, shopping for her, buying all the things.

You have to be able to have pieces you love and instinctively put them together, and not care if it fits into a genre. That’s personal style: having all these little things in your wardrobe you love and wearing them a million different ways.

It’s easy to go out, buy something new, put it on once, and never wear it again. But that’s not what it’s about, in my opinion. And I’m not shaming anyone who does that — some people’s brains just work that way. But for me — our planet is a precious thing. To just one-off a clothing item? I could never.

And that’s one of the things I love about thrifting — all these discarded clothes at your fingertips. Yeah, they’ve been worn, yeah, they might be stained — but OxyClean exists for a reason. Figure it out. Let’s save the planet a little bit.

I’m not a poster child for being environmentally friendly, but that’s my part. That’s what I’ll continue to do.

So yeah: thrift your clothes, love your clothes, buy things you love, mix them together, and see if it works. If it doesn’t, don’t do it again.

Maureen: You’re really encouraging me to go thrifting this weekend.

Cara: I hope you do.

Maureen: I used to thrift all the time, and then it just got overwhelming. But now I’m like — I’ve got to try.

Cara: I will say, it has dramatically changed in the past couple of years. It really has. Prices at thrift stores nowadays are a little crazy. I’m very fortunate that in my area of Pennsylvania, we haven’t fallen to that too much.

But I went thrifting in Boston last summer when I went to see Noah Kahan in concert, and I randomly went into a Savers. We don’t have Savers in Pennsylvania. And I was like — whoa. A t-shirt was $7.99. I could buy a t-shirt at Old Navy for $7.99.

Normally my mentality isn’t like that, because I’m so conscious about discarding clothes and fashion waste. But I can understand why people would just say, “No, I’ll just order something from Old Navy and have it shipped to my house.” And I’m not an Old Navy hater — I love Old Navy. But I get the convenience of that versus thrifting.

That said, you can still find things at the thrift store you’ll never find online — unless you’re on Depop, Mercari, or eBay. It’s always a little treasure hunt. You never know what you’re going to find.

Maureen: Well, and you also have to find your store. Not every store, at least where I live, carries my size. Or if they do, there’s like two pieces. So it’s not a good use of my time to go to a store where I know I won’t find anything.

But there’s another store where I know I can find things because, for whatever reason, they carry more oversized clothing or some men’s stuff, and that fits better.

So I think that’s also a negotiation — like, what store even has the type of clothing I’d be looking for? And I’m trying to push past that mindset of, oh, this store didn’t have it, that store didn’t have it, therefore no stores will.

And then there’s another store near me that has almost no inventory at all. Ten years ago, they used to be packed with stuff. And now there’s so much need for clothing that every time I go in, it’s full of people but there’s nothing on the racks. People need things.

Cara: Yeah, you’re totally right. That’s definitely something I’ve seen as well. And you’re 100% right about the stores that fit with you and what you’re looking for. There are definitely stores around me that are more size-inclusive than others.

And based on inventory, I know which places I’ll find X, Y, and Z at. I’m fortunate to be able to thrift often, so I have a sense of what I’ll get at each store. But not everybody has that luxury — especially if they’re new to thrifting, or coming back to it after being away. It can feel really daunting.

That’s where secondhand apps can be a great resource. There’s actually an app called Gem — not a plug, but I use it all the time. You can save a wish list search, like “LL Bean barn jacket, size 2X,” and it will scan all the secondhand apps for you. Then you just click the one you like, and it takes you to buy it. So even if you don’t want to dig through racks in person, you can thrift online much more easily than before.

Maureen: Yeah, I’ll make sure to link Gem in the show notes. Again, not a sponsor.

Cara: Yeah, not at all — but I really recommend it.

Maureen: Cool. Another hard part is even figuring out what size you are when shopping online. How do you figure out what size to look for?

Cara: Measurements. That’s my number-one tip.

But don’t measure your body — measure your clothes laid flat. That’s the trick I use all the time, even when I’m thrifting in person. A lot of times I don’t want to change out of my clothes or put something dirty on, so I just measure it flat and compare to pieces I already own.

Most sellers list measurements. If they don’t, request them — and if they’re not willing to provide them, honestly, they shouldn’t be in the business. I keep a little mini measuring tape in all of my purses, and I use it everywhere, not just for thrifting. Even if you’re shopping in the mall, it’s super useful.

Especially for pants — jeans are tricky. I have pairs I like tight, and others that are baggy, and they measure completely differently when laid flat. So I measure those, and I even keep a note on my phone with all my garment measurements: baggy jeans, tight jeans, dresses, tops. That’s my holy grail for shopping.

Maureen: Yeah, that’s brilliant. And also, it’s about making it about the clothes — not your body. When I’ve focused on measuring my body, I’ve thought, oh, this should fit, but then it doesn’t, because it’s not about the size of my body — it’s about my preference for fit. Measuring clothes that already fit the way you want makes so much more sense.

Cara: Exactly. And especially secondhand, people don’t always care for clothes properly. A sweater might have been washed in hot water when it shouldn’t have, and now the fit is totally different. Just because it says XL or 2XL doesn’t mean it’ll fit like that.

That’s why I say don’t measure your body — your body has nothing to do with it. It’s about the clothes and how they were made, or how they were cared for. I swear by this trick. That little measuring tape is a lifesaver.

Maureen: I love that. I have one too, and I need to start bringing it with me. I feel very inspired.

So, what other advice would you give to someone looking to build a wardrobe that feels intuitive and authentic to them?

Cara: My first piece of advice is to find your key comfort items — the pieces you love and wear often. A lot of times, they’re not “sexy” pieces, but basics: the tried-and-true jeans, the skirt that fits perfectly, the white button-up that doesn’t gap. Find those first. Love them. Take care of them — even take them to the dry cleaner if needed.

Second, when you shop, pick things you love, but also ask yourself: Can I see myself wearing this multiple ways? Can this t-shirt go under a dress, with jeans, or with a skirt for a night out? Money is precious, even if it’s $3 at the thrift store. Think intentionally about how often you’ll actually wear it.

And last but not least — accessories. They make or break an outfit. Invest in a good purse, or thrift one. Play around with scarves, hats, socks, jewelry. Experiment with color, pattern, fit. Eventually you’ll find what you’re comfortable in and what makes you feel cool.

Because that’s what it’s about — not what anyone else thinks, but how you feel in your clothes.

Maureen: That’s so inspiring. For me, I’m coming out of an era where I had to rebuy my whole wardrobe because of fit changes. And in that process, I stopped being expressive. I felt like I couldn’t buy the “fun” stuff because I had to prioritize leggings or basics.

But finding your content has reminded me I can play and explore again. I don’t have to be in survival mode. I can try different things and see how I feel on my today body. Your enthusiasm makes dressing feel achievable, fun, and worth the effort. So thank you for that.

Cara: Thank you — that’s so sweet. Honestly, all the love I’ve received — like being asked to be on this podcast — it’s the cherry on top. I’ve done a lot of work to feel good about myself, and to have others notice and use words like “contagious” is really special.

I’ll never take that for granted. I just feel lucky to have this outlet to connect with people who feel the same way. That’s what it’s all about.

Maureen: Well, thank you. Where can people find you? Where are you most active?

Cara: I’m on Instagram — my handle is just my name: Cara_Wengen_Co. And my TikTok is the same without the underscores. The content on both platforms is pretty similar, and that’s the best way to connect with me. I hope people do!

If you listen to this and then follow me, or already follow me and are listening, DM me. I try to check my hidden requests more than people would think because it’s like the land of lost messages — those deserve love too.

Maureen: Well, thank you for doing that, because that’s how you saw my message.

Cara: I’m so happy to be here. So happy I did.

Maureen: Oh, and if someone wanted to do a style bundle, are you actively taking requests?

Cara: Yeah, I just shipped out ten this past weekend, which was very crazy. I am taking requests, but I only take on about five at a time. I’m working on three right now, so I have two spots left.

And if you reach out when I’m not taking people, don’t worry — I have a little waiting list document. Once a bundle ships out, I’ll reach out to the next person.

Maureen: Awesome. Well, I’ll make sure all of that is linked in the show notes. Thank you so much — this was a delight.

Cara:Thank you!

Outro

Intuitive Style is produced, edited, and hosted by me, Maureen McLennon Welton. Our theme music is by Tim Reed and Jacob Welton.

In case you missed it, Intuitive Style the podcast is an offshoot of Intuitive Style, the newsletter. Head over to Substack, and searchIntuitive Styleto read the newsletter—which covers reflections on personal style, guest features, and encouragement that there is no wrong way to get dressed.

If you enjoyed this episode, please rate and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or share with someone who might enjoy it.

Don’t forget to subscribe as new episodes drop weekly on Fridays.

Thanks, see you next week.

Get full access to Intuitive Style at maureenwelton.substack.com/subscribe