The 2021 Boston Red Sox season began on Monday, and nothing happened the three days beforehand. If something were to have hypothetically happened, though--say an 0-3 start--I perhaps talked about it at length during this episode.

The baseball was (again, hypothetically) bad before it was (literally and tangibly) good on Monday!

Also: the Red Sox got new uniforms, a hat tip to a lefty slugger in the AL West, and fuckin' steak, baby. Monday steak. Fuck.

Tell me how much you love steak, baby, on Twitter: @FitzyMoPena.

Opening song is "Baseball" by Hippo Campus, closing song is "It's a Shame" by The Spinners.