Music: Majestic Nature by Craig Stuart Garfinkle

Artwork by Steve English

The script:

Episode 22 - Another Visit to the Attic

It seemed that, in Manor Rott, Grott and Snott, the places where people didn’t often go were the places where the effects of the enchantment – or curse – or whatever it was – were the strongest.

Although it wasn’t clear how it happened, when things were left in lonely places such as the attic or cellar, malevolent forces somehow altered them. This was, I suppose, the reason for the rise of the Rampant Salami Empire; the real cause of the problems the Baron attributed to 'the ghost'.

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The Baron couldn’t believe he was going back into the attic after such a short time. It wasn’t long since he’d been up there to fetch the old water boiler and here he was, doing it all over again. As he looked up at the attic hatch, he shuddered.

The round window at the end of the landing was once again alive with gargoyle activity, as any number of gargoyles took it in turn to look every time the Baron turned away. But, in the midst of all this activity, Cod stayed at the centre of the window, watching. The Baron found himself waving to Cod before he knew what he was doing, and got annoyed with himself. When he next looked back, most of the other gargoyles had moved, but Cod still sat there as before, but with one hand raised.

Smiling to himself, the Baron turned back to the hatch and nearly jumped out of his skin. A large moose head had appeared on the wall to one side and was watching the Baron with a vague, disinterested expression, while chewing on something invisible to the Baron. Stokesley (as the moose head had become known) was actually quite nosey and seemed to enjoy giving people a shock. After a few choice words to Stokesley about staying in the entrance hall, the Baron took a deep breath and got to work. He didn’t notice the slight grin that appeared on the moose head’s face.

The over-long attic door was as recalcitrant as last time, squeaking and complaining as the Baron dropped it down. There seemed to be about as much dust and debris as on the previous visit. So, again, he got covered and, like last time, he marvelled at the awe-inspiring steps-cum-stairway contraption as it slowly and gently descended. He was delighted when he flicked the light switch on, and the bulbs spluttered, crackled and tinkled into life, one after the other, as if a little reluctant to shine.

Once he’d climbed up into the attic, he stood in the cooler air for a moment to steady his nerves. As he’d expected, all the chaos and mess of the turret finding its new home and shaking the attic had been cleared up, leaving corridors with piles of junk on each side.

As no turrets were relocating this time, there wasn’t as much noise, although the sudden flurries of hooves on slate kept causing him to panic.

Starting to move between the massive piles of junk towards where he was sure the ancient old vacuum cleaner had been, the Baron was surprised by how few shadows there were. What struck him as even more worrying was that, despite the lack of shadows, the attic somehow still managed to look dark, threatening and menacing. How it managed to do that without the shadows, he didn’t know, although he didn’t like the obvious conclusion; that it was the active presence of darkness.

Perhaps the greatest scare he got was at the end of a particularly packed aisle. As he turned the corner, a very loud flurry of hooves overhead momentarily distracted him. When he looked back, he jumped and almost hit his head on the roof at the shock of finding himself confronted with a giant, chewing moose head staring directly into his eyes.

The roof was slanted down at this point. So, when Stokesley decided to come and take a look, he was a lot lower than normal. In fact, he was so low that he ended up staring straight into the Baron's revoltingly ugly eyes. Stokesley promptly threw up – it was a mercy he didn't have a stomach!

Having recovered and