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Today’s episode features tastemaker, Parisian style enthusiast, film photographer, and all-around cool girl (who’s also really kind) OFELIA. We get into the differences between film and fashion, what it means to be a tastemaker, how dressing in Paris is different from dressing in Austin, and more. Enjoy!

Episode Transcript

This transcript has been edited for clarity.

Welcome

You’re listening to Intuitive Style, where we believe that everyone has style. I’m Maureen McLennon Welton. In conversation with fantastic guests, we explore how to tap into our style intuition so that we can dress authentically and live fully.

Today’s guest is OFELIA, writer of All The Above on Substack. She has a discerning eye for fashion, film photography, and vibes. You’ve probably come across her What’s Everyone Wearing in Paris series, or my personal favorite, Outfits Inspired by Film, featuring her original images. Best of all, she’s a self-proclaimed outfit repeater and looks great while doing it. Ofelia, welcome to the show.

Ofelia: Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here.

Maureen: One of the key themes of All the Above is about your experience living in Paris, being from the U.S. originally. I’d love to hear how your style has changed between living in the U.S. and in Paris. How has the change of scenery impacted your style?

Ofelia: Yeah, definitely. It’s changed quite a bit, I would say. For some additional context, I moved from Austin, Texas, where there’s maybe like two seasons—or one giant season and a couple months of mild winter. I didn’t really have to account for a lot of fluctuation. I mostly had to account for a lot of heat living in Austin.

Moving to Paris, I now have to account for actually living in four different seasons, and even within a single season there’s a lot of fluctuation. I’ve had to get really good at layering, and I also have to account for how hot I’m going to get while walking places—which is something I hadn’t really had to think about before because I was driving everywhere and not moving as much.

So now I start by opening the window every day and sticking my hand out to get a feel for the baseline temperature, then I either add or take off layers based on that. So, in terms of how much I’m wearing, it’s changed quite a bit.

Maureen: That’s so interesting because, you know, I would think that the key change would be like, “I dress more fabulously now.” And I think you’d probably say that’s the case—but so much of what I just heard in that answer is about very practical changes. You’re more exposed to the elements, you’re walking more.

It’s really interesting to talk about car culture and how that affects what we wear versus public transport culture. For me, I live in a car place right now in the Bay Area. And that means that, for example, when I was in Seattle recently, I wore Birkenstocks everywhere because the whole point was walking. But in the Bay Area, depending on what you’re doing, you’re just driving up to a restaurant. It’s really different.

How do you find ways to be creative with that practical requirement versus just defaulting to what’s most convenient? Is there tension there at all?

Ofelia: I think it really depends on the outdoor elements. One of my biggest struggles is the rain. I don’t have a solid rain shoe, and it’s actually really interesting—when we moved in December last year, I didn’t realize how rainy January and winter in general would be. It rained a lot.

At the time, I only had a few pairs of shoes, and the ones I wore most were suede tennis shoes—not great for rain. So now, as we’re approaching that season again, I’m thinking, “Okay, I really need to get a rain shoe figured out.” I could wear tennis shoes, but my feet would get soaked. I still remember the feeling of my toes being wet outside!

So yes, there is tension—but it’s mostly between utility and aesthetics. Like, how is this going to be cute while still functional?

It’s interesting, though, because when we talk about comfort, I think that changes from person to person, but also within the same person from place to place.

Before the pandemic, I would wear leggings, a sweater, and tennis shoes—that sounded comfortable to me. But in Paris, that’s frowned upon. I don’t really wear leggings outside of working out anymore.

Now, when I think of comfort, I think, okay, I’m dressing down, but I’m still wearing jeans. Depending on the season, that might mean a flowy blouse or, like today, a sweater layered over a t-shirt.

This morning I was wearing loafers, but I had to run an errand and changed into tennis shoes. The tension is still there, but I kind of balance it out throughout the day—appeasing one side of my brain at a time. Sometimes I’ll think, “My toes need a break,” so I’ll wear tennis shoes today so I can wear cute flats tomorrow.

Maureen: Yeah, and maybe this is encouragement—but I’d love if you wrote a post about what Parisians wear in the rain! The Bay Area is surprisingly rainy—we really only have two seasons, the wet and the dry. When it rains, it pours. I’ve been trying to figure out my own rain situation, so very selfishly, I’d love a post on that.

Ofelia: On it. I think I have more mental capacity this year to do it versus last year.

Maureen: I have a bit of an ephemeral question, but I’m hoping you’ll go there with me. I’d love to talk about the intersection between your film photography and your interest in personal style. How do those two relate to you? And how do they differ?

Ofelia: I think that’s actually a really interesting question. I think they both exist on a spectrum, and I’d say they’re quite similar in a few senses.

Film photography has so many ranges within it, right? I’m not sure how familiar you are with film cameras, but you can buy a point-and-shoot, a disposable, or you can get really technical and buy manual cameras where you’re adjusting every tiny thing.

And I think when we also think about style, it’s similar. We can hop on the trends and say, “I like that, I like that,” and that’s totally valid and fine. Or we can really discern what we actually like—what makes us feel interested or alive, what gives us that fun spark inside.

For me, film photography does that—it gives me that same sense of discovery and play. So when I compare both mediums, they’re on the same spectrum. One is often more expensive and technical, while the other can be looser and more forgiving.

Maureen: And which one feels more technical for you personally?

Ofelia: For me, film photography is more technical.

In terms of style, I guess let me backtrack a little. I didn’t really start thinking about how I was getting dressed until post-pandemic, which is interesting because that’s also when I started getting into film photography—around the same time.

A while back, I wrote an article about what I called the Five Hierarchies of Fashion. At the very base level, you just need something to wear. Once that need is satisfied, you might start asking, “Do I actually like what I’m wearing?”

Then, after that, you start thinking about the fabrics—how they feel on your body, how long they last. Once you’ve figured that out, maybe you start asking about sustainability practices.

So, to me, I’ve reached a certain level of technicality within fashion. But compared to others, I’m not extremely technical yet—like when it comes to proportions or sleeve cuts, I’m still learning.

So in that sense, film photography feels more technical for me because I dove deep into that world much more rapidly. But the technicality in fashion absolutely exists—it just depends on what people are interested in at a given moment. And those interests can shift drastically over the years.

Maureen: I’d love your perspective on that “ramp up” between the two. From my point of view, clothing technicality feels extremely high-effort and high-resource to climb, in terms of that hierarchy you mentioned. How do you feel the two compare? Does one have a higher barrier to entry than the other? Or does it just depend on your level of interest?

Ofelia: I think it depends on your level of interest.

You could very easily start flirting with film photography by picking up a point-and-shoot camera—it’s a little more advanced than a disposable, but maybe it has a zoom lens or lets you turn the flash on and off. That kind of gets you in the mindset of thinking, Okay, I want a slightly better photo than a disposable, but I’m not quite ready for full manual yet.

And fashion is similar. We can think, Okay, I want a white t-shirt. And that’s such a big, ongoing debate—what’s the best white t-shirt? But I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer. It’s more like: What are you looking for? How do you want it to lay on your body? Do you want a baby tee? Do you want pointelle? Or even—do you want a white t-shirt at all?

And so I think it’s really the curiosity around what you’re trying to get to that pushes and propels you in that direction.

Maureen: Hmm, I love that. And such a good analogy too. You know, separately, I’ve been thinking about this same concept—I didn’t realize you had an amazing post on it! I’m going to read it right after and link it in the show notes.

I’ve been thinking about that idea of “levels” too. I feel like personally I’m phasing up into a higher level of personal style. For a while, I was just getting dressed, putting clothes on my body—it felt very survival mode, with some moments of joy and self-actualization.

But now I feel like I’m moving into a place of, oh, I really do like this, and I don’t connect with that, in a much more intentional and exciting way.

You kind of alluded to where you feel that you are—are you trying to go further up the ranks, or do you feel like you’re in a place of stasis? How do you think about that for yourself?

Ofelia: No, I don’t think personal style is ever-ending, to be honest. I think we all reach certain plateaus where we stay for a bit—we’re content where we are—and then something happens that propels us forward again.

When we allow ourselves perspective, that’s when those big jumps happen. What I mean is, you get up and get dressed every day, and eventually you realize, okay, I have a solid outfit that I really love.

For example, I love button-downs. I have so many ways I can style them. But then there comes a point where I think, I’ve worn a lot of button-downs lately… I need something else. How am I going to change this?

And it doesn’t always have to be an insane shift. Like this year, brooches have been huge—and still are. I saw people pin them along the button placket or on sleeves. Just yesterday, I saw someone—I think her name is Michelle Lynn, though I might be getting that wrong—who added a brooch to the back of her button-down. It created this really interesting silhouette, and I thought, Whoa, I never would’ve thought of that, but I kind of want to try it.

So I think I’m currently in between stages. I’m really happy with where I am, but it’s hard not to want to be here while also wanting to be there, if that makes sense. Sometimes I just wish someone could pull me up to the next level—but I know that’s not how it works.

Another hard part for me is that I’m a very slow shopper. My wishlist is endless, but if you put money in front of me and said, “Make a decision,” I’d freeze unless I’d been thinking about it for a long time. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

So, to answer your question, I’m happy where I am—but I’m thinking about what will propel me toward where I want to go next.

Maureen: Yeah, and the brooch is a great example. Are there any other things that have caught your eye—things you’re thinking about trying? Is it more about styling, or specific garments?

Ofelia: There are definitely a lot of garments I’d love to try. And honestly, I wish there were more rental options like Rent the Runway here in France. There are a few, but they’re mostly geared toward special occasions—like weddings or formal events.

I’d love to be able to rent everyday pieces just to experiment. For example, I’m really fascinated by suede. I’d love to try—well, one day I’d love to own a suede jacket—but suede is such a personal material. You really have to try on a lot to find the right fit.

I love it on other people, but I haven’t yet found one that makes me want to actually splurge, because it’s not cheap.

But I think one thing that I’m fascinated by—and I actually did try, I just didn’t buy at that time—mules.

Paloma Wool, the Spanish brand, had a pop-up in Paris during the early summer. And I actually went in because I just happened to be perusing—I love perusing—and this pair of sandals caught my eye. I went back before it closed, and they happened to have the mules. I was like, you know what, I’ll just try them on. And they were these beautiful mules, but they had calf hair on them.

It’s not something that I would ever, ever consider on a website. But the fact that I tried it on and I was like, wait a second, this is actually really, really cool—since then, I’ve been fascinated with this idea of a mule, but like also the idea of a mule as a very cool statement piece, if that makes sense.

Maureen: That’s awesome. I’m also thinking about how to… well, I came from the other direction of—I love calf hair and I’ve always loved calf hair—and I’m like, oh, how can I inject that into my style? I’m trying to figure out what garment to apply that on.

But I think that’s really interesting. There are so many different ways to conceptualize our wish lists. For me, it’s like I usually have a very specific concept in mind and I’m trying to find the right puzzle piece. Maybe you feel that way too—or even the suede jacket, it sounds like, or suede in general—is kind of like your equivalent of that.

And then there are also those little diamonds, you know, that really get the sparkle in our eye. There’s kind of a mix between those two that drives our taste and our excitement. Super interesting. I’m excited to see what happens for you with those.

I also, on that vein—I would consider you a tastemaker, right? You have the most beautiful flat lays, your series about what people are wearing. And even just hearing your take on being a very slow shopper yourself—I can just speak from my perspective—sometimes I feel like I need to personally embody the taste that I have in order to feel like I am a tastemaker.

How do you feel about that—the idea of embodying a taste versus having a taste and presenting it in a visual way? Is there tension for you between the two, or do you view them as separate?

Ofelia: I think, you know, there is a little bit of tension because I don’t consider myself a tastemaker. So you calling me a tastemaker—that’s so surprising. I’m insanely flattered, to be honest.

I think there is a bit of tension because maybe my idea of what a tastemaker is could be different. To me, a tastemaker is potentially ahead of the curve. They’re the ones maybe not dictating, but being interested in what’s fringe before it becomes popular. Obviously, fashion is cyclical, right? But they’re like the early adopters.

When we talk about technology, they’re the early adopters. And I feel like I’m a slow adopter in that sense, just from my consumption point of view.

But when I think of embodiment, I think the people who are the most authentic to themselves are those who wear their clothes and don’t let their clothes wear them—if that makes sense. It’s the individual, where they step into an outfit and it feels so much like them, regardless of where it falls within the trend cycle.

And, you know, it’s actually really interesting because I lean very minimal, but I am absolutely enamored and fascinated by women who wear bold prints—especially women who mix prints a lot—because my brain does not function like that, you know? So to me, I’m like, they are the tastemakers. They are the really cool people.

So maybe, to me, a tastemaker is someone who is the opposite of what I am.

Yeah, I think I need to sit with that one more.

Maureen: Well, I heard this quote a while ago that said, “When you’re an artist, you’re refining your art to a degree where you hope that it looks like someone else made it.” Like, it’s not going to be good enough until it doesn’t look like it was mine.

And I wonder if there’s a little bit of that tension here, where—certainly I don’t view myself as a tastemaker—but I put that out into the ether as something I wanted. And then someone was like, “I think of you as one.” And I was like, what?

Even just in our conversation, it’s the same kind of idea. To me, you’re a tastemaker not because you’re cutting edge, but because you’re extremely discerning and you have a very clear point of view of what you think is stylish and tasteful for you. And to me, that’s taste-making—because of the restraint.

I’m not saying my definition is right or yours is right or wrong—I like that they’re different.

Ofelia:I actually love the quote you brought up, and I think it healed many parts of me that were potentially broken. I very much agree with that quote, especially from my photography point of view.

I am so hypercritical of what I put out there. Sometimes it’s a struggle to share my work or even to write articles about style where I’m featured—like “What I Wore in Paris”—because I often think, well, what if it’s boring? What if no one likes it?

And I have to push myself to go back to, Why did I start writing? Why did I start photography? Why did I start sharing? It’s because I wanted to. I wanted to put my voice out there. And if I like it, if I felt good wearing that outfit—who cares what Sally, Sue, and Betty down the street think, you know?

I think the theme of this entire conversation is going to be tension. It actually makes me think of something—whenever I’m walking down the street with my husband, my brain just kind of turns off. Like, you know that gif of the little penguin walking? That’s me with my husband. My brain turns off, I’m just following him wherever we’re going.

And he’s like, “Do you notice all the people that stare at you when we’re walking down the street?” And I’m like, “No, I don’t.” And he’s like, “Yeah. It’s men and women.” And I’m like, “Oh, I’ve never really noticed.” And he’s like, “Yeah, a lot of people turn and look at you.”

And it’s really interesting because my first response is, Why are they doing that? Then I think, Is there something on my outfit? Do I have toilet paper on my shoe? It’s so interesting how your brain just wants to bring you down several notches while the rest of the world sees you in such a different light.

That kind of reminds me of that quote—it’s like, we want to be perceived so differently from our own point of view. But when other people recognize us for who we are, it’s like, wait a second, what’s going on here?

Maureen: Mm-hmm. I think this, to me, is a healing conversation too. Because for so much of my life, I’ve taken in fashion content by other people. And yes, you can write about insecurity, you can express uncertainty—but having a larger discussion about is this good enough? Am I good enough? Is the outfit good enough?—that’s so real.

You didn’t say those exact words, but I think that’s the core of the discussion: this feeling of enoughness. What is enough?

And when you’re a passive consumer of other people’s fashion or personal style content, it can be hard not to assume it’s always sunshine and rainbows and this confident glow that’s just always there. But maybe that’s not the case for everyone. Maybe some people do have that.

But I really appreciate you sharing that—it’s not always super easy.

Ofelia: It’s not — and I’m sure everyone, even the people who we think have it all together, have scenarios like this, or at least days, at a minimum. But definitely, they’ve experienced that before.

Maureen: Well, and just to reiterate, I’ve gotten that perspective from you — and I mean that in a very genuine, “I’m inspired by you” way. And so it is very easy to put on those rose-colored glasses and say, oh, it must be easy for her.

And to that point, I’m sure I am thinking of other creators too. But, you know, even within this conversation, I’d love to talk a little bit more about your personal style and how you choose what to buy and wear.

You know, we talked about being a slow adopter — I’m also a slow adopter, so I relate. But how do you decide what to buy and what not to buy? Or it sounds like mostly what not to buy.

Ofelia: What not to buy!

So, I actually keep — something that I started a long time ago — two types of wish lists. Because I’m a very practical shopper, I’ll say. There’s the I need this list versus the oh, that was kind of cool, that was intriguing to me list.

And I love to peruse and look at websites and even walk into stores, touch things and feel things, and really immerse myself in the experience. Based off of that, things shift — maybe they move on or off the list. It’s like this little teeter-totter situation.

And then I think, also, when I experience a great amount of tension, that’s when purchases happen for me.

So I assure you, probably in the next few months, I will have some sort of rain shoe on my feet. At this point, for example, I haven’t tried them on yet, but I am considering Salomons because they have a waterproof version. I have to actually do a little more research on that. And it’s something I’ve resisted for a long time, but I was like, okay, if this is what’s going to get me to the next step — potentially a different type of rain shoe — then that’s the direction I need to go.

But in terms of what I typically buy, those have been scenarios where I’m like, I really need a trench coat. I really need a trench coat. So that was one of my purchases last fall, and I have worn that trench coat so, so much. It’s one of my favorite purchases I’ve made.

And for example, I kid you not, I’ve probably tried on over 20 trench coats.

Maureen: I believe you!

Ofelia: I don’t recommend that!

And actually, I did a lot of trying on in Paris when we were here looking for an apartment, thinking like, okay, well, I’m going to find one. Where else am I going to find one in the fall? In Paris!

Turns out, I found it literally close to home. I went home, tried on something that I saw on the rack, and I was like, I’ve been in this store hundreds of times — why have I never even considered it?

And so I think tension — in terms of how much I think of something — really dictates purchasing for me.

And then, in terms of the fun wishlist — and this is something I’m trying to do for myself — every time I hit a thousand new subscribers on Substack, I buy myself a fun gift.

So when I hit my first thousand, I bought myself a — like, I don’t like the name Butter Yellow, but it’s called Butter Yellow…

Maureen: Rebrand it.

Ofelia: Rebrand Butter Yellow!

Maureen: Gosh. Do you have a word for it?

Ofelia: Banana Yellow? No, it’s horrible. Just a light yellow.

I bought a light yellow, kind of collarless jacket. And is it the most practical color? No. Was there a black option? Yes. But what gave me joy was the color yellow.

So I bought it. And I’ve worn it to dinner, I’ve worn it just around town doing nothing — and it just makes me happy.

And it reminds me of like, oh, I bought this when I hit a thousand subscribers. And so I told myself that every time I hit that milestone, I’m going to buy myself something fun. And so I kind of go to the other list and look — okay, well, what is giving me that energetic feel of a purchase that doesn’t feel like I need it?

I think that’s the way I teeter and totter between the two. But yes, I don’t buy a lot, actually. And I think it’s just because I try something on and then I’m like, ah, that’s not what I had in mind. It just doesn’t fit the way I thought it did. Or maybe I find something else, or I fall in love with something else that’s similar. So, yeah.

Maureen: I love the Salomon idea — going back, like, with a trench? I don’t know, I think that could be cool.

Ofelia: Right? I’m warming up to the idea. I’m trying to decide — I need to go in and look at the colors. I know white is the classic. I don’t think I’d want black. But if there was a brown tone, that could work. That could potentially work. But stay tuned — we’ll see.

Maureen: I bought a pair this summer — they’re hiking ones. I actually wear them to hike, that’s why I bought them. But I definitely have had a few moments where I’m like, ooh, these are very nice. They are reasonably styled, you know what I mean? Like they have a form factor to them that I find interesting.

And now sometimes I’m like, oh, do I need a beige pair with the little red tabs?

Ofelia: Yes! That could be cool, actually.

Maureen: I don’t know — just throwing it out there.

Ofelia: I’ve been working on a “What brands Parisians are wearing” article, and Salomons are one of them. They are wearing those.

Maureen: You know, I’m excited to read that one as well.

So let’s talk about body awareness. This is kind of the concept of embodiment — slightly different from how we were talking about it earlier — more about how things feel on our bodies. How do we feel when we wear specific textures, fits, or styles? Are there things that you gravitate towards or away from because of how they make you feel or feel on your body?

Ofelia: think, in essence, I gravitate toward things that bring ease into my life.

For example — two contradicting things (they’re both dresses, but in my mind, they’re different). I love smocked-top dresses in the summer. One, I hope it’s okay to say, I don’t like wearing a bra in the summer. So I like the idea of just putting something on — and so far, I’ve been fortunate enough that it works.

And also, having lived in stupid hot weather for so long, any additional layer was just too much. So I still go back to that — the ease of throwing something on in the summer makes me feel put together. Especially when it’s hot outside and your senses are overloaded.

On the flip side — and it also gives me ease — last summer, I bought a knit dress. It’s not body-con, but it does hug your curves. I remember I was trying something else on in the store and the sales associate brought it to me. I told her, I’m not going to like this.

Because I have hips — things fit me differently compared to someone else who doesn’t. And I just knew I wasn’t going to like it. But she said, just try it on.

So I did. And I kid you not — I gasped. I was shocked at how beautiful I felt in that dress.

And I think it had to do with the weight of the cotton. It lays beautifully — it doesn’t contract or cling. It still lets you breathe and move, even while it shows your shape. And I thought, wow, I’ve never felt this beautiful in a dress that was seemingly this tight.

So I think ease has a lot to do with that — especially in summer.

But also in winter — especially fall/winter, when you’re often covered by outer layers — I’m most likely in jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater. There’s nothing necessarily groundbreaking about that, unless you have a really cool sweater that maybe has armholes, or you can tie it a certain way.

So I also gravitate toward pieces that give me ease and make me feel put together, even when I’m doing something repetitive.

And — unfortunately or fortunately for me — I really love the feel and fit of vintage Levi’s. I own 501s and 505s. They’re not cheap, and they take a long time to find the right pair. But I love that you can’t rely on the label.

I have two different pairs — technically different styles, different sizes — and I never once thought about that. Growing up, I was very fixated on fitting into a specific size because a company told me I needed to. So I love that the illusion of that is gone — now I just look for what fits me.

And I don’t know what voodoo they put in those jeans, but the fit is just fantastic. Maybe it’s the denim they used back then.

Maureen: When it’s that perfect amount of wear — it’s worn in but not saggy?

Ofelia: Exactly. In the denim specifically, yes.

Maureen: And I think you mentioned something about versatility — like wearing something day in, day out. Is that a form of ease for you, being able to wear something without getting sick of it? Or is it also about how it functions in your life?

Ofelia: Yeah — yes, I think it has to do with versatility too.

When I think about the clothes I wear most, it’s always the ones that fit more than one scenario — or silhouettes that adapt to different ones. I love a wide-leg jean, but I love them even more with a pointy shoe.

When I wear a wide-leg jean — and I only own one type of them — I haven’t yet tested out other pairings. But I find that I feel best when there’s a pointed shoe involved.

And when there isn’t, I don’t love it — even though I love that piece in another scenario. If that makes sense.

Maureen: I find that so interesting — where our particular point of view and our body and how we want our body to look comes into play. You know, going back to the film photography metaphor — one of the big differences I’d say between film as an art expression versus how we dress ourselves as a creative expression is that film doesn’t reflect our body image or how we feel about our bodies.

And I’m not saying you’re talking about your body, but there is an aesthetic preference — like, for example, with the pointed-toe shoe for how you want to wear a wide leg.

For me, the difference with film is that it’s less personal. With clothing, it’s much harder to nail because it’s so tied to how we view ourselves and how we want to be perceived. A photograph can be part of us, but it’s not connected to how we feel in our bodies.

And going back to the wide-leg pant example — I personally like how wide-leg pants look with any type of shoe on me. I think it’s fascinating how we can have the same item but different aesthetic preferences for how it looks on us versus someone else.

Like, for example, I love how a straight-leg pant looks on other people with a sneaker, but I hate that combination on me. And instead, I love a wide-leg pant with a sneaker — because you can’t see it.

Ofelia: Yeah, because the sneaker disappears.

Maureen: Exactly! So again, there’s that tension between what we like on ourselves versus what we like on others — and how we make sense of that.

Ofelia: 100%. And it actually reminds me of something Heather Hurst said a long time ago in one of her videos. She was trying on a ton of different jeans, and everyone in the comments was like, “Oh, what straight-leg jean is that?” And she said, “It’s actually a bootcut.”

You know, it’s like — to you, it’s perceived as one thing, but on my body it gives the illusion of something else. And that really stuck with me. It’s this idea that we need to lean into what we feel good in — not what something is labeled as, or what it’s “supposed” to be.

Like, “Oh, I need to buy this because it’s a straight leg,” or “I should wear that because it’s trendy.” No. It’s really about what works for you.

And I also think we’re way more critical of ourselves than others are of us. Like, I’m sure if I showed up to your house in a wide-leg jean and sneakers, you’d be like, “That’s fabulous.” But I’d be like, “I’m so sorry, I just ran out the door and this is all I had.”

I think that’s super fair too — because we’re all moving within our own little “fashion hierarchy.” Maybe for you, a wide-leg pant with a sneaker is just like — “these are clothes.” But for me, that combination might feel more elevated.

And neither one is wrong. They just mean different things to us. And I think that’s kind of amazing, actually.

Maureen: Yeah— that’s beautifully said. And I think they should mean different things, because that means we’re comparing ourselves only to our own standard, not someone else’s.

Ofelia: Exactly. Because we’ll fail every time if we measure ourselves by someone else’s standard.

Maureen: A thousand percent.

So, what advice would you give to someone trying to build a wardrobe that feels intuitive and authentic to them?

Ofelia: I think, generally, you should start by figuring out what you like and don’t like. And one great way to do that — actually, I have two — is to take a picture every day and write down what you liked or didn’t like about what you wore.

And I don’t mean just how it looked, but how it felt. You can absolutely note if something flatters a certain part of your body or not, but try not to tear yourself down in that process. You want to build yourself up.

Approach it curiously — like, “What can I learn from this outfit today? What did I like? What didn’t I?”

Because one of the biggest impulses we have is to go out and buy something new. But I’d say — don’t do that right away. Sit with your closet. Work within that tension.

One thing I did years ago was hang all my hangers backward — so when I took something off, I had to unhook it the other way. After a month or two, anything still hanging backward meant I hadn’t worn it.

Now, you can use wardrobe-tracking apps like Indyx, but I’m a very visual person, so seeing it in my closet was really powerful.

Then, I’d take those unworn pieces off the hangers, put them in a black bag, and leave it in the corner of my closet for a month or two. If I didn’t think about any of those pieces during that time — I wouldn’t even open the bag. I’d just donate it or give it to a friend to sell.

And that really helped me let go. I honestly can’t tell you a single thing that was in those bags I donated years ago. Not one thing.

So, to me, that says those items were just taking up space — in my closet and in my mind.

Once you’ve created enough space — physically and mentally — then you can start rendezvousing with new pieces out in the world.

Maureen: Such good advice — and hard advice to actually follow. It’s tough, respectfully. But you’re so right. It is important to sit with the clothes we already have and learn from them before we spend all of our money and time elsewhere.

Thank you so much, Ofelia. This was lovely. Where can listeners find you?

Ofelia: You can find me on All The Above on Substack. I’m also on Instagram, TikTok, and I’m sometimes pinning things on Pinterest. I believe my username for all of them is just @ofeliarig.

Maureen: Cool handle.

Ofelia: I hope you come hang out.

Maureen: Awesome. I’ll make sure to link to all of those in the show notes. Thank you again for joining me — this was a delight.

Ofelia: Thank you so much for having me.

Outro

Intuitive Style is produced, edited, and hosted by me, Maureen McLennon Welton. Our theme music is by Tim Reed and Jacob Welton.

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