This week on Talk Shit Or Get Off The Pod, Andrew and Joseph tackle the hard-hitting questions that absolutely nobody asked for but somehow need answers.

First, you’re getting dropped into danger: would you rather face dinosaurs in Jurassic Park armed with a shotgun, or survive The Walking Dead with only a sword? Then we debate the ethical implications of having the power to make anyone instantly shit their pants once per month… at the cost of randomly shitting your own pants once a year. Is the trade worth it?

Things get even more ridiculous as we determine whether fighting a chimpanzee inside a Costco is preferable to battling a kangaroo in a trampoline park, and whether one night in a haunted hotel is actually worse than spending a night surrounded by toddlers who never sleep.

We also break down the latest headlines, including the wild swings in the stock market as AI mania continues to rattle investors, a surprising Texas political twist involving Ken Paxton and James Talarico, efforts to impeach a federal judge over a judicial discipline case, and the latest warnings about the future of Social Security trust funds.

As always, questionable logic, unnecessary confidence, and absolutely no professional expertise included.

Music featured in this episode: “Sweetness” by Mr. Goody Two Shoes (Jimmy Eat World Cover)