Confidence

 

“To establish true self-confidence, we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives.” — Denis Waitley

 

Nobody is born with high or low self-confidence. Confidence is a feeling that people develop and work on over time. For most people, confidence is something that comes and goes.

 

ME:

Very confident in High school

Lost a lot of confidence in college

Had to gain it back

CONFIDENCE COMES AND GOES. You must constantly work on your confidence.

 

Think in terms of a cycle

Top of cycleFocused on successes, accomplishments

Feel confident and strong

BottomFocused on failures

May feel low self-confidence and defeat

Realize that confidence is like a muscle: the more you work on it, the easier it will become for you to use and maintain

 

We see this cycle constantly in NM. The ups and downs. Highs and Lows

NM: getting people to drink your koolaid

No one wants to drink your koolaid = confidence hit

This is why we are constantly focused on self development

It’s a tough industry. You must be strong and work on your confidence.

 

What is Self Confidence?

Feeling when strutting into an interview, knowing that you will impress

A person feels confident when they believe they can successfully do something byApplying their judgement, knowledge and prior life experiences

 

How does SC impact your life?

Boosts our self-esteem

Diminishes stress

Pushes us to act

Makes us feel good about ourselves

 

People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

People are reluctant to back a person who isnervous,

fumbling and

overly apologetic

People are persuaded by people whospeak clearly,

hold their head high,

answer questions assuredly,

and readily admit when they do not know something.

 

Confident Behavior vs. Low Confidence behavior

 

Confident Behavior

Doing what you believe to be right, even if criticized or mocked

Being willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things

Admitting your mistakes, and learning from them

Waiting for others to congratulate you on your accomplishments

Accepting compliments graciously.

 

Low-Confidence behavior

Governing behavior based on what other people think

Staying in your comfort zone, fearing failure, and avoiding taking risks

Working hard to cover up mistakes and hoping that you can fix the problem before anyone notices

Talking about your accomplishments to as many people as possible

Dismissing compliments offhandedly.

 

The examples show that low confidence can be self destructive, and it often manifests as negativity.

 

 

What contributes toward SC?

 

self-efficacy and self-esteem

 

Self Efficacy: a belief that you have the innate ability to achieve your goals, overcome challenges and succeed.

 

We gain a sense of self-efficacy when:

we see ourselves mastering skills

And achieving goals that matter in those skill areas.

This is the confidence that, if we learn to work hard in a particular area, we’ll succeed.

This type of confidence leads people to accept difficult challenges

Persist in the face of setbacks

 

This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem.

Self-Esteem: Person’s evaluation on their self worth and value

Confidence and SE have a direct correlation

When you believe in yourself, your talents, capabilities, worth and potential - both your SE and SC increases.

When your SE increasesYou believe you are worthy of the life you dream of and the success you desire.

You will become more confident

Easily accept your failures

Give yourself the credit you deserve

Accept new challenges

Become happier

This has a relationship with happinessPeople who feel good about themselves are significantly happier than those who lack self worth.

When SC increases, SE and happiness do the same.

 

 

Building Self Confidence

 

There is no quick fix

The things that you do to build confidence will help build your success

Have focus and determination.

 

“One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” — Arthur Ashe

 

 

Step 1: Preparing your journey

 

 

Look at what you have already achievedList the ten best things you’ve achieved.

Spend a few minutes each week looking at these achievements to see success that you have already had

 

 

Think about your strengthsTake a look at who you are

Personality tests

What would your friends consider to be your strengths and weaknesses

 

 

Think about what is important to you and where you want to goSetting and achieving goals is the key to this

Real confidence comes from achieving goals

Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face

 

 

Start managing your mindDefeat negative self-talk: can destroy your confidence

Create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals

 

 

Commit yourself to successPromise yourself that you are committed to your journey and that you will do everything in your power to achieve it

If doubts start to surfaceWrite them down and challenge them calmly and rationally

Manage these doubts appropriately

 

Use appearance to your advantage2 equally qualified candidates at a job interview

App 1: doesn’t shake hand, slouches, no eye contact, looks messy

App 2: Firm handshake, sits up straight, looks you in the eye, wears nice suitWho would you choose?

It’s proven: people who feel good about the way they look feel greater SC and SE

Use your appearance and body language to make yourself feel more confident in any situation.

 

 

Step 2: Setting Out

 

 

Start to move toward your goal ever so slowly

Do the right things and celebrate the small wins

 

Build the knowledge that you need to succeedLook at your goals and identify skills needed to achieve them

Look at how you can aqcuire these skills confidently and well (don’t accept half-ass)

Look for a program or course that full equips you to achieve wha you want to achieve

 

 

Accelerate towards successOnce you have completed some learning, you will have plenty of success to celebrate

Start stretching yourself.

Make your goals bigger, and the challenges tougher.

Increase the size of your commitment

 

 

 

Self-confidence is not always easy to achieve or maintain

but it’s something that everyone deserves to experience.

There are many reasons why confidence is essential in our personal and professional lives,

but most importantly, it plays an integral role in our happiness.