Two celestial bodies align, like lovers on a warm summers night. Gaseous expulsions and deep craters heaving with desire while the earth watches, wondering, whispering. "Is that Nibiru," someone asks. "This proves flat earth," another squeaks.

 

This week the Hypothetical Institute examine the sweaty sheets left by this apocalyptic orgy of oversized orbiting. Is the earth still round? Is Nibiru coming back to smash into us? Should we kill our dogs? There's only one way to find out and only one team talented enough to tackle this disgustingly decadent display of heavenly hedonism.