Back in the saddle and twice as pissed, your boys in blue are back to recap the degradation kink demo that was New York City FC’s first ever home opener loss to the very Portland Timbers. One goal from Santi Rodriguez was not enough for the boys to bask in, and scared coaching left us scratching our heads as the Timbers knocked two past our timbs to leave us pointless (and pointless) in three matches. Plus: branding, media mumbles, and stadium renderings. And: a precap of the return of Seannie Johnny and Toronto. Make sure to wear your loosest jacket; it’s warming up and you’ve got Blue Balls.