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Episode 3: Squeeze Harder
Hey folks, welcome to Episode 3: Squeeze Harder of Adjust Accordionly, where I’m crankin’ the accordion for a polka-primed recap of May 11 to 17, 2025’s zaniest news and events before pummeling you goofballs with another original track! This week’s polka torches headlines like Kanye’s Hitler-ing, Trump ending the The Ukraine War , Our President’s F-bomb, and SCOTUS teeing Trump up for his Andrew Jackson moment; all with a wurlitzer’s bite. Then, we dive into “Black Pill,” a crooner-surf-rockabilly-doowop ultra-violence fantasy from the 2020 George Fentanyl riots, starring an anti-hero with a cool jacket. It’s a high-octane riot with accordion swagger—Adjust Accordionly!
Polka Week in Review: May 11 to May 17, 2025
Polka week in review, May eleven to seventeen’s news,
Headlines blaze, the polka’s craze, let’s take a cruise!
From Kanye’s rants to Trump’s bold stand, let’s go 1-2-3,
Grab your accordion, let’s set it, Adjust Accordionly!
Kanye’s Hitler jab starts our crazy week off well,
WaPo’s shell game, Baldwin shoots Rust, Hallmark’s tariff fail,
Trump slashes drugs, Big Pharma’s on its knees,
Reparations crash, Democrats defeated with ease,
South Africa’s in chaos, Trump talks about their luck,
WEF’s global scam exposed when Trump drops a duck!
Week’s a riot, left’s in quiet, hear the polka sing,
From scams to fights, we’ll torch the slights, let the tubas ring!
Hey! Hot Afrikaner refugees gain overwhelming cheers,
Ho! Rogue judge falls, ICE clears the fears!
No woke Hollywood’s lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots hold strong,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Trump ends NATO’s war in Ukraine just like he planned,
Judge and Starmer flop, expose the globalists’ weak hand,
Comey’s eighty-sixed, FBI spoils his plot,
Say goodbye to racist roads, SCOTUS gives 1832 another shot,
Kanye’s 14 words make the leftoids cry,
Trump’s deportations make illegals fly!
Week’s a spark, rips through the dark, polka’s got that flair,
From fakes to rules, we’ll school the fools, news fills the air!
Hey! NATO faces extinction let’s all clank our beers,
Ho! Plan trusters right again let’s all stand and cheer!
No dopey media lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots hold strong,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Week’s a fire, hearts climb higher, hear the polka’s cheer,
From rants to fights, we’ll dodge the slights, no globalist veneer!
With jest and pride, we’ll turn the tide, our spirit’s unbound,
Dance to the beat, accordion’s heat, let headlines’ sound be found!
Week’s a blaze, left’s in a haze, hear the polka’s roar,
From Ye’s Hitler heiling to Trump’s command, we settle the score!
With grit and might, we’ll win the fight, our spirit’s unbound,
Dance to the news, accordion’s muse, let truth’s sound be found!
Hey! Starmer’s IDs spark freedom’s fight,
Ho! Burj flag flies, anti-globalist light!
Boykin’s fraud falls, X’s truth won’t bend,
Russia’s bold stand, Ukraine’s at its end!
Drums and brass, guitar’s fast pass, our spirits never wrong,
Hey! May’s wild spark to headlines’ mark, we’ll keep it strong!
No woke surveillance lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots are long,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Adjust. Accordionly!
News Headlines Covered: May 11 to May 17, 2025
* Kanye’s Hitler Rant Ignites X (May 11, 2025)Kanye’s X posts praising Hitler spark a firestorm, with right-wing fans cheering his “Hitler-ing” while critics clutch pearls, amplifying the culture war on social media.
* Media and Baldwin’s Rust Flop Hard (May 11–17, 2025)WaPo spins Comey’s schemes, Hallmark’s tariff woes tank, and Baldwin’s Rust bombs, mocked on X as leftist media’s latest faceplant, with users piling on the “shell game.”
* Trump Slashes Drug Prices (May 12, 2025)Trump’s executive action guts Big Pharma’s price hikes, cheered by patriots on X as a blow to corporate greed, while drug giants scramble to spin the loss.
* Reparations Bill Crashes in Congress (May 12, 2025)A reparations push flops as Democrats face defeat, with X users slamming it as a divisive grift, boosting anti-leftist memes and “crash” gifs galore.
* South Africa’s Chaos Draws Trump’s Ire (May 13, 2025)Afrikaner complaints and refugee slogans trend on X as Trump calls out South Africa’s “luck,” fueling debates over global migration and national sovereignty.
* Trump’s F-Bomb Rocks WEF (May 14, 2025)Trump’s “chung-gantuan” F-bomb at the WEF goes viral, with X hailing it as a death knell for globalist scams, while elites reel from the “fall down dead” moment.
* Trump Ends NATO’s Ukraine War (May 14, 2025)Trump’s peace talks “yeet” NATO’s war into the “dustbin of history,” with X users praising his deal-making as Ukraine’s conflict winds down, irking globalist hawks.
* Judge and Starmer’s Globalist Flops (May 15–16, 2025)A judge’s ICE indictment and Starmer’s UK ID push crumble, with X mocking their “weak hand” as Russia’s Ukraine demands also falter, exposing globalist overreach.
* Comey’s Deep State Plot Busted (May 16, 2025)Comey’s cryptic “8647” X post triggers an FBI probe, with patriots cheering he’s “eighty-sixed” as Deep State schemes get aired out in viral threads.
* SCOTUS Rejects 1832 Act, DOT Ditches Road Claims (May 15–17, 2025)SCOTUS fumbles the Alien Enemies Act, leaving room for Trump to channel Jackson’s grit, while DOT scraps “racist roads” nonsense, celebrated on X as a leftist L.
* Kanye’s “14 Words” Stir Chaos (May 17, 2025)Kanye’s new song sends many on right and left into a tailspin, with X debates raging over free speech and Ye’s anti-establishment crusade.
* Trump’s Deportation Push Surges (May 17, 2025)Trump’s veteran funds and deportation plans, including self-deportation, go “clickety-clack” on X, with supporters hyping it as a border security win.
Thanks for reading Adjust Accordionly! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Black Pill
Losing faith for sure;
Find it hard to endure;
New circumstance of life;
Growing dim inside
Mass collapse growing near;
Praying hard to steer clear;
Not wanting to endure;
Losing faith for sure
They say not to take heart;
And not let faith be forgot;
You can’t let evil prevail;
But that evil bringeth hell—
...and I’ll ring that bell
Death like vultures;
Dancing ‘round the flame;
Black hooded masks;
To them it’s just a game
But to the rest;
It’s something more severe;
Me and my Buick leave riots;
As a smeer
...with a sneer
From my rearview mirror
Ain’t got much;
Just a shovel and a gun;
And me and the boys;
We’re cruisin’ just for fun
Found ourselves a vulture;
Separate from the pack;
It didn’t take much;
To stuff him in the back
...attack
And his jaw went slack
Out in the desert;
Wind at our back;
Going to the trunk;
Ain’t looking for the jack
Pull the vulture out;
Rake him cross the coals;
Hand him that shovel;
Digging his own hole
...all told
That’s how the tale unfolds
Now baby don’t tell me;
That you don’t love your man;
And don’t you shy away when;
He offers his hand
Now the landscape it may;
It may be stark;
And the road ahead;
It may be very...
Dark ...but don’t you tell me
That you don’t love your man
Your man he sees you;
Standing there like a dream;
Barren wasteland asunder;
In the distance a scream
Retail fires are raging;
And you’re a-raging too;
In words torn from a novel;
He moves right next to you
...and don’t you tell me
That you don’t love your man
Baby baby now;
don’t you love your man;
Oh yeah baby;
don’t you love your man;
Know he’s doing for you;
best that he can;
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit accordion.substack.com
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit accordion.substack.com
View all episodes
By jeffaccordionHey folks, welcome to Episode 3: Squeeze Harder of Adjust Accordionly, where I’m crankin’ the accordion for a polka-primed recap of May 11 to 17, 2025’s zaniest news and events before pummeling you goofballs with another original track! This week’s polka torches headlines like Kanye’s Hitler-ing, Trump ending the The Ukraine War , Our President’s F-bomb, and SCOTUS teeing Trump up for his Andrew Jackson moment; all with a wurlitzer’s bite. Then, we dive into “Black Pill,” a crooner-surf-rockabilly-doowop ultra-violence fantasy from the 2020 George Fentanyl riots, starring an anti-hero with a cool jacket. It’s a high-octane riot with accordion swagger—Adjust Accordionly!
Polka Week in Review: May 11 to May 17, 2025
Polka week in review, May eleven to seventeen’s news,
Headlines blaze, the polka’s craze, let’s take a cruise!
From Kanye’s rants to Trump’s bold stand, let’s go 1-2-3,
Grab your accordion, let’s set it, Adjust Accordionly!
Kanye’s Hitler jab starts our crazy week off well,
WaPo’s shell game, Baldwin shoots Rust, Hallmark’s tariff fail,
Trump slashes drugs, Big Pharma’s on its knees,
Reparations crash, Democrats defeated with ease,
South Africa’s in chaos, Trump talks about their luck,
WEF’s global scam exposed when Trump drops a duck!
Week’s a riot, left’s in quiet, hear the polka sing,
From scams to fights, we’ll torch the slights, let the tubas ring!
Hey! Hot Afrikaner refugees gain overwhelming cheers,
Ho! Rogue judge falls, ICE clears the fears!
No woke Hollywood’s lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots hold strong,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Trump ends NATO’s war in Ukraine just like he planned,
Judge and Starmer flop, expose the globalists’ weak hand,
Comey’s eighty-sixed, FBI spoils his plot,
Say goodbye to racist roads, SCOTUS gives 1832 another shot,
Kanye’s 14 words make the leftoids cry,
Trump’s deportations make illegals fly!
Week’s a spark, rips through the dark, polka’s got that flair,
From fakes to rules, we’ll school the fools, news fills the air!
Hey! NATO faces extinction let’s all clank our beers,
Ho! Plan trusters right again let’s all stand and cheer!
No dopey media lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots hold strong,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Week’s a fire, hearts climb higher, hear the polka’s cheer,
From rants to fights, we’ll dodge the slights, no globalist veneer!
With jest and pride, we’ll turn the tide, our spirit’s unbound,
Dance to the beat, accordion’s heat, let headlines’ sound be found!
Week’s a blaze, left’s in a haze, hear the polka’s roar,
From Ye’s Hitler heiling to Trump’s command, we settle the score!
With grit and might, we’ll win the fight, our spirit’s unbound,
Dance to the news, accordion’s muse, let truth’s sound be found!
Hey! Starmer’s IDs spark freedom’s fight,
Ho! Burj flag flies, anti-globalist light!
Boykin’s fraud falls, X’s truth won’t bend,
Russia’s bold stand, Ukraine’s at its end!
Drums and brass, guitar’s fast pass, our spirits never wrong,
Hey! May’s wild spark to headlines’ mark, we’ll keep it strong!
No woke surveillance lies, we’ll keep the beat, our roots are long,
Hey! Ho! Adjust Accordionly!
Adjust. Accordionly!
News Headlines Covered: May 11 to May 17, 2025
* Kanye’s Hitler Rant Ignites X (May 11, 2025)Kanye’s X posts praising Hitler spark a firestorm, with right-wing fans cheering his “Hitler-ing” while critics clutch pearls, amplifying the culture war on social media.
* Media and Baldwin’s Rust Flop Hard (May 11–17, 2025)WaPo spins Comey’s schemes, Hallmark’s tariff woes tank, and Baldwin’s Rust bombs, mocked on X as leftist media’s latest faceplant, with users piling on the “shell game.”
* Trump Slashes Drug Prices (May 12, 2025)Trump’s executive action guts Big Pharma’s price hikes, cheered by patriots on X as a blow to corporate greed, while drug giants scramble to spin the loss.
* Reparations Bill Crashes in Congress (May 12, 2025)A reparations push flops as Democrats face defeat, with X users slamming it as a divisive grift, boosting anti-leftist memes and “crash” gifs galore.
* South Africa’s Chaos Draws Trump’s Ire (May 13, 2025)Afrikaner complaints and refugee slogans trend on X as Trump calls out South Africa’s “luck,” fueling debates over global migration and national sovereignty.
* Trump’s F-Bomb Rocks WEF (May 14, 2025)Trump’s “chung-gantuan” F-bomb at the WEF goes viral, with X hailing it as a death knell for globalist scams, while elites reel from the “fall down dead” moment.
* Trump Ends NATO’s Ukraine War (May 14, 2025)Trump’s peace talks “yeet” NATO’s war into the “dustbin of history,” with X users praising his deal-making as Ukraine’s conflict winds down, irking globalist hawks.
* Judge and Starmer’s Globalist Flops (May 15–16, 2025)A judge’s ICE indictment and Starmer’s UK ID push crumble, with X mocking their “weak hand” as Russia’s Ukraine demands also falter, exposing globalist overreach.
* Comey’s Deep State Plot Busted (May 16, 2025)Comey’s cryptic “8647” X post triggers an FBI probe, with patriots cheering he’s “eighty-sixed” as Deep State schemes get aired out in viral threads.
* SCOTUS Rejects 1832 Act, DOT Ditches Road Claims (May 15–17, 2025)SCOTUS fumbles the Alien Enemies Act, leaving room for Trump to channel Jackson’s grit, while DOT scraps “racist roads” nonsense, celebrated on X as a leftist L.
* Kanye’s “14 Words” Stir Chaos (May 17, 2025)Kanye’s new song sends many on right and left into a tailspin, with X debates raging over free speech and Ye’s anti-establishment crusade.
* Trump’s Deportation Push Surges (May 17, 2025)Trump’s veteran funds and deportation plans, including self-deportation, go “clickety-clack” on X, with supporters hyping it as a border security win.
Thanks for reading Adjust Accordionly! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Black Pill
Losing faith for sure;
Find it hard to endure;
New circumstance of life;
Growing dim inside
Mass collapse growing near;
Praying hard to steer clear;
Not wanting to endure;
Losing faith for sure
They say not to take heart;
And not let faith be forgot;
You can’t let evil prevail;
But that evil bringeth hell—
...and I’ll ring that bell
Death like vultures;
Dancing ‘round the flame;
Black hooded masks;
To them it’s just a game
But to the rest;
It’s something more severe;
Me and my Buick leave riots;
As a smeer
...with a sneer
From my rearview mirror
Ain’t got much;
Just a shovel and a gun;
And me and the boys;
We’re cruisin’ just for fun
Found ourselves a vulture;
Separate from the pack;
It didn’t take much;
To stuff him in the back
...attack
And his jaw went slack
Out in the desert;
Wind at our back;
Going to the trunk;
Ain’t looking for the jack
Pull the vulture out;
Rake him cross the coals;
Hand him that shovel;
Digging his own hole
...all told
That’s how the tale unfolds
Now baby don’t tell me;
That you don’t love your man;
And don’t you shy away when;
He offers his hand
Now the landscape it may;
It may be stark;
And the road ahead;
It may be very...
Dark ...but don’t you tell me
That you don’t love your man
Your man he sees you;
Standing there like a dream;
Barren wasteland asunder;
In the distance a scream
Retail fires are raging;
And you’re a-raging too;
In words torn from a novel;
He moves right next to you
...and don’t you tell me
That you don’t love your man
Baby baby now;
don’t you love your man;
Oh yeah baby;
don’t you love your man;
Know he’s doing for you;
best that he can;
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
Don’t tell me baby;
that you don’t love your man
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit accordion.substack.com
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit accordion.substack.com