Most of the hardest moments in our careers don’t come from bad code.They come from protecting a version of ourselves.

In this episode of Beyond the Stack, Michael explores how the professional identity we build over time can quietly distort clarity—especially in technical work. What begins as competence, experience, and expertise can harden into something fragile. And once that happens, feedback stops feeling like information and starts feeling like a threat.

Rather than framing this as immaturity or arrogance, this episode looks at ego in a more precise way: not as a flaw to eliminate, but as a constructed professional identity that often goes unnoticed—and therefore unchecked.

Through familiar examples from software and IT work, Michael unpacks how this shows up in everyday environments: code reviews that turn into negotiations, architectural discussions that become performances, and retrospectives that quietly devolve into blame avoidance.

The focus isn’t on fixing others. It’s on learning to see what’s happening in ourselves.

In this episode, we explore:

* Why smart, capable professionals sometimes defend fragile decisions

* How feedback becomes personal without anyone intending it to

* What “ego” really means in a professional context—and why it’s often misunderstood

* Common ways ego distorts perception:

* Selective hearing

* Narrative locking

* Threat inflation

* Why technical roles are especially vulnerable to identity attachment

* Why ego isn’t the enemy—but an unnoticed ego is

Reflective questions offered in this episode:

These aren’t actions to take. They’re questions to notice.

* What part of this feedback feels threatening?

* If I weren’t protecting my role, what would I hear differently?

* What matters more here: being right, or seeing clearly?

* Am I defending a decision—or an identity?

Closing reflection:

When we work to protect the professional identity we’ve constructed, clarity tends to slip away.But when that identity is brought into the light—seen for what it is—it loses its grip.

This week, notice the moment when certainty tightens.That’s usually where clarity is trying to get your attention.

Mentioned in this episode:

* Beyond the Commit: The Human Side of Software Development

* Beyond the Stack on Substack

* Michael Payne on LinkedIn

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