This week, we are ill, so you know it's going to be a banger. Jessie regales us with the story of NXIVM, or at the very least, she attempts to for around 10ish minutes of the total runtime.

We also work out which would be the most popular male comedian sex robot, unpack lovecraftian beauty standards, name Tom's son and arbitrarily sample the PornHub drum loop.

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