OMG, Stacey’s parents are breaking up! Will she move back to Stoneybrook and rejoin the BSC? It’s completely impossible to know. A real nail-biter. The suspense is KILLING us. But more importantly, Alan Gray has an absolutely GLORIOUS hat.

On today’s agenda: the all-important sophistication hierarchy; how to tell if your baby is a Communist; tfw you can’t leave New York because you need to keep an eye on your embezzlement business; a passionate encounter with a sexy cabinet-maker; how to watch TV while remaining virtuous; beloved family comedy Rosemary’s Baby; everyone else’s parents are still madly in love, sorry Stace; upsetting facts about donkeys; the decadence of giant novelty aspirin; being gay, doing extremely small crimes; a clique-based economy; the Pikes do their bit to keep property prices affordable; cardboard box mooching etiquette; the semiotics of sequins continue to baffle us; top-notch nephew adventures.

Our theme song is "The Incredible Shrinking Larry" by Matt Oakley and "Big Band Jingle A" is by Lobo Loco, both on the Free Music Archive.

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